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#52275 - 12/08/06 10:18 PM Why? Kids wont dare tell!
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
An incident happened in my neighborhood with a father who molested his little girl.
Her name was kept from the public for her safety.

I heard it was his little girl and knew her, and the word got out from sources that should keep their f*ckin mouths shut.

I never told anybody what I heard, NO way.
But I saw her hurt and felt I could not help.
She started wearing pants and felt wary of men, even me, though she was OK not so long ago.

Nightmare scenario for the little girl, and her family had to move.
Its always the kids who suffer :rolleyes:

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#52276 - 12/08/06 11:42 PM Re: Why? Kids wont dare tell!
melliferal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
Quote:
Originally posted by reality2k4:

I heard it was his little girl and knew her, and the word got out from sources that should keep their f*ckin mouths shut.
I'm not sure what you mean by this.

_________________________
Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

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#52277 - 12/09/06 02:17 AM Re: Why? Kids wont dare tell!
endlessjourney Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 518
Loc: Cincinnati Ohio
Who should keep their mouths shut? Silence is the very thing that allowed the abuse to continue. That little girl has nothing to be ashamed of. However, the father should have a big f''king tattoo that says "pedophile" put on his head.

Much love,
Jason

_________________________
Truth is the very reason we strive to live. It surrounds and resides within us. Accepting the truths we already know and seeking out those we do not is a direct path to inner balance and joy. For life is not a means to an end, but a journey. Life comes and goes but the truth will always live on.

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#52278 - 12/09/06 02:40 AM Re: Why? Kids wont dare tell!
batcountry Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/06
Posts: 263
Loc: the ether
i think he is saying that some people knew the girl was the one that got abused and told about it, so now everyone knows.

_________________________
nothing to see here

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#52279 - 12/09/06 05:38 AM Re: Why? Kids wont dare tell!
melliferal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
Ah, I see. In that case, yes I can see all kinds of things wrong with the public disclosure of such information.

_________________________
Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

Oprah's resources for male survivors

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#52280 - 12/09/06 09:12 AM Re: Why? Kids wont dare tell!
endlessjourney Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 518
Loc: Cincinnati Ohio
Please explain Melliferal.

Jason

_________________________
Truth is the very reason we strive to live. It surrounds and resides within us. Accepting the truths we already know and seeking out those we do not is a direct path to inner balance and joy. For life is not a means to an end, but a journey. Life comes and goes but the truth will always live on.

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#52281 - 12/09/06 09:19 AM Re: Why? Kids wont dare tell!
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
I was scared , thats why I cept my mouth shut for 30 years

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#52282 - 12/09/06 10:11 AM Re: Why? Kids wont dare tell!
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I knew the man was caught molesting a young girl.
By chance, somebody I met told me it was his little girl involved.

The source of the information was a good source, and I know where it came from, but WTF!
Who? Would disclose that sort of information to others!

I said my lips are sealed, and yes, nobody else got this from me.
I know the damage, but the little girls family had to run.

Its the worst nightmare for any kid, and that is why they dont tell, \:\(

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#52283 - 12/09/06 11:44 AM Re: Why? Kids wont dare tell!
Kirk Wayne Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/05
Posts: 499
Loc: Shrewsbury UK
Silence is the best weapon perps have sure worked with me, I was terrified that people would find out about my past, until I learnt different, today I have NO SHAME and will disclose to anyone for the sole purpose of educating them.

Kirk
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"


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#52284 - 12/09/06 04:39 PM Re: Why? Kids wont dare tell!
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
At least that little girl is having the issue resolved RIGHT NOW instead of waiting 30 years like many of us.

I remember when I was 9 years old, that if I told, the police would get involved, and I would have to tell my parents etc. "Umm gee he made me suck his dick and he tried to stick it inside me etc."

Who the hell wants to tell anyone about that stuff? It was mere embarassment that kept me silent. He never once asked me not to tell becuase he (he was that good) knew that I would not!

If I would have had ANY FUCKING CLUE about how what he did was going to effect me later in my life I WOULD HAVE TOLD! But my parents never fucking told me what to do if I was ever in this kind of situation so I had no effective tools to deal with it. I blame my parents just as much as my perps. They had no right to assume that the world is perfectly safe for a 9yo boy.


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#52285 - 12/09/06 04:51 PM Re: Why? Kids wont dare tell!
batcountry Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/06
Posts: 263
Loc: the ether
i dont think this is about the girl telling.

it's about the people she told, spreading gossip, and letting everyone who had no business knowing know what happened to her.

_________________________
nothing to see here

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#52286 - 12/09/06 04:54 PM Re: Why? Kids wont dare tell!
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Oh ok sorry. I'm still waking up. Thank you.


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#52287 - 12/09/06 04:59 PM Re: Why? Kids wont dare tell!
batcountry Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/06
Posts: 263
Loc: the ether
no problem \:\)

_________________________
nothing to see here

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#52288 - 12/09/06 05:45 PM Re: Why? Kids wont dare tell!
melliferal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
Quote:
Originally posted by endlessjourney:
Please explain Melliferal.

Jason
I think the situation is, the disclosure of the abuse had already happened and was being dealt with; however, someone was going around spreading the name of the abused child all over town. The fear of a situation like that happening is certainly one of the things that kept me from telling.

_________________________
Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

Oprah's resources for male survivors

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#52289 - 12/09/06 05:57 PM Re: Why? Kids wont dare tell!
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Of course! She has to go through enough without f*cking assholes spreading it.
Its totally unbelievable how people can spread this stuff about, without knowing the consequences.

She will already be shouldering the blame, guilt of her dad going to jail, and the family break up.
He has fucked up his own seemingly lovely family,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#52290 - 12/10/06 05:49 AM Re: Why? Kids wont dare tell!
endlessjourney Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 518
Loc: Cincinnati Ohio
What would you think about hearing about that girl. would you judge her or would you at least be supportive to her. I would and I would expect that most of the other people that are aware would. I guess some people would be avoidant of her and that would hurt her. However, you were right.

"The fear of a situation like that happening is certainly one of the things that kept me from telling". Exactly. My point is, that concept is what helped the perps to have leweigh over us. Yea, its gonna hurt her at first but in the long run, it is probably the greatest thing that has ever happened to her. Maybe the girl felt different at the time but I don't think anyone else would think any less of her.

The whole family wasn't guilty of this. The father was. He was the one who was shamed and should have been for his actions.

After recovering for a long time, I've learned that people that know about what happened to don't perceive me as "Jason, the kid that was sexually abused". They see me as Jason, nothing more or less. I guess It is somewhat frightening thinking that people would think I could be a perp because it happened to me. You all know that myth. The truth needs to be shown about that as well. I feel that revelation is the key to recovery in anyone. Secrecy, was the very tool that prevented us from justice as children.

Maybe that little girl wasn't strong enough or ready to deal with the fact that everyone knew, or the pain and guilt she may have felt. Who is? Who was ready to deal with any of the affects of CSA. None of us. We just had to pick up our weight and do what we do best. Move on.

Much love,
Jason

_________________________
Truth is the very reason we strive to live. It surrounds and resides within us. Accepting the truths we already know and seeking out those we do not is a direct path to inner balance and joy. For life is not a means to an end, but a journey. Life comes and goes but the truth will always live on.

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#52291 - 12/10/06 05:56 AM Re: Why? Kids wont dare tell!
Wornoutsoul Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/13/06
Posts: 59
Loc: Europe
:rolleyes:

Quote:
today I have NO SHAME and will disclose to anyone for the sole purpose of educating them.
Likewise, I don't shout it from the rooftops, but people need to know so I can be free from living a lie.

Im honest about it so I no longer have to lie.

_________________________
Here to help and inspire.....

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