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#51926 - 07/07/03 05:19 AM Mind & Body fighting for control
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
I haven,t had the energy to repliy to any threads latly. I come and read a lot but just can't find the will to write. I have been on a 2 month battle with my MEDS.
I realy didn't care about getting started on meds but most people said it would help. well I must say this has been a hellish 60 days. I am on my 2nd set of meds and not sure they will work. Last week I had 3 nights of no sleep.

I have been having night mares about beeing chocked by perp #2 . MR S. told me that he was going to get his way with me as he pushed down on my wind pipe with his hand rapped around my neck, He told me that he could make me pass out in 7 seconds.

So now 40 years later this evil man is in my life every night. The meds help me get to sleep but after 3 hours I am awaked by my nightmare, Don't know what to do next, seems that he is winning the battle.
Well guess I will try to get some more sleep.
Muldoon

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#51927 - 07/07/03 07:56 AM Re: Mind & Body fighting for control
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Muldoon I'm really sorry for what you're going thru. Yeah meds can help some people sometimes but they are highly overrated as a whole IMNSHO. Praying you will sleep better and overcome these nightmares in your life. Take care.

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#51928 - 07/07/03 08:36 AM Re: Mind & Body fighting for control
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Muldoon,

I am sorry for what you are going through. I went through 5 meds to get me to sleep and never did find one that worked or even seemed to help a little, along with 1 anti-depressant. I went eight months with less than 3 hours of sleep a night, even sedatated at the hospital, I could only manage 3 hours. Pure exhaustion doen't even work. The painful memories will keep you from sleeping and wake you when you do.

They are so many medications and so many individual physiologies, that finding the match sometimes takes awhile. And the meds themselves take awhile to build up to the point that they work. I had a set back 2-3 months after I begain my meds, and attempted suicide. That was the worst thing I could have done.

I am glad that I am surviving and I am glad that I have found this place. A little sanctuary where I can speak and be heard, and be understood. It's a long battle that I'm glad I am here to fight it. But with the proper medications, therapy, and most of all, support, I will overcome, as will you.

My thoughts and prayers are with you,

Bill

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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#51929 - 07/07/03 08:49 AM Re: Mind & Body fighting for control
ernie Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/26/02
Posts: 121
Loc: Portland, Maine
Muldoon, My heart goes out to you. When I first began facing my SA head on, my wife had asked me to leave and I was living in a strange apartment alone, really alone. I did not sleep either, I would find myself in bed at 8pm and up by midnight ready to get to work or do laundry or whatever.
What a nightmare that was, I would struggle through the next day wishing I could take a nap.
I found eventually that if I read something on a subject I enjoyed prior to going to sleep, my mind could concentrate on that subject rather than what I was going through. It really helped. I am a car nut and found by recalling car model years and who drove them, my mind would also relax.
Different things for different folks. I hope you are able to get to the point where you can relax some, we never forget....never but, there is a tremendous amount of good in each of us and that good is worth concentrating on. We are survivors, we are surviving our own hell and trying to regain that which was stolen from us. Don't give them another day of your life, it took me 40 years as well to finally say NO MORE!!! You too can do it.
Stay strong, be you,
Bob

_________________________
The roads of life are full of stones but, they can be moved take my hand we will help each other.

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#51930 - 07/07/03 10:26 PM Re: Mind & Body fighting for control
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Sorry to hear that you are having so much trouble Tom.
If you can, it might be good to nap whenever you can after a sleepless night.

The med thing is really difficult. But, when the doc finds the one that works well for you, it really is great.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#51931 - 07/07/03 10:37 PM Re: Mind & Body fighting for control
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Tom,

It really bothers me to hear that you're having such a rough time. I have some trouble with sleeping sometimes, too, but I haven't been on any meds.

I hope as Bob says that you will find the right set and get some relief.

Wishing you well,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#51932 - 07/08/03 12:41 AM Re: Mind & Body fighting for control
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Thanks for all the kind words and the ideas on how to handel this. With my new med I don't have as many bad nightmares about MR S. I just jump up out of bed gasbing for air. It is so funny because before I started taken the meds I had no bad dreams and I had pushed most of those throught out of my mind. Now that I sleep longer all this shit has come rushing back in. Before the meds I would sleep for 3 hours and then wake up. I would be awake for a few hours than go back to sleep about 5 in the morring. I didn't sleep long enough to get to the dream state.
On the good side the Meds seem to help with the Depression. Many be with time the sleep disorder with get resolved. Thanks again guys
Muldoon

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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