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#5191 - 08/15/03 03:26 AM Welcome Wounded2Courageous
ScottyTodd Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/12/03
Posts: 1561
Loc: Pennsylvania
W2C - I read your survivor story however we are not permitted to post to that Board...Soooo
WELCOME! I know it took real courage to post in public as you did and I am sorry you had to endure your brother's (and other's) abuse; BUT I am glad you are here and getting it out! You are not alone and in the midst of the brotherhood of survivors of sexual abuse!

I am happy to hear you have a fine wife to support you. It is so very important for married guys in recovery to have their spouse's understanding and love. It is not easy recovering and working on wellness and wholeness but it can be done. There are a lot of great, supportive and knowledgeable fellas here. As you post and share, you'll get to know them and they you!

You mention remembering plenty abuse but still fuzzy in some areas. Don't worry about that now, you will remember what you will need for right now - here, today. Work with what you have and the rest will come along.

You mentioned flashbacks...boy do many of us here identify with you there. If you look back over recent themes, I remember one talking about flashbacks. They are terrible, intrusive and sometimes frightening episodes but come with the territory of sexual abuse victimization. Talk about them with the guys here as you feel comfortable.

I encourage you to post and interact here on the boards. Even if you think you may just be the only one who thinks, experiences or behaves in a certain way - realize, really you are NOT alone. All the guys here have walked through the same garbage and pain but we work at being survivors!!

Looking forward to hearing from and sharing with you, W2C.

Howard

_________________________
If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd

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#5192 - 08/15/03 09:45 AM Re: Welcome Wounded2Courageous
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
W2C,

Let me add my welcome. No one should ever have to endure what you did, or what any of us did. But we did, and now we can help each other reclaim our lives.

There are a lot of stories here, and each is different, unique. But the terrible effects that sexual abuse has on us are remarkably similiar in so many cases. We really can express our pain and find understanding. That alone is such a powerful experience that for me it has been a Godsend. The survivors, partners, advocates, and healers that come here provide so much support and encouragement. I hope you will find as much hope here as I do.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#5193 - 08/15/03 12:33 PM Re: Welcome Wounded2Courageous
Wounded2Courageous Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/06/03
Posts: 2
Thanks, Howard and Joe, for your words of welcome and encouragement. I've never told another soul about the SA besides my wife. I feel a lot better today knowing that I posted it here. I am not alone! Again, thanks.

W2C


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#5194 - 08/15/03 02:36 PM Re: Welcome Wounded2Courageous
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Hey, Courageous,

Welcome to MS. Like most of us say, "Sorry for the reasons that you had to go looking for a place like this, but we're gald that you found us."
And, I would add, that I'm happy for you that you
have found us and are dealing with your Childhood Sex Abuse--CSA--so early in your life,
and that you have a supportive spouse. Say "HI" to her for us.

I've been blessed with an incredible partner, too. In just 13 days, we'll celebrate 38 years together--and she's been there for me, every step
of the way. My hope for you is that you may be that for each other as you recover YOUR LIFE for your lives together.

I can't imagine how humiliated and confused you must have felt when your brother made you do those things. And I can only think that your brother must have been abused by someone else, when he was younger.

You're here, now, and we've got some of the strongest guys you've ever met, and we'll walk with you just as far as you want to go.

You've found your buddies, your brothers,
maybe even a friend or two.

Welcome home.

David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#5195 - 08/15/03 04:05 PM Re: Welcome Wounded2Courageous
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
Dear W2Courageous

It is really scary how you story parallels mine. My brother did not go to lengths that your did, but that does not diminish the devastation that was wrought in my life, and that I have lived with for 40 years. I am glad you are young and getting help now. When I was your age and tried to get help, I was threatened with bodily harm and that scared me silent for decades.

My brother perp died years ago, and I am really disgusted to say that to this day, I have not mourned his passing. Guess I better stick around here and listen for a while. I hope you do the same, my little brother. Oh, by calling you brother, I hope you don't feel triggered. I mean it in the most loving, non-sexual way possible. None of us here would ever objectify you in that manner. Here you can know what it really means to have a brother who cares for nothing less than your highest and best.

Stick around and let us know your heart and soul.

Fondly,

Ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#5196 - 08/15/03 08:01 PM Re: Welcome Wounded2Courageous
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
W2Courageous
I think you're finding some solace here already, I certainly hope so.

SA is a bad deal, but it's good that you are dealing with it now, while you are still young. And that your wife is supportive and involved. You're a lucky man.
Although I bet you don't feel that way.

Stick around, there's great support and help here.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#5197 - 08/16/03 12:51 PM Re: Welcome Wounded2Courageous
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
W2Courageous

Look what you have found. The greatest bunch of guys it has been my pleasure to know. Support by the bucketful.

Yeh Abuse really stinks and it taints you with its evil. But that taint can be washed of and blown away. The thing to remember is that it was never you fault not ever. When your brother did what he did to you he lost all right to be your brother. Only and sick perverted asshole would do that.

As Ivanhoe says you have come here and found real brothers who are caring, helpful, have shoulders to lean on and to share with you your successes. To top it all off you have a wonderful wife.

The road is rough but it is the only one to be on. So post, listen, read and share.

And WELCOME

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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