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#51900 - 03/02/06 04:46 PM Re: Feel strange around guy talk, hunting, fishing, etc.
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
I really enjoyed reviewing the day's progress on this thread, and I saw one statement that really does it for me:

Quote:
Be who you are without apologies.
Alan, that says it all bro. We just have to be true to ourselves. If you are into tearing cars apart, hey, go for it, why not? But if you prefer to curl up with a book and dream away, do it. I don't think either is more or less "manly" (whatever that means) than the other. The problem only arises when we feel ourselves obliged to "prove" something to our peers.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#51901 - 03/02/06 11:20 PM Re: Feel strange around guy talk, hunting, fishing, etc.
John Oarc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 633
Loc: Louisiana
I am 40 now and looking back I did all the manly things, exactly the way some of my old friends are still acting today. I think some of my issues revolve around the fact that I have been through many years of counseling and now find that I no longer like to act like others, it is hard to believe that waking up one day and everything you thought was great no longer has that affect on you. I woke up and realized I was living a life that was made up to fit in with the rest of the world and now I am learning to follow what I like instead of what I think others would expect of me because I am a man. I have spent so much time and money trying to prove to the world that I was a man that I now find myself surrounded with things that I no longer care about. It has been difficult because I literaly woke up on day and felt like I did not know why I had purchased all of the manly things, I felt like I was in another persons life and I no longer needed these things to make me happy, I was happy with just being me, I had nothing to prove. I have to admit at 40 it is difficult to start over but that is what I feel like I am doing. It is great, dont get me wrong, being myself is the best thing that has ever happenned to my life.

Thanks for the feedback guys,

_________________________
Whatever It Takes, God


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#51902 - 03/03/06 06:23 AM Re: Feel strange around guy talk, hunting, fishing, etc.
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
I think what the biggest 'benefit' of my sexual identity mix up has been that it opened up new vistas for me to explore, beyond the gender biases of traditional male conditioning.

Today I can openly enjoy things a traditional male would not think of exploring, like baking a cake or giving someone a warm 'extended' hug.

_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

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#51903 - 03/05/06 01:42 AM Re: Feel strange around guy talk, hunting, fishing, etc.
John Oarc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 633
Loc: Louisiana
Thanks for all of your replies, I am finding new things out every day, and with all of the help from you guys who I now consider my brothers my life just keeps getting better.

I hope it does not sound cheezy to call all of you my brothers, but it is the way I feel. I hope you dont mind me calling you guys brothers.

Thanks again,

_________________________
Whatever It Takes, God


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#51904 - 03/05/06 02:21 AM Re: Feel strange around guy talk, hunting, fishing, etc.
Derdlecar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 1314
Loc: Ogden Utah, USA
John,

I came to this thread kinda late, but you mentioned something 'bout putting a chevey 350 in a jeep. I have a jeep. I can look out the window and see it right now while I type this reply. It has not been started in about 6 months. At one time, I had all these macho plans for it. But I was just telling my wife today that I think it might be time to sell it. Just have lost intrest in that type of thing. I am a lot more touchy feely kind of person anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I could still enjoy a good jeep run, but that sort of thing is not as important as it once was. Other things are more important. My motivation for wanting to go on a jeep run has changed. I go jeeping to see the country, not to tear it up and see how far I can make the mud fly with with my over sized tires. And I find myself not fitting in with the other guys who go jeeping and therefore, my jeep just sits.

Anyway, I think what I just said is that I understand how you feel. And one of my favorite pastimes, I no longer participate in because I no longer enjoy the company of most of the men who do.

Maybe I could start a "Warm Fuzzy Jeep Club."

Anyway, I hear ya bro, and I too find myself feeling out of place in a group of men.

Love ya

Darrel

_________________________
If a man would get his life on track, he must first go back to the place where it was derailed.

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#51905 - 03/05/06 01:35 PM Re: Feel strange around guy talk, hunting, fishing, etc.
John Oarc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 633
Loc: Louisiana
Darrel, I used to mud ride, four wheelers, jeeps anything that got me the attention of a real man, "what I thought was a real man" and like you the need just melted away one day. I no longer feel like I need to prove myself as a man and a lot of the hobbies that I once loved and spent a lot of money to do are no longer interesting. I think I was living or trying to live the lifestyle that I thought made me look and feel manly but like I said whith therapy and support from my family I know I am a man no matter what I do, I dont have to prove something that is physiologically a fact, I am a man.

Thanks,

_________________________
Whatever It Takes, God


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