Fellow survivor, like so many others here, I relate to the tiredness, and being tired of leaning on others. But that's what we're all here for, man. None of us can or has to carry this load of crap alone. You're not a nuisance or whiney; you've got nothing to feel guilty about or be sorry for in being here, venting, and seeking help & support as we all do here.
What are you doing it all for? For you. And you're worth it! So it is with all of us, friend.
Troy is right. We do tend to apologize too much here.
Troy, I'm sorry for apologizing so much.