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#51719 - 05/29/05 08:41 PM Re: We need you NOW!
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Kev, somehow that project will happen.
Not just a school, but all schools, radio station and even tv free ads and any more avenues like cinemas etc etc.

Nobody knows the amount of boys who get hurt, why? Because most of them live in silence, and silence is the worst hurt any boy can live with.

Awareness will never stop SA, but if it saves someone, or lets them know that there are people and places that will listen and care, then it is worthwhile.

You and Charlie did a good job, and it cannot be wasted through anyone having no time to listen.
People like to bury their heads in sand, and the big problem with people, is that they DO NOT LISTEN, and even if they do, they soon forget.

I cant forget, and nor can any of us here, that is why it is so important to have a voice and be able to use it,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#51720 - 05/29/05 10:55 PM Re: We need you NOW!
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Kev
your post tore me up, if someone says there's no time to make kids aware of the dangers of being abused then they're full of shit! There's no argument about that.

And if the message is being sent out by young men like yourself then it's hot and relevant, it will mean something to other kids because it coming from people just like them, not from adults who haven't always got the skills to relate to youngsters.

The other danger is that if we ( adults ) try to pass the message on then kids will tend to see it as something that happened to us, and not something that is happening 24/7 to their friends. The ones that are being abused know it happens, but they don't the way out. If the message comes from adults that abuse happens then they are also likely to think that there's nothing they can do NOW and that they will have wait until they are adults themselves before they can see an end to their abuse.

Keep fighting, someone will listen in the end.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#51721 - 05/30/05 01:49 AM Re: We need you NOW!
ForeverFighting Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 1058
Loc: New Mexico, USA
I'm so glad you wrote this post. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. And it's not just kids that don't know. It's parents. So many parents are oblivious to the fact that, like you say, it's people we know, and it DOES HAPPEN to boys everywhere. I didn't know what was wrong with me until I was grown and married and found out my wife had been touched by her dad. This anger came out in me, and suddenly I realized that my entire life had been a lie. That everything I had lived was wrong, and it didn't matter that my parents acted like everything was perfect or that the kids at school acted like coach was funny. I realized my obsession with having somebody care about me wasn't normal.

If somebody had just told me. Even if it were after the SA, at least I wouldn't have had to live a lie for 20 years. I could have understood.

Fight, Kev. I'm behind you 200%. You are doing something so important. I admire you a lot. If we can just save one kid out of each class, it's still too many being hurt, but it's one kid who won't live the nightmare we know so well. 5 minutes. I wish he'd give you an hour.

_________________________
ForeverFighting

"This search for the truth--it's not for the faint of heart."--Goren on 'Law & Order: CI'
"The former things will not be called to mind, neither will they come up into the heart."--Isaiah 65:17

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#51722 - 05/30/05 02:49 AM Re: We need you NOW!
demonboi Offline
Member

Registered: 05/14/05
Posts: 228
Loc: East Coast


_________________________
Every corner, every city
There's a place where life's a little easy
Little Hennessy, laid back and cool
Every hour, cause it's all good
Leave all the stress from the world outside
Every wrong done will be alright
Nothin but peace, love
And street passion, every ghetto needs a thug mansion

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#51723 - 05/30/05 06:11 AM Re: We need you NOW!
ShyBear Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 149
Loc: The American South
Kev,

Achool administrators can get all stupid about legal issues, liability, all that mess, especially when a they're looking at a letter as powerful & loaded as the one you guys wrote.

But sometimes, they'll listen to another adult, somebody with professional standing, like some of the moderators of this board. How about asking one of the moderators if they'd write a letter on your behalf to the school ? Maybe that would persuade them to read your letter to the 8th graders.


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#51724 - 05/30/05 09:23 AM Re: We need you NOW!
Soccer Kid Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/04
Posts: 273
Loc: Missouri


_________________________
~Zach~
Deviant of Many Talents

"Reality is just an illusion."

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#51725 - 05/30/05 10:39 PM Re: We need you NOW!
sophiesdad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/30/05
Posts: 462
Loc: Florida
I also read the incredible letter and was very moved by it. I would venture to say (being an educator) that someone thought it would have been a great idea and then the school board attorneys got into the scene and decided that there may be legal problems that they didn't want to get involved with. I've said it before, and I'll say it again... this country pays lip service to the rights of children, but when it comes down to the actual issues and events, they back down and would rather sweep it under the carpet.

Personally if it were me, I would take that letter and get it out to the media somehow. My first inclination is to write to Oprah Winfrey because IMHO, she's one individual who doesn't sensationalize her show (unlike those crappy shows like Jerry Springer). My gut tells me that she's one person who would listen.

Don't give up. It's just like I constantly tell students: If something is happening to you that you think is wrong, tell someone. If that person doesn't listen, tell someone else and keep going until someone DOES listen.

It's really sad, but there are certain issues in life that many people aren't willing to face. We take our mentally handicapped, our old people, or anyone else who is different and shove them away so we don't have to deal with them as human beings.

It takes a long time to change attitudes in society. Look at Martin Luther King... he started with a dream almost half a century ago. Do we still have prejudice in the world? Absolutely! There is something so true in that old saying, "Rome wasn't built in a day."

I hope that I've made sense... the bottom line is that none of us can give up. If one door is slammed in our faces, then we knock on another and another until someone finally opens it up. I, for one, would have been eternally grateful if someone had opened up the subject like that at school when I was a kid (when dinosaurs roamed the earth \:D ). I may have had the courage to tell someone about what happened and not shoved it so far back in my memory that I didn't remember what happened until I was 30 years old.

Keep trying, guys. You will eventually succeed. It took Edison over 1,000 trials to find the right material for the light bulb. When asked how he felt about the 1,000 failed attempts, he responded (loosely paraphrased), "I didn't fail 1,000 times, I just found 1,000 materials that wouldn't work in the bulb."

Sophiesdad

edited to correct a spelling error

_________________________
There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"

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#51726 - 05/30/05 11:05 PM Re: We need you NOW!
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
The other way of getting heard is to put your energy into an exisiting organisation that is working for young abuse victims, yes, there will be adults at the top of the tree, but these organisations are much more likely to listen to you.

I'm not that familiar with US organisations, but I'm sure someone here is.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#51727 - 05/31/05 05:01 AM Re: We need you NOW!
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Kevin
I know how it seem like grownups don't get the importance of this issue. I do beleive we are making a little head way but 5 min is so little to ask. I will try I more time to change the princples mind tomorrow ,

Kevin I do beleieve this message will be heard by 100 of thousands of guys in the next years. Thank you so much for you hard work.

Tom

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#51728 - 05/31/05 12:51 PM Re: We need you NOW!
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Hi Kevin,

A really moving post, and I am really glad you have said all this. I do not mean this as an excuse in any way, but I can confirm from my own 25 years of experience that educational institutions tend to be conservative and a lot of times need to be convinced that something is a good idea. Then once you convince then they can really roll with it.

The point you are making is so important, and I thought I would share with you something that a student of mine just told me today. He was abused as a child and is now 20 but still living at home. His abuser, a relative, has moved in with them for a few weeks and the abuse has begun all over again. He feels like he doesnt have the strength to resist "because of the silence", which he explained as meaning the feeling that he is all alone, that no one knows or cares, and that he has nowhere he can turn to. The letter you and Charlie are writing may not be heard right at the time you thought, but I am sure it will help a lot of kids by breaking this kind of silence.

Keep it up!
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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