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#51345 - 12/28/03 12:37 PM ned help pleses
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
juust need hlhep, sscared, sickkc and titred, always bbad thinn to be siick, fahther gett mad alwwys,not know whhy, i tscare em riight now, plelase helpp

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#51346 - 12/28/03 03:09 PM Re: ned help pleses
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Leosha, go away from your father. Go to a friends house, whatever you need to feel safe. I think that you are about to leave there anyway.

You need to let people build you up, not tear you down. You can't know why your father is mean just now. He has his own problems.

Get to safety friend--and fly out of there sooner if needed.

You know how to contact us so do what you need when you need to.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#51347 - 12/28/03 05:08 PM Re: ned help pleses
Andrew Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 1192
Leosha, take Bob's advise. Do whatever is necessary to make you feel better. You are taking on so much, it might be an idea to throttle back a little. Peace, Andrew

_________________________
there is no courage without anxiety

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#51348 - 12/28/03 06:11 PM Re: ned help pleses
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Leo Bob has really good advice. I hope you are feeling better today. I know it was a big thing to skate at the arena and I am so proud of you.

Remember the man who helped with your creation has never ever deserved the title father because of his behavior. You are a better man than he will ever be.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((LEO)))))))))))))))))))

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#51349 - 12/28/03 10:15 PM Re: ned help pleses
bountiful1 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/03
Posts: 58
Loc: New York, New York, USA
Leosh!

Take a deep breath buddy. Do whatever you feel you can do to make yourself feel safe. Cuddle with a pillow - drink tea maybe - go to a friends place.

You have taken big and very brave steps this past week. That can take a lot out of you. I feel sad that you have had to face those terrible actions. You are not there anymore. I know for myself that it sometimes feels like it is right here, but it isn't ... I have to kep reminding myself of that... Buddy you are not alone. Take a step back - you did such a big thing for yourself last week... sleep, take a breather, anything that you can think of that will allow you to ease back for a bit. You are so strong... rest up - I have to say that to myself too...

I'm thinking of you buddy!

Asher

_________________________
I do not know what signature means in 300 words. I am guessing some thoughts?

Great book that captures the truth of PTSD: The Sentimentalists by Skibsrud

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#51350 - 12/29/03 09:03 AM Re: ned help pleses
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
Leo,

I didn't sign on until today, so I hope you're doing better now. If not, remember, you've done so many courageous things this week, you have every right to be tired.

Get away from your father. As hard as this sounds, he's not healthy for you. I agree with everyone else. Find a safe place, talk with people you care about and care about you, and take care of yourself.

You humble me, my brother. Please stay well and keep safe.

Peace and love,

Scot

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#51351 - 12/29/03 10:18 AM Re: ned help pleses
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Leosha,

If you are near your father get away from him. Now. It is not good for you to be around him. It is a wise man who leaves and lives to return stronger.

Take care of our friend. Get yourself away from your father, please.

If you are away from him, try to remember that. It is not the 1980s. It is nearly 2004. You are an adult in charge of yourself. He is not in charge of you. You are an athlete and a coach. You have travelled the world. You are a very good man, admired by many. You have your friends and your own life now.

Take exquisite care of yourself.

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#51352 - 12/29/03 01:33 PM Re: ned help pleses
Tribear Offline
Member

Registered: 11/09/03
Posts: 66
Loc: USA
Leosha,

I'm sorry you are so scared. You must feel horrible. Your father did not deserve to own a dog, let alone a fine son like you.

I know why he got mad. He got mad because he was mean--period. To get mad at someone because they are sick is mean and stupid. You can't help being sick. It was not your fault.

Your coach and your father are almost like the same person in a way, both were mean monsters to young boys. When you see one of them, you probably think of the other one. Seeing your coach probably reminds you of your father too. I understand that.

But they are the criminals, the bad ones, not you. Both of them should have been sent to prison a long time ago. What they did is against the law! The same judge would then look at you and say, "You poor young man, these men were monsters to you. YOU are absolutely innocent, no matter what they said or did to you. Please go have a good life now, because you deserve it. That is my decision".

You are a strong young man now, Leosha. You are not really a little boy, too weak to defend yourself. You have your own place to live now. I know you may feel little sometimes, but remember how big and strong you are today. Remember how you have stood up to coach? That is how strong you are now.

I am your friend, and you are a very good friend to me, and it will be all right.

Regards,

Tribear


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#51353 - 12/29/03 11:29 PM Re: ned help pleses
bountiful1 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/03
Posts: 58
Loc: New York, New York, USA
Hey Leosha!

Hi Buddy! I was thinking about you last night, and I have a metaphor for you. I Hope this will make sense for you - and most importantly - I hope it will ease your trouble in mind.

This is what I was thinking.

Remember those wonderful training days. Remember those amazing - beautiful - phisically amazing and difficult training days? Remember how amazing it felt after doing that long program - then doing ten or twelve laps afterwards? Remember how fulfilling it was to push through the difficulty of phisically demanding and then getting through that? Remember collapsing by the boards, so unbelieveably tired - breathing so hard - but also the amazing satisfaction of having gotten through that near impossible phisical task??? Remember? I sure do! Those long, long training days! That never seemed to end. Extra ice time! Extra repetitons of the short program! Extra revolutions of the spins - just to be more excellent that all the other competitors! Extra laps after the program to ensure that you could do that program at any elevation - on any ice surrface ! All of that - beyond imagination - phisical WORK that you did to be the athleet that you knew was inside of you!!!

Remember making it through those training days that were so far above and beyond imagined physical exertion??? You know you have many many of those days insdie your emotional, physical, and muscle memories!!! NOW - remember the end of those days - and the end of those weeks - when you would eat a MOUNTAIN of food to recover! When you would have to sleep amazing long nights to recover!!! When you would colapse at the end of the day exhausted from all of that super-human exertion! REMEMBER?

Now - WHAT YOU SO BRAVELY DID LAST WEEK - going back to reclaim YOUR training place - YOUR ice surface - A part of your life that should have been a place of ease and great joy! It should have been a place of innocent and joyous clebration and affirmation of your accomplishments!!! WHAT YOU DID IN GOING BACK THERE IS THE EMOTIONAL EQUIVALENT OF HAVING GONE THROUGH A LONG LONG AND AMAZINGLY DIFFICULT TRAINING YEAR!!!

WHAT YOU DID LAST WEEK WAS AS EXHAUSTING AS A YEAR OF PHYSICAL TRAINING - THE KIND OF TRAINING ALMOST NO ONE HAS THE GUTS OR PERSEVERENCE TO DO!!! GOING BACK THERE IS THE EMOTIONAL EQUIVALENT OF TRAINING FOR TEN YEARS TO GET TO TEH TOP OF THAT PODIUM. WE KNOW SO WELL HOW MUCH REST AND RECUPERATION IS NEEDED AFTER A SEASON OF HARD HARD TRAINING. AND THE CARE WE HAD TO TAKE OF OUR BODIES AND HEARTS AND LUNGS TO GROW IN OUR TRAINING!

NOW - YOU ARE RESPONDING TO A HUGE HUE EXERTION ON YOUR PART. REMEMBER THE REST YOU NEEDED AFTER LONG HARD TRAINING DAYS AND GIVE YOURSELF THAT REST - FOR THE - JUST AS DIFFICULT THING YOU DID LAST WEEK!!!

Rest up to charge yourself. Lie on the couch and know that you have lept up a huge level - and challenged yourself - like those times when you pushed your skating instrument so far you thought you'd colapse!!!

You are deserving of a good solid session of care and comfort for yourself!!! What you did is the emotional equivalent of winning the Olympics! I stand up and cheer for you! And I know that you deserve a nice rest and recharging !!! You deserve it my friend!

Be good to yourself. Remember all that we had to do to be good to our physical selves to recharge and get ready for the next competition. Put that kind of care onto your amazing - challenging and brave reclaiming!

I wish I had a box of care. I'd send you a batch for yourself!

Remember colapsing after a program - but knowing that you have odne the very best you could do!!!

_________________________
I do not know what signature means in 300 words. I am guessing some thoughts?

Great book that captures the truth of PTSD: The Sentimentalists by Skibsrud

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