Having my brother being my perp makes this all very complicated. Not saying that it isn't complicated normally but just seems like a problem to me.

I had disclosed to my mom, I assume she disclosed to my stepfather with her needing some comfort. My stepfather works with my brother also my perp and I can't help wondering what he must think of me, what he must think of my brother (again my perp). Guess I'm feeling shame, the funny part is that I'm also concerned with my perps shame. With him being my brother it really complicates things.

Jason

Thank you for saying that. I have had a hard time with getting angry because I have been concerned with his shame as well. I am realizing more that I have been trying to protect everyone, maybe because I didn't feel protected. I have taken everyone else's feelings into account and forgot to or avoided to feel my own. Maybe it was a way to deny or avoid. But his shame is his shame and I am to a point of shear anger and disgust toward him. That is all I have. I don't even have pity anymore.

Own what is yours and let him own up to his actions because they were his and not yours.

Was your perp a relative as well?

>>I have taken everyone else's feelings into account and forgot to or avoided to feel my own.

Funny you should mention that, me too. I am a people pleaser to a fault. I also feel like everythings my fault. I made a mistake a few days ago and I forgot to tell a customer about a charge. I couldn't admit my mistake and ended up paying for it (all $55 of it) out of my own pocket. No one knows, not my boss or the customer. Worst part? This isn't the first time I've done this once was to the tune of $160