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#50958 - 07/12/06 09:19 PM and another thing
Trevor Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 778
Loc: Rhode Island
then ill shut up after this one.
my s sister is all of a sudden trying to put all
these rules on me like what time to come home and she wants to know where im going who im with and all that and its pissing me off cuz who does she think she is all of a sudden u know? she said something about how she doesnt want me out partying and hooking up and all that, i know the therapist isnt sposed to tell anybody what i tell him right? but i think he did cuz why is she all of a sudden trying to act like my mothr?!?!?!

_________________________
My lamb and martyr, this will be over soon. You look so precious.

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#50959 - 07/13/06 03:43 AM Re: and another thing
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Trevor,

I remember those days, but it wasn't my sister, it was my mom and dad. By the time I was a teenager, they'd managed to get their act together and try to do what was best for me. Yeah, same rules. Thirty years apart. Looking back on it from this side of things, they were right, they were trying to protect me from things. I didn't see it that way at the time, of course.

I really don't expect you to believe me or anything, but you asked, and I hope you will consider easing up on your sister. I think she means well at the very least.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#50960 - 07/13/06 08:44 PM Re: and another thing
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Trev,

In another post I suggested to you that your sister really can't know how to deal with all these big problems effectively - only a trained T could do that. But it does sound like she is making an effort.

The problem is she is making her effort by copying what she thinks adults do: make rules for the sake of making rules. That is of course BOUND to trip you right out.

I have to agree with John here. Can you try to work with your sister? That doesn't mean let her boss you endlessly, but perhaps try to talk to her and get her on your side. The more she knows and understands, and the more she believes you can be safe on your own, the better it will be for everyone.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#50961 - 07/19/06 02:13 PM Re: and another thing
Trevor Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 778
Loc: Rhode Island
ya i tried b4 but she just gets upset and then she crys and she doesnt wanna talk about it then her husband gets mad cuz i upset her and its just anothr big mess that i caused
she came to therapy w me a couple times but she said she had a hard time beleveing that her dad and her bro could do anything like that but the time b4 that visit when i talked about her dad drinking a lot and hitting me a lot she said it didnt surprze her at all and acted like she knew he was like that.
so i dont know. ill just keep trying to talk to her about it and see what happens.

_________________________
My lamb and martyr, this will be over soon. You look so precious.

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#50962 - 07/19/06 06:39 PM Re: and another thing
FLRich Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/21/04
Posts: 1404
Trevor,

I don't know how old you are, but I assume from theses responses that you are a teen. I can remember thinking my parents had "dumb" rules when I was growing up, but once I had teens of my own, I understood those rules. Part of those rules are just common decency. By that I mean I don't think it is too much for your sister to ask where you are, who you are with, and when you expect to be home. Trevor, that way if you don't show up, she at least knows where to begin looking for you, or to tell someone where you were going and when you should have been home.

Even though she is your sister, she seems to be responsible for you. She WILL worry when you are out at night, especially if you have already been hurt. It seems to me that she genuinely cares about you and your safety. See it as that, and not as a control issue. Try to put yourself in her position. Remember, there is always two sides to consider.

Good luck, Trevor. We are here for you.


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#50963 - 07/19/06 07:15 PM Re: and another thing
Jaysen Offline
Member

Registered: 06/14/06
Posts: 680
Hey Trevor,

Rules and curfews suck don't they? Especially when you've never really had them before. Funny though, I never had any growing up and I wish I did, being ignored was worse, only my opinion.

I have to agree with the others, it sounds like your sister is just trying to look out for you.


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