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#50501 - 05/26/05 08:10 AM Got rejected
parttimecop Offline
Member

Registered: 03/05/04
Posts: 139
I got a girl's number and got up enough nerve to call her twice(first time I left a message). Well the second time I asked her out and found out she had a boyfriend. But what is good is that she was not mean about it. I have had some bad rejections. Even though she told me she already was seeing someone, she was not offended that I asked. It does suck that she said no, but at least it was not super painful.

It is very hard for me to open myself up enough to face rejection. So at least it might be considered progress. I am tired of being alone, but maybe one of these days things will get better.

I guess it is one of those little things that people who are not abuse survivors can understand. It takes alot.

And my powerball number still have not come up. Last drawing I was off by one on the powerball. I was off by at least two this time. But in comparison to rejection, it is ok. I will survive.


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#50502 - 05/26/05 09:07 AM Re: Got rejected
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Rejection can be just a temp thing. Who know maybe this guy doesn't work out.You may cross paths 7 months from now and she maybe open to seeing you.
At least you have found your courage to ask.
Good luck .
Tom

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#50503 - 05/26/05 09:28 PM Re: Got rejected
ShyBear Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 149
Loc: The American South
parttimecop,

Quote:
So at least it might be considered progress.
In my book, that is BIG progress. Not "at least", and not "might be" - it IS !

Bearhugs (but only if you want them),
ShyBear


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#50504 - 05/26/05 09:46 PM Re: Got rejected
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Rejection is a real bad thing, because it always makes me feel inferior.
Ordinary guys (whoever they are) just take it, but it dents my confidence,

hope the powerball comes up, they wont reject U then \:D

You will find the right girl,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#50505 - 05/28/05 04:04 AM Re: Got rejected
eyesopen Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 05/26/05
Posts: 10
Loc: New England
Sometimes it would be months after getting rejected that I climbed out of my cave.

It doesn't bother me as much. For me, I was able to find some amount of self-esteem and purpose in my life, so that the batterings one takes from time to time didn't hurt as much - because I wasn't getting all of my validation from outside. It is easy to fall into that, we have bad modeling, feel bad about ourselves, many of us have or still feel worthless, when you are in that shape, who wants to look inside, or even trust the answers. Of course it feels normal to look outside - somebody - you for instance - surely must know what it is right.

People get rejected all the time, the difference between "them" and us is that they think it is a temporary thing, and they do not base their self worth on the outcome of one failed encounter.

Words are easy to throw around. I hope that you are able to deal with this in a way that works for you.

Best wishes,
W

_________________________
Only in growth, reform, and change paradoxically enough, is true security to be found.

- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

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#50506 - 05/28/05 04:00 PM Re: Got rejected
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Yeah, rejection sucks but it's not the end of the world. Without opening yourself up for some rejection you are closing off the chances of, as you put it, hitting the Powerball.

Quote:
Originally posted by parttimecop:
I will survive.
Yes you will.

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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#50507 - 05/30/05 02:18 PM Re: Got rejected
brennus Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/03/05
Posts: 6
Loc: Milwaukee
at least it is better than not trying at all, or EXPECTING to be rejected by straight women. I used to approach women expecting them not to be comfortable with me, and guess what, most of them weren't. Now I'm learning to be comfortable around females who are straight. I have used relationships with other men and women who partner with women to run away from relationships with straight women.


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