Vitaliy raises a good point. How can one be forgiven if they have shown no desire for it or expressed no remorse?

Perhaps this comes down to a matter of personal interperatation or understanding of the word "forgive"...

Lots of love,

John

heh if they gave acting awards for perps,they would all have an oscar, its what they do!its how they get away with it ,remorse wont bring the little girl back ,and no hate wont either ,but damn it its like saying its ok ,but its not!!! maybe her parents just couldnt cope and forgiving was the only thing they could think of to make themselves feel better ,he dont desreve their forgivness.the daughter is dead she aint comming back!!how much did she suffer before she died? when a murderer says im sorry should we just believe it? forgivness is not gonna save me any more than god did. its like we just forget the victim here THEY BEAT HER TO DEATH! that should be the message not that the parents forgave.rehab ? anybody know the nunbers on how many perps reoffend? if even one did then whoever let him out is just as guilty as he is and should be convicted of the same crime.

I believe Ken Singer has posted them before and there is a small percentage of perps who go on to re-offend. The majority don't. Also, I'm not sure of the US statistics, but in Canada I believe the re-offense rate for all convicts, including perps, is decreasing, mainly due to efforts of groups like the John Howard Society.

At any rate, Reena Virk's parents made their choice. I shared their story to illustrate my point and it is not our place to criticise them for their decision. I don't know if I could forgive someone who killed my child. I hope that I never find out whether I can.

EDIT: Ok I've got the stats for Canada.

From the Solicitor-General of Canada:

"The violent re-conviction rate was 13 per cent and the sexual re-conviction rate ranged from 0.7 per cent to 1.7 per cent."

From Correctional Service Canada (they run the prisons):
"Sexual offenders tend to have relatively low re-offence rates. Among released federal sexual offenders, the average rate of sexual recidivism has been estimated at approximately 5% - 6% and may be even lower."

thats 1.7 out of how many 10000? im not a math person but is that 100 lives shattered ?100 more kids destroyed ,too many dude way too many ,perps should get life just like murder ,my way its 0.0 reoffend,your way there is always that one or two that are gonna slip through the cracks , whats the price to find out? maybe my kid someday ,i dont wanna take that chance do you? im not critcising them at all just trying to understand their decision . also something else that plays heavily into this ,where do you think they sent the kids that killed her? do you think they will end up in some adult prison? like they should? no they wont they will be in a detention center till they are 18 and then most likly be released ,would you want to be the roomate of that kid? say your just a wild kid maybe 13 years old and get busted for oh shit say joyriding in somebody's car? never really been i trouble before ,but you wake up on day and your roommate is a murderer,and you know why hes there cause if you killed your a big shit . do you know what it feels like when they turn the lights out? would it bother you if he sits on his bed all day drawing pictures of stick people with heads and limbs cut off? but he flushes his art when anybody comes acts so remorsefull and they say what progress he has made!re hab my ass!!

If I was checking statistics for re-offence rates for sex offenders, I would be a little more specific and check the rates for paedophiles. I believe that the figures in the UK are much higher than that, maybe someone knows?

Best wishes ...Rik

That's a very good point Rick. The numbers I quoted are general, the majority of which will be rapists. And I am a bit suspicious of the figures myself, since none of the studies I found gave the time period for the study. I'm trying to find a good long-term study on recidivism for child molesters specifically. I'll post whatever I find.

Brothers,

This topic started off about forgiveness and it is sort of going into topic about perps and stats.

I know that info about perps and re-offending stats is a good topic, maybe the can be started as a new post.

Just Thoughts

Good point. The discussion on re-offending came up on MS before so no need to re-hash it here.

I would never forgive. We never asked for any of this to happen to us. They are the monsters and have ruined our lives. Only now we are starting to rebuild all that they have taken away from us.

Everyday I feel so full of anger and hatred and I find it hard to let go and feel "human" again.

If I was in control I would hang all these evil people and let it be a lesson to others.
Duncan

some things cannot be forgiven ,the hurt goes to deep.