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#49965 - 12/13/06 12:39 AM Re: FORGIVE????????
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
Without forgiveness there is no hope. Whether you believe that or not is up to you; but I would ask you this, has your anger brought you happiness or peace? Do you think it ever will?

“Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle, by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again.”

Dag Hammarskjold

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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#49966 - 12/13/06 12:39 AM Re: FORGIVE????????
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
lets get the poor souls into rehab ! why wont anyone answer my question? how do i get any of it back? if i forgive will i suddenly have my childhood back ? will all the shit just go away?will i be the person i was supposed to be,just like that? why do people ignore questions they just cant answer?if somebody is healed dont you think its their responsibility to share their wisdom with others?

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#49967 - 12/13/06 12:48 AM Re: FORGIVE????????
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
Because forgiving means you accept that your perp is human and can make mistakes, just like you are human and can make mistakes. It is a step towards peace.

From my post above:
" Forgiveness comes naturally to children. It is only by being hurt that they begin to stop forgiving others. It is a natural human trait. By forgiving, you release yourself to begin coming to terms with your own actions and any wrongs you may have done others. It restores love and harmony to human relationships. And the reason why I found forgiving my perp to be so liberating, and such an integral part of my healing, is because it has freed me to begin to make peace with the people I have hurt. How can I ask those people to forgive me, if I myself have not forgiven others?"

Ask yourself the last question.

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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#49968 - 12/13/06 01:33 AM Re: FORGIVE????????
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
thanks nobby for responding, define human ,is it a combination of elements in the right amounts that make a body,or is it something more? there are as many kinds of perps as their are kinds of abuse,in lots of cases the perp used grooming to suck the victim in and yeah maybe these people are human ,maybe they feel human feelings even if they are real bad feelings .maybe they feel fear and regret when they get caught, but their are people who are evil ,the only thing that makes them human is they have a body .my perp was not human . i can ask for forgivness what does that have to do with forgiving my perp? i dont owe him anything . also you know what else comes naturally to children? trust!!!!! but wasnt it that trust that got most people hurt? how many kids ?how many? how many stories have i read on this site where grown men are tearing themselves apart because not only did they get groomed and molested ,but they forgave the bastard and went back? forgivness and trust the two main reasons kids get not only molested but get molested over and over. if your 11 forgiving can get you killed.

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#49969 - 12/13/06 01:41 AM Re: FORGIVE????????
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
A 40+ year career as a paedophile - do you really classify that as a humanitarian person! If I make a 'mistake', would I repeat it constantly over 40+ years?

Let me run that by you!

Perv (year 1959) - I wonder if I could get away with abusing some young boy, if I bought him some sweets and apples first, got him to trust me! 3 weeks later - that worked fine! Now I'll have to think up some more 'games' for us to play. Couple of months later - 'well that's 3 young boys that fell for it so far - wonder why they only last a few weeks, and then suddenly they don't come back! Maybe I'm rushing things!

Year later, perv wakes up and finds that he has coins in his bed. Must have dropped out of his pockets the night before. Realises that he can guess what some of the coins are by the way they feel against him, even though it is dark in his room!

1969 - Perv has got his grooming/games down to a fine art. Claims another young mind! Will later find out that this was a BIG MISTAKE. Called him a shark (just like the rest - means you don't really remember their names & therefore cannot really count how many young minds you claimed - they were all called shark).

2004 - grooming / abuse has gone well. Perv has certainly perfected his art. Didn't understand the fuss, when the police called and there were boys in the house. Whats wrong with giving kids pellet guns (air rifles are expensive now, and there are problems getting the lead shot..it's also a long walk to the quarry, so it's better that they come here). Thank god there were no girls here when the police arrived, they might have got the wrong idea!

2004 - 1 day later - shit! Now the police need the perv to go to the station - someone has made a complaint. Just deny everything. It seems like there's only one complaint.

2004 - few weeks later. Perv is in local paper.

2006 - January - perv in court - pleads guilty because a third witness is going to stand against him.

2006 - 2nd appearance in court - tries to withdraw plea & requests full trial.

2006 - 3rd appearance - sentencing delayed for reports.

2006 - March 17th - convicted / sentenced.

If someone murdered everyone you loved, would you forgive them? I mean really forgive them, not just type/say that you do? Paedophiles murder minds.

Sorry - I just do not understand it, and repeat - 'Anyone that is overly concerned with forgiving paedophiles, just seems like an apologist for them'!

You also imply that 'those of us who do not forgive' are from the 'dark side' - sorry, but if I appear dark, I am shining a torch so that I can see where I am going - I am looking towards the light, not blinded by it!

Best wishes ...Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

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#49970 - 12/13/06 03:19 AM Re: FORGIVE????????
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
Quote:
Originally posted by RICK57:
[QBSorry - I just do not understand it, and repeat - 'Anyone that is overly concerned with forgiving paedophiles, just seems like an apologist for them'![/qb]
That's twice you have said that about me. Perhaps you are forgetting that I am a survivor as well. Whatever the case, I am not going to continue this discussion.

Peace

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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#49971 - 12/13/06 03:20 AM Re: FORGIVE????????
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
Quote:
Originally posted by RICK57:
Sorry - I just do not understand it, and repeat - 'Anyone that is overly concerned with forgiving paedophiles, just seems like an apologist for them'!
That's twice you have said that about me. Perhaps you are forgetting that I am a survivor as well. Whatever the case, I am not going to continue this discussion.

Peace


EDIT: And neither one of you answered my question.

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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#49972 - 12/13/06 03:33 AM Re: FORGIVE????????
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
the only question was how can i ask forgivness without forgiving my perp ,very easily and without any thought of forgiving him

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#49973 - 12/13/06 08:01 AM Re: FORGIVE????????
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Not to throw more fuel to the fire here, but...

My T tonight quoted the words of Christ where he said it would be better to have a millstone tied around ones neck and be thrown into the sea than to offend a child. I'm wondering how forgiveness fits into that scenario...

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#49974 - 12/13/06 08:27 AM Re: FORGIVE????????
Wornoutsoul Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/13/06
Posts: 59
Loc: Europe
Mark 9:42 reads as follows....

Quote:
And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.
Leviticus 18:6 reads as follows.....

Quote:
No-one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations


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Here to help and inspire.....

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