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#49955 - 12/12/06 01:02 PM Re: FORGIVE????????
Thomson Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/12/06
Posts: 30
This would be my first post on this forum.

I have never shared my story with anyone else, nor feel like i would be doing it in real life anytime soon.

For me there is nothing but hate for the perp. who ruined my life. It might be possible for me to overcome this anger, but whenever i think about how my innocence was taken from me, i could feel nothing but utter rage.

_________________________
There is enough light for one to see the truth.

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#49956 - 12/12/06 03:04 PM Re: FORGIVE????????
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
Quote:
Originally posted by Thomson:
This would be my first post on this forum.

I have never shared my story with anyone else, nor feel like i would be doing it in real life anytime soon.

For me there is nothing but hate for the perp. who ruined my life. It might be possible for me to overcome this anger, but whenever i think about how my innocence was taken from me, i could feel nothing but utter rage.
Hi Thomson and welcome. In your sig you write "There is enough light for one to see the truth."

That is definitely true about Malesurvivor. There is a lot of light here, and also a lot of darkness.

Forgiveness is a stage. Some would argue it's a stage of recovery, but I don't see it that way. I see it as a stage in becoming truly alive. You may not be there yet, but that's ok, everyone is on their own path. Coming here was a step in the right direction on that path.

I'll give you the Malesurvivor greeting: I am glad to see you here, but I grieve what brought you here.

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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#49957 - 12/12/06 09:07 PM Re: FORGIVE????????
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
how do i get it back?

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#49958 - 12/12/06 09:52 PM Re: FORGIVE????????
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Why? Cant we get it right!
Figure it out, you are all using the blame
and guilt tactics on yourselves.

Anger, get yr own back, guilt, depression,
all theirs not ours to carry around.
When you harbor thoughts like this, you
are letting it eat at you.

Pain! What is that?
I can stand pain but not hurt.
Hurt is so different, in that it makes you feel
different from all around you, and it is the progression of guilt and anger eating at your souls.

I have been guilty and wracked with anger and hurt since 10yo, so I need a break to find the little me.

You all do, and as for the perps, they will all suffer one day, believe me,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#49959 - 12/12/06 10:30 PM Re: FORGIVE????????
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
Would anyone tell a vegetarian that they would never be truly alive unless they ate meat?

I hope the answer is no!

It's the same for me and paedophiles - I don't need to forgive them to feel 'really alive'.

I've got to say that anyone that is overly concerned with forgiving paedophiles, just seems like an apologist for them. Forgiving them is the lowest priority on 'my things that I want to do with my life' list!

The only time I seem to get angry about a specific paedophile now, is when others tell me that I will not be happy until I forgive him! I've taken him to court, I've actually confronted him face to face! I know how he ticks. I know that he is frightened of me now! I know that he still wants to play with little boys penises! If anyone here thinks that's OK, I think they're in the wrong place!

When a paedophile is confronted with his crimes, and actually stands up and says: "yes I did it and I accept all responsibility for my actions, please lock me up and throw away the key, because if you don't I will continue to offend." Maybe then I might be able to head somewhere down the path of recognising that person as someone who mught deserve some forgiveness! What percentage of paedophiles actually stand up and say yes I did it! It wouldn't even register on a graph!

I can forgive someone that robs me because they are starving. I can forgive people that make stupid comments on the spur of the moment. Grooming,abusive paedophiles ...NO!

Sometimes, it is the light that is dark, and the dark that is light!

Best wishes ...Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

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#49960 - 12/12/06 10:48 PM Re: FORGIVE????????
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Rik, you can believe me or not, but he would not even look at me faceways.
All I ask is that you forgive yourself not them.

My perps(s), I dont know if they still are living or dead, but I dont give a fuck, they are dead in my mind.

I met a perp in the high st today, and he flipped when he saw me, and was obviously carrying a load of hurt, placed upon him.

Not my perp, but he is one, and he knows that I know, but I only had to make eye contact and he totally just wanted out.

You have been let down by society and law, not us, so please read between the lines, and not go off on a tangent,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#49961 - 12/12/06 11:36 PM Re: FORGIVE????????
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
somebody please tell me what we need to forgive ourselves for? abuse is someting we all have in common many of the effects are the same ,yet each case affects each victim differently ,its a very individual thing ,as is forgivness,you can no more say i have to forgive than you can say i have to believe in god ,not forgiving is a choice not a punishment . i consider my forgivness a gift and i aint giving any gifts to animals this year. if i forgive the perp then whos really to blame?god maybe? but no we have free will,so we cant blame god ,well i guess maybe its just shit happens huh? one thing thats great about this place we can disagree about stuff but still be friends ,each opinon has its own merits for the person expressing it ,i dont think you guys are wrong to forgive ,please dont think we are wrong if we dont ,its just that we make different choices and for each of us only we can decide if the choice is good or bad. the text books say forgive ,but then we all know the books dont apply to each individual situtation do they? for MEand only me forgiving is giving in ,letting go of my anger is giving in ,as long as im angry then im still alive and still fighting . i deserve to be angry ,much more angry than i really am ,if i forgive him then its the same as saying he did nothing wrong ,that the abuse wasnt that bad ,i think that not being angry and forgiving is not healing its denial something we tend to do a LOT ,MAYBE THE GUYS THAT ARE PISSED OFF AND WONT FORGIVE ARE FURTHER ALONG IN HAELING THAN THE OTHERS?instead of the other way around. i know thats a radical concept but again i can only speak for me and i wont attempt to make my truth anybody elses . shadow

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#49962 - 12/12/06 11:43 PM Re: FORGIVE????????
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
shadow, we are maybe further along, I may be.
Dont let anger into yr blood, you are just taking it out on yrself.
I am not ssying forgive them, but forgive yourself for the torture you find yrself in,
thats all,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#49963 - 12/12/06 11:52 PM Re: FORGIVE????????
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
im not to blame for the torture i find myself in

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#49964 - 12/13/06 12:15 AM Re: FORGIVE????????
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
Quote:
Originally posted by RICK57:
I've got to say that anyone that is overly concerned with forgiving paedophiles, just seems like an apologist for them.
I am not even going to dignify this with a response.

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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