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#491763 - 11/24/15 04:32 PM Intro
Mark71 Offline

Registered: 11/23/15
Posts: 2
I've been reading this forum as a guest for some time now, and have finally decided to post about what happened to me. It's taken me a long time to accept that it was abuse, partly because I was 19 when it started, and I've always thought that made me too old to classify it as such. I was also a willing participant, at least at first, so there is a sense of complicity that again makes me wonder if it really was abuse. But reading this forum has helped me face up to my doubt and guilt about what happened, and start seeing it for what it was.

#491765 - 11/24/15 04:47 PM Re: Intro [Re: Mark71]
woodenshoes Offline

Registered: 06/04/14
Posts: 225
Loc: North of usa

Welcome, sorry for the need to be here. It can happen at any age. Take care ask questions as needed.


#491767 - 11/24/15 07:03 PM Re: Intro [Re: Mark71]
Bluedogone Offline

Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 657
Loc: Southern US
Welcome Mark71,

Glad to see you've decided to join in the discussion, but sorry it's necessary for you to be here.
Abuse is still abuse no matter the age. No means no, regardless.
Everyone has their own story, and is healing in their own unique way. Professional help from someone trained in CSA is sometime necessary to make a lot of progress, but support empathy and understanding are always needed, and I hope you find them at MS.

Best wishes and good luck as you deal with the doubt and guilt on your journey of healing and recovery.

Never, never, never, never give up...Winston Churchill

#491768 - 11/24/15 07:07 PM Re: Intro [Re: Mark71]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 5853
Loc: O Kanada
welcome aboard, Mark71.

may you find peace.


#491798 - Yesterday at 05:41 PM Re: Intro [Re: Mark71]
Grunty1967b Offline

Registered: 07/28/05
Posts: 848
Loc: Australia

I'm glad that being a guest and reading posts has helped you arrive at the realisation that abuse took place in your life. I'm of course sad and sorry that it actually happened but to come to terms with that fact is a huge and progressive, healing step.

As I ponder on this recent acceptance within yourself I also see clear as day that it was in fact abuse that you identified with. Why else would it have been on your mind all this time? Nobody who has a healthy, consensual sexual encounter at age 19 would classify it as abuse. It would merely be a part of their adulthood journey of discovery and sharing an intimate part of themselves with another whom they care about.

The willingness you mention? That says to me there's a vulnerability to you (which in itself has many good innocent virtues), a vulnerability that somebody else trashed, stood over and abused. In turn they abused you.

I hope for you, a path towards wholeness that is assisted by others of us here who I'm sure you will find, can relate, empathise and support to great unexpected extents.

Welcome friend.


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