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#48899 - 06/28/01 09:04 AM i sent my letter today
Anonymous
Unregistered


about 3 weeks ago i wrote a letter to my attacker.i felt good after writing it but i just carried it around with me. i kept re-reading the letter and crying every time i did. it was like i was torturing myself for what he did to me. today i decided i wasnt going to do this anymore and i mailed it to him. i am so scared? i dont want him to reply back to me. i just wanted him to know the affects of his selfishness.


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#48900 - 06/28/01 09:20 AM Re: i sent my letter today
bosishere Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/14/01
Posts: 161
Loc: nashville,tn,usa
congardulations, siletnomore, the sending of the letter took a hell of a lot of guts, REAL GUTS. May I ask your age now and how old you were when the abuse took place? I still don't know why I waited 51 years b4 I decided to deal with the problems that I was a victum of, but with my counselor, dr., and NOMSV I am trying. again, my CONGRADULATIONS. bosishere


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#48901 - 06/28/01 03:47 PM Re: i sent my letter today
bosishere Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/14/01
Posts: 161
Loc: nashville,tn,usa
hello silentnomore. I got your message. some history-I was struck by a NYC subway train in 1990, and taken to the nearest hospital. With an anreal fact of fate, the name of that hospital is the same name of the hospital I was raped in Mass, by two (2) 18 yr. old men, I was only seven (7)pardon the english, but while one screwed me, I had to suck the other, and the next time it was in the reverse. I was in that hospital for three (3) YEARS, either on my back or stomach, because of a horrible bone dissease. Medical sicence now is a hell of a lot better that in those days. the abuse happened after 11:00pm when our one (1) aide was on duty. she was almost deaf and hated using a hearing aide. both the girls and boys ward had only one (1) RN. the time was during the Korean war so help in MA was very short. anyway when a nurse in NYC was yelling at me, "your at St.Lukes now, it is all ok" the only st Lukes I knew was the one back in 1951, so all hell broke loose. I have been in counselin now for more that nine (9) months. things back in Aug. were very bad, because of an ex-priest, who also worked for the state and city of Nashville, was found to abusing boys, and a chap in his mid 30s who has yet to go to trial, and worked for the POLICE boxing club was also found to abusing boys. in early Sept 00, the local rape center director wrote a letter to the editors of the NASHBILLE TENNESSEAN, and I responded to that letter, thus I see a counselor at the rape center each Tuesday, and now in a group there. It IS all spilling out and the flashbacks are horrid. I've never been married, am gay and "came out" during 1974 while I worked in Louisville,KY. these web pages - both the Male survivors and Gay survivors pages, pluse in general NOMSV is GREAT AND THEY DO HELP SO MUCH. I'll end with this thought, I do not know where you are in recovery, but I believe many will agree with me, you have taken a HUGE STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTON. feel free to e-mail me directly at bosishere@yahoo.com thanks, Michael aka bos


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#48902 - 06/29/01 05:52 AM Re: i sent my letter today
Anonymous
Unregistered


Good for you. tell him what he did and don't let him ruin your life. you get your life back. I wish I had the guts to talk to my attacker. take your life back. don't let him take it from you. get back everything that you lost. don't let him win. you should be proud of yourself that you did what you did. take your wife out to celebrate or something.


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