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#487729 - Yesterday at 04:14 PM Isolation...
Tryingtolive Offline


Registered: 02/15/15
Posts: 260
Loc: In the Sky
Anyone here struggle with isolation....

Every time I try to break out of it ... I quickly realize how much better Iam in isolation...

I don't know if this is going to make sense for anyone reading this but I always feel like it's not an issue... I can't describe how much energy it takes out of me being social .. I like my own thoughts and don't like to be bothered ....

My isolation falls directly on being depressed and having severe anxiety .... It's my way to control the anxiety I have and when I'm isolated I don't have to deal with my depression it's a win for me either way ... Isolation sucks but it's a lot better than having anxiety.
_________________________
I hope they understand, that I really understand, that they don't understand

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#487733 - Yesterday at 04:34 PM Re: Isolation... [Re: Tryingtolive]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 5521
Loc: O Kanada
the real problem started when i began to enjoy the isolation.
surrounded by crowds is a stressful situation.
but alone, by myself, is a painful sensation.
i crave connection, conversation and communication.
but i get no comfort from a superficial companion.
small talk only causes me frustration.

_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#487734 - Yesterday at 05:01 PM Re: Isolation... [Re: Tryingtolive]
Tryingtolive Offline


Registered: 02/15/15
Posts: 260
Loc: In the Sky
^^^^^^^^ Very true what u said above
_________________________
I hope they understand, that I really understand, that they don't understand

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#487738 - Yesterday at 05:11 PM Re: Isolation... [Re: Tryingtolive]
Nothing Man Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 789
Loc: Ohio
Self-isolation can be a mechanism by which we avoid looking at our problems and issues. It might feel good temporarily, but it does not aid in healing. We need other people to tell our truths to.
_________________________
Suisse et libre

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#487739 - Yesterday at 05:12 PM Re: Isolation... [Re: Tryingtolive]
iaccus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/05/14
Posts: 222
Loc: Idaho
You are not alone brother, its safer there.
_________________________
Life is pain, marked only at intervals in which the pain is less severe!
My Story http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8212#Post478212

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#487770 - Today at 12:01 PM Re: Isolation... [Re: Tryingtolive]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1391
Loc: New York

I find the isolation as being a very safe place for me. When not at work I am in my dungeon in the basement of my house where the door is always locked. I will only go into a store if I desperately need something like shoes. I go to work and come home and go straight to my dungeon. I cannot walk on a city street without being extremely paranoid.

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
<3 XOXO
Jeff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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#487773 - Today at 01:05 PM Re: Isolation... [Re: Tryingtolive]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 2245
I use to love mowing the lawn as a child and when we owned a home in CT. I remember I would start walking lines and before I knew it the front was finished. I would zone out and I guess walk repetitively up and down the yard for two or three hours. I found such peace and tranquility and most importantly felt safe, what was I thinking as I went through the motions, I never really remembered. It was like being on auto pilot, no distractions no one to disturb or push me into an abyss of pain. I have thought about this often and realize it was a sanctuary, it kept me safe and kept me to me. Was this my temporary place of isolation. We next moved to CA and I did not have this activity to help me collect and feel safe. I soon began to have syncope and what doctors thought were alarming PVCs. The nightmares and flashbacks started as I was fainting but I thought I had the abuse under under control. Years later we moved to VA and I had a yard to cut. But I could not reconnect with the sanctuary I once found in the simple task of cutting the lawn. The nightmares were always there since the syncope but the frequency was not overwhelming. I had some control. Well in VA the nightmares and flashbacks became worse, I was tormented and triggers were around me. I was falling apart and the memories were taking hold of my life.

I have wondered it I had not broken the timefor such a long time from the ritual of the lawn would I have been able to control the memories, flashbacks and dissociation or was the sense the isolation was my sanctuary an illusion or temporary state. I can say the isolation did relieve me of the anxiety in CT and for some reason my mind must not have gone to the abuse because I finished my task. Sometimes I think I read too much into my past, but my T has said we have temporary fixes to bury the abuse and emotions but soon or later the fixes become less effective because we need to release the pain.

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#487774 - 54 minutes 46 seconds ago Re: Isolation... [Re: Tryingtolive]
Nothing Man Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 789
Loc: Ohio
Right now I am in the depths of a pretty severe bout of depression and the thought of being around other people just sounds horrible. I just want to be alone right now.
_________________________
Suisse et libre

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