I agree that a short, factual note of why a post was deleted or edited by the moderator would help greatly in smoothing any suspicious feelings.
Would it be possible to put in at the botom of the moved post 'moved to Moderators Forum for review' - just so that people would know without question what had happened to the post - and then after it's moved it should be a private email matter between the Moderators and the offending person to resolve the problem contained within the post
I agree 100%, and it hasn't always happened in the past, we'll try and do better.
But I would add that the quarantine forum be a good place as mentioned above. That way the permanent removal would be approved by more than one person so no personal dislikes would influence the decision.
This is something that we nearly always do, we move a 'suspect' post to the Moderators forum for discussion. Again, it's something we need to do every time
Editing??? - Best left to the person who originaly wrote the post - To edit someones 'feelings' is a job that no Moderator can possibly do perfectly - if something is in question that you think needs editing it should be brought to the attention of the moderators who should PM the poster and between them privatly a solution should be agreed upon (often it is as simple as just changeing a few words or adding a line or two to further explain the feelings of why something was said in the fashion in which it was said)
We do act as a team, and a very good one I believe.
You're absolutely right that none of us should impose our own personal standards on someones post, and discussions with the poster are desireable at the very minimum.
Deleting??? - should only be reserved for outright malicious personal attacks (Mods need to explain to the poster the reasons for which the post was deleted and give consequences for such further actions)(I have seen other sites do a 1,2,3 policy in banning people who maliciously attack others - not sure what the standard is here before someone is banned) -
Personal attacks on another person will always result in action from the mod team.
And we do operate a 'three strikes and you're out' policy. It's not rigid, and we do make every effort to keep people here rather than ban them.
Very few people have been banned, and equally few have had a suspension.
- dissagreementas are part of the learning process of life - we just need to make sure that there are policies in place to keep dissagreements from escalating into malicious 'word fights'
But I am all for moderators taking more control here right NOW. Because I think tighter control is required right now. I do agree that we are adults here and should be able to behave as such. But at times, there will be to much emotion involved to be so rational as we should be
Totaly true! we are a bunch of emotionally injured people, that's why we're ALL here.
CSA is an emotional subject, and anger is a big part of our lives, but it's something we should also be doing our best to control.
And it's also why we have a set of guidelines and rules.
Who among us has the righteousness to censure our earnest brethren? Is there a Moderator with intentions so pure that they could without accountability delete an others heart felt thoughts? Of course! And that is a presumptuousness which is the danger to your plan.
Being told what I thought and how I felt “didn’t matter” was the deepest offense. Peace at all costs and justice be damned.
Which is why we must act as a team and involve the person whose post / thoughts are the subject of discussion.
I would be the first to admit we haven't always got it exactly right in the past, but I think we're getting better as the mod team develop together.
Will dubious judgements be made in the future? The answer has to be "yes" for two reasons.
The mod's are volunteers from the membership, all survivors I believe. And our skills are learned the hard way.
The second point is that in every dispute / discussion somebody is bound to feel that they have been hard done to, even with the best compromise possible.
Ans compromises must be achieved sometimes, not least because we have to consider the majority over the individual.
So, I guess this is my real question; can you deal fairly with the abuses that occur here? Not blindly, blithely or with insensitivity, but with an eye for rational justice. Can you forgo the desire to impose a perfect peace for the sake of fairness?
We can only try.
But sometimes what starts as a small issue escalates into a riot out of all proportion to the the original issue.
And when that happens something has to give.
We have had instances where we have bent over backwards to reach an amicable compromise and had it thrown back in our faces. What do we do then?
If the mods work as a team then the discussion does become more rational from our side. We have a little moan and vent on our forum and the rest of the team bring us back down to earth.
But sometimes each side ends up in a position where sensible talk is impossible, and that has happened a few times.
The bottom line is, "we try our best".
In my case I guess I think the best of people's intentions and sometines I err. It hurts me to see so many in pain for whatever reason. And I agree. Who am I to relegate someone's opinion to the trash heap. If it happened to me I know what it could do.
And this comment is from Mike, one of our mod's.
Which shows that if we do "moan and vent on our forum" someone always comes along with a voice of reason and compassion.
Can the moderators police/control the discussion boards at a level that can guarantee that reprehensible characters, such as have recently wreaked havoc on honesty and decency at this site, don't post here?
The poster here answers his own question "No"
And he's right, because as he points out they can return under another identity.
We're getting better at recognising 'dodgy' posts that seem to be deliberately mis-spelled and disguised, but it's the very nature of any site such as this that we don't have total control.
The only practical method of controlling something like this is to make MS a pay site and get credit card details, and that's not 100% foolproof.
The bottom line is, be very careful. It's up to the individual to take a large degree of responsibility for their own safety.
If you want to remain safe then don't give telephone numbers, home address, email address etc to other people. If you do then that's your responsibility, not ours.
We obviously can control access much better in the member forums, so should we do such things as make stronger more obvious statements in the public forum areas about risks and explain access and control of access in the member vs public forums?
( I had to go offline here, and the quotes are now in "-" )
"We obviously can control access much better in the member forums, so should we do such things as make stronger more obvious statements in the public forum areas about risks and explain access and control of access in the member vs public forums?"
The member forums are a bit safer because we do recieve payment and therefore have some better idea of who's who.
The main safety aspect is that it isn't public.
The predators and pervs aren't going to take the risk of being identified by paying up and then using the forums for whatever it is they want.
Please be aware that we have had predators here in the past, and we act decisively when we find them. But never forget how slimy they can be.
"I very much want everyone coming to this site to be able to express their views, feelings, and get the support from each other that makes this site so good. And if we are going to do that successfully we must come up with a viable solution to insure as much confidence in this site as possible. "
This is our common goal, and why I'm doing my best to reply to everyone here. Keep the thoughts and ideas coming guys, this site is all about 'us' - the mod's included.
Dave ( I'm exhausted after that