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#486474 - Yesterday at 03:52 PM Questions about everyone's abuse
Tryingtolive Offline


Registered: 02/15/15
Posts: 192
Loc: In the Sky
Trigger warning -

At the time of your abuse how many of you knew it was wrong ? I knew something was weird about it cause no one could ever be home .


At the time of your abuse was there physical or emotional abuse ? I don't remember my brother forcing me to do anything .. I think I was the one who suffered the emotional abuse not my brother since he was the one only wanting to do the acts nothing else ..

Were you bribed ? I can't remember if I was bribed with anything from my abuser .. I remember enjoying the time though with him .. .. My older sister got me anything I wanted ... Maybe that was her way of feeling sorry for me ...

What other sexual things were happening around you ?
I remember my brother and sister doing stuff when I was in the room ... they thought I was sleeping but I remember getting an erection while there were doing stuff in the bed with me .. ... I was in the same bed with someone having sex right next to me .... ... I remember both of my sisters going up in there rooms and humping pillows and catching them....I think my older sister showed my younger sister that ... When I acted out with my younger sister I remember her humping a pillow...




How many times do you think it happened ? How many years did this go on for ? I can't remember how many times it happened I'll just say too many times ... 3-5 years ...


Did you tell anyone ? Nope

Did you want it to stop ? Yes and no


We're there fantasys you had during the abuse? Wishing that my father would come join us....


Did u bury it or was it something that always bothered you ? I never realized that it had been abuse up until about 3 years ago ... It was buried for almost 10 years for me


Did it change your ways on how you view relationships and sex ? I never had an intimate relationship before ... Nor can I have a normal relationship with anyone ...I see sex as a dirty secret I must hide ... No one can find out me doing sexual things.














Edited by Tryingtolive (Yesterday at 04:06 PM)
_________________________
I hope they understand, that I really understand, that they don't understand

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#486492 - Yesterday at 08:46 PM Re: Questions about everyone's abuse [Re: Tryingtolive]
Strive 38/11 Offline


Registered: 07/24/15
Posts: 63
Loc: Australia
Being brutally raped over and over and over ... No bribes, head fucking manipulation and repeated threats.
_________________________
Just because someone stumbles and loses their way,
does not mean they're lost forever.

Strive 38/11

Get out of my way I'm coming through on my own.
I'm coming through all alone

Tunnel
Screaming Jets

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#486494 - Yesterday at 09:34 PM Re: Questions about everyone's abuse [Re: Tryingtolive]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2131
Loc: durham, north england
Bullying that devolved to gang rape for five years. Lots of s/ violence from boys and casual insults as well as the public s/xual violations from girls.
An environment of constant violence and victimization where s/x was an obsession, (on my first day at that school the P.e. teacher told a bunch of eleven year old boys that a girl had been raped for going into the boy's changing rooms, something which terrified me at the time).

No bribes or manipulation, just crude and obvious insults, though I was made to feel that if I tried to physically defend myself "hitting girls was wrong" and on some occasions I! was the one got in trouble for "touching girls" despite the fact the levels of humiliation were insane.

The real joke? Even though it got to the point after several years that I was seriously considering suicide, I still believed it was normal and assumed everyone else went through the same, and it was my failure for not being able to cope.

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#486499 - Yesterday at 10:50 PM Re: Questions about everyone's abuse [Re: Tryingtolive]
iaccus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/05/14
Posts: 178
Loc: Idaho
Quote:
At the time of your abuse how many of you knew it was wrong ?

My abuse began when i was 6 and lasted for almost a decade so no, I didnt realize it at the time, but later I did.
Quote:
At the time of your abuse was there physical or emotional abuse ?

I cant say that I was ever beaten, but manipulated into doing what they (my parents) desired.
Quote:
Were you bribed ?

Yes, I was showered with gifts and affection when I complied and learned very young that if I did what was expected I would be treated accordingly
Quote:
What other sexual things were happening around you ?

I tend to think that as a result of the abuse I was more "aware" of sexual things going on around me, between my parents, my siblings, and even what I saw on television, inuendo was a part of life.
Quote:
How many times do you think it happened ? How many years did this go on for ?

I have no idea how many times it happened over the course of the abuse from age 6 until I was age 14.
Quote:
Did you tell anyone

No, not until recently
Quote:
Did you want it to stop ?

When I was small I didnt even realize that was an option. as I got older yes.
Quote:
We're there fantasys you had during the abuse?

Not really
Quote:
Did u bury it or was it something that always bothered you ?

I buried it for decades, only recently, following a breakdown at my job did I begin to deal with it.
Quote:
Did it change your ways on how you view relationships and sex ?

I can honestly say that it has effected everything, from relationships to sex with my wife. Every interaction with someone else is questioned, every motive, every gesture.
_________________________
Life is pain, marked only at intervals in which the pain is less severe!
My Story http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8212#Post478212

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#486509 - Today at 01:06 AM Re: Questions about everyone's abuse [Re: iaccus]
smc1972 Offline


Registered: 10/17/14
Posts: 92
Loc: CA
Quote:
At the time of your abuse how many of you knew it was wrong ?

My abuse began when i was around 7. I did not know it was wrong I guess until I was around 12-13 but conflicted over that thought.

Quote:
At the time of your abuse was there physical or emotional abuse ?

I did not think I was being abused by it. I was never hit or yelled at growing up. Even as I was much older I could not admit I was abused.

Quote:
Were you bribed ?

i guess so in that I got a lot of stuff never went without. I think know it was cause of what was happening

Quote:
What other sexual things were happening around you ?


My parents openly had sex in front of me and talked about sexual things. Also porn was not taboo so was allowed to see it since I was young. I think that has caused me a lot of issues now.

Quote:
How many times do you think it happened ? How many years did this go on for ?

No idea. I had sex with them till 16 but even after I stopped porn was still on the TV openly when I would be home at times.

Quote:
Did you tell anyone

My coming here was the first time I have never told anyone I know not even when I was in therapy.

Quote:
Did you want it to stop ?

not till I was getting in to my teens but I still gave in to my desire to do things until I was 16 which I regret I did things when I should have known better.

Quote:
We're there fantasys you had during the abuse?

Not then

Quote:
Did u bury it or was it something that always bothered you ?

Denied burried whatever you want to call it. I still struggle with facing it.

Quote:
Did it change your ways on how you view relationships and sex ?

Yes but I am just know learning and realizing how much it has affected so many different parts of my life. Relationships and sex in a negative way is a huge issues I see now. [/quote]


Edited by smc1972 (Today at 01:07 AM)

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