The last intervention
January 2009 lunch has gone by, the phone rings. It's buggaluggs. Now 22, we'd meet online four o'clock one morning. He climbed into my car stoned just out of what I was to learn endless detox. Took one look at me with those pools of blue, took hold of my hand and said nothing, off we drove. That was just over seven years ago. He was funding his heroin habit as a street sex worker with the other boys, all former wards of the State. No available real estate on either arm for s.harm. He says on the phone, "I got my friend on, he's on the nod, can you come and get us please". Heroin addicts don't really have friends and sharing gear, I didn't believe him first. I was wild that he shared the needle. We argue for few minutes, I cave, "where are you ... don't move, I coming”. I said that few times to him before. I know Bugs like he's my own, lost his dad at nineteen.
I arrive at the scene, I'm not surprised there's a car park. The twenty year old on the nod leaning against the building wall. He was broader and taller than six foot me and three times my volume. Bugs got in the car, I'm straining all my muscles, he's in, buckled up, I shut the door. Got round to the back of my car and the heavens opened, I was instantly drenched, being looked after.
Home, the still unconscious stranger in my home, in bed. Our day, Bugs and I went on. He went to work scored, got on. I collected him then the ritual thought the Golden Arches Drive Through, the obligatory chocolate Sunday. Home.
The next morning the big boy comes upstairs," who are you, where am I". Explain explain I go. Here's a towel, eat this first. Later he tells me he bailed from rehab, another teen heroin addict. The rehab facility was in another State four hours away. He'd meet Bugs at Front Yard, that's a one stop full service place where the tribe of young wild animals on the streets ebbs and flows from. I listened as the story unfolded and that afternoon, I decide to give him refuge for week, so he could make up his mind what he was going to do. I was already short of cash when he arrived. That afternoon I got him a SIM card and the next day I acquired a mobile phone on credit and put fifty dollars on his phone so he talk privately with his dad.
Four weeks earlier I meet a person online he had nothing and nobody having just become Christopher Columbus. We talk for 3 hrs and I say," I'll be your father if you do one thing for me", he responds with the most disillusioned what and I say with firm kindness, "you'll have to try your hardest". Try, he makes my heart sign. Four very traumatised people in a close proximity, a little stressful. We get through Wednesday funds are almost critical level as I need smoke to escape.
Thursday lunchtime my new house guest informs me' "I've decided to go back", asking me, "can you take to the bus stop tomorrow". "No. I make sure you you get there I'll drive you", committing myself to a nine hours behind the wheel. After dinner I had to pick my friend R up and take him to get a hundred dollars out of the cash point … petrol.
Early to bed. Sleep escaped me mostly and by four thirty in the morning I made it downstairs instructing to my new charge to have a shower shave and we'll head off. Friday's weather was good, overcast good driving conditions. Three hours into trip, my charge ran his father. Immediately his father didn't believe him. From the drivers seat, I'm firing multi expletives in the direction of the phone. Then it happened. The break through. The boy yielded, caved as such, made himself vulnerable and made up with his dad, tears and all. It was beautiful thing. After he hung up the phone, I volunteer "well done".
I reach across and put my left hand on his right shoulder I give it authoritative squeeze "you're heading in the right direction". He look he gave back was somewhat bewilderment clearly overwhelmed.
The rehab half an hour over the boarder was to bleak for the number clients present. Another injustice beyond me desire to intervene. Stretching my legs I got the tour. Facing me a revealed twenty year old looked calm and settled. My parting words "stay and complete, don't ever do this again, choose to do something with your life".
I took my leave and no sooner had I got out the gate, my phone rang. Like it had been staged. "The adoption papers are coming today" it was just those papers but the three questions he had to ask his new adoptive parent. As I progressed homewards I did battle with his chronic ADHD mind. I spoke every variant the language permitted, in such a way I sounded like one of each of the eight adults in his reference set from the orphanage. Lucky I'm a well equipped travelled complete with phone charger. I spoke for more than 300 kms to ensure the absolute necessary outcome. Remarkably as was pulling into my garage, the adoptive father was entering the room three states away. I say empathically "ask your three questions" and then belted out "sign the bloody forms”! I get a "bye" call terminated over four hours in duration. I was revealed to be home until I got upstairs.
It was like a bomb gone off, hundreds it's of clothes strewn everywhere. The dummy must have been the size of church bell. He launches at me, I respond with its your reckless irresponsible behaviour …… as we battle back and forth I realise he’s just projecting because he’s the problem and doesn't know how to act in this circumstance. Immediately after, me protesting, with scissors he busts a blade out of my razor disappearing downstairs. Later I come downstairs surprised at the collection of corpuscles. Sliding down next to him, shoulders touching, I hand him some toilet paper as I ask “did that help”, I got back “no”. I busted the bandaid out of its wrapper issue “arm” and apply the bandaid. Then I say, “get out, get work, get on, and don't come home till tomorrow. He left immediately, I went across the street and got some noodles. I sat buzzing but calm and quietly as I'm trying to eat. You know what the bugger did, he came home at 10:20 pm and asked me to run my fingers through his hair. This was a good exercise it helped me to calm down too. I had to put Bugs back on the street before. So he knew I was at the edge of my comping ability. Not long after I went upstairs to sleep. Bugs wasn't far behind me.
Three months later, I’m broke and out of food. I have to figure out the day of Nod’s intervention to search my huge phone bills. My call answers “ I’m guy who took your son in off the footpath”, I hear a swallow and nothing forth coming. “I calling to recover my costs three hundred and seventy four dollars”. He hangs up. He texts “send me your account number”. From the time I sent the sms to the time it took me to login to my banking the money was a there. Now I smile thinking of the gift I gave the big kid, plenty of stuff to tell his dad on the phone while he completed his rehab. We had adventure in-between.
This is an example of my full tilt rescuing behaviour. If I make you a commitment, it will be to the point where it will disadvantages me. I’ll deliver! I’ve intervened in hundreds of peoples lives. I’ve modified this behaviour and am trying now to help myself. Its hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Just because someone stumbles and loses their way,
does not mean they're lost forever.
Get out of my way I'm coming through on my own.
I'm coming through all alone