Newest Members
journey4two, VASurvivor, jayceemac, rwolf, FindingNemo
12328 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
cja (49), crackerjack (55), nursemanda25 (33)
Who's Online
2 registered (tbkkfile, journey4two), 16 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12328 Members
74 Forums
63403 Topics
443287 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#4861 - 09/09/02 03:13 PM Life Changes
Mark S Offline
Member

Registered: 08/25/02
Posts: 130
Loc: England
I can't believe how life can changes so quickly and so dramatically.

Three weeks ago I had decided enough was enough and that I couldn't take on the fight any longer. I had thought the hard work had been completed, coming to terms with my abuse, telling close friends and family, most of all telling my then girlfriend. Then bang she left me. I couldn't see a reason to continue. I spoke to my therapist and she helped me see that there were reasons to continue. My parents, siblings, nephews, nieces and friends would all miss me and after finally getting to really know them I would miss them (they have been brilliant and supportive redgarding my abuse which occurred whilst I was in hospital having brainsurgery. The perp being a male nurse who was supposed to care for me).

Then after going into a local bookshop, I noticed that a local Buddhist center was holding an open day. I went along with a friend, not knowing what to expect and I was pleasantly surprised. I spoke to a Nun about my abuse and she really seemed to care. She suggested that I started meditation classes. It's one thing to have your therapist tell you it wasn't your fault etc but to keep being told this by different people from all walks of life really reinforces it. The classes help, I'm much calmer, don't get me wrong I'm still having bad days and I still miss my girlfriend, but I'm so much more positive.

I'm now back on track, looking forward to starting a college course in two weeks, I hope to become a Therapist eventually, I hope it's not the blind leading the blind, but my therapist thinks I'll do fine, so I'm going to give it a go. I'm extremely nervous but I think that's heathy, I'm going to be meeting new people on mass, the first time I've experienced that since going into hospital.

Have other survivors found anything apart from thrapy that has helped them?

Well that's enough of my rablings. I just want to say there is a life out there for us as survivors and I can't wait.

Oh one last thing I promise. I've never been on a chat room and I'm slightly intimidated. Is ours easy to use, do you need to use special jargon etc.

Be good to yourselves. Mark S


Top
#4862 - 09/09/02 03:43 PM Re: Life Changes
ARW Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/02
Posts: 161
Loc: LA
Good news you're feeling better and hopeful, Mark. There's a lot of help here to aid the therapy, and I found Vipassana meditation to be extremely helpful. It's calming, teaches us to stand above our pain and examine it without judgement, and for me it helps to heal the past wounds a bit.
Keep at it all - your resilient attitude inspires.

_________________________
In every cry of every man,
In every Infant's cry of fear,
In every voice, in every ban,
The mind-forged manacles I hear.
-William Blake

Top
#4863 - 09/09/02 03:49 PM Re: Life Changes
ARW Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/02
Posts: 161
Loc: LA
Oh, and this may sound totally obvious, but one thing I only recently came to fully understand - after a serious crash and burn myself - is that we who've been abused tend to take every setback as a clarion call to "end it". The meditation may help you start to see life's rejections and failures for the natural and surmountable part of life that they are. I know it sounds like dimestore self-help malarky, but you really are worth your life, no matter what. And these difficult times, if examined appropriately - not over-reacted to - really give way to better times and growth. It really is true. Take it from one who was one step off the ledge only a month ago. I learned my lesson big-time that day. And life has been, while not always peachy, steadily improving.
lol.
Al

_________________________
In every cry of every man,
In every Infant's cry of fear,
In every voice, in every ban,
The mind-forged manacles I hear.
-William Blake

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.