H got drunk at a wedding a few weeks ago and I threw him out. He blew his wagon ride that started in 2008 after a suicide attempt that was the culmination of a two year bender. 4 days in ICU, reconstructive surgery, one resuscitation, a few weeks in trauma, and nine days in psyche apparently didn't make a lifelong impact on him as it did to me.
I'm not doing that again. He seems to be sober when he stops by but I know the drill. I did it twice before. I made it clear that anymore drinking would be a deal breaker and I meant it.
I don't mean to sound cold, but, CSA isn't incurable cancer people. You CAN get better. You CAN be who you always wanted to be. It is NOT terminal.
Adding a depressant to your PTSD is like playing Russian Roulette. H is worth more than that and so are all of you guys. There are other pathways to feeling better.