Larry, It's not wrong. It just is. The only wrong was what they did to you. Now you are coping...in the only ways you know how to cope. They are painful ways...most of us have them...the kind that we beat ourselves up for after we've done them, but can't seem to stop doing. I have them. My t has helped me understand them, but, so far, I haven't been able to stop them. They are not wrong, Larry. You are not out being a perpetrator. You are not hurting others. You are still being hurt by those who hurt that boy years ago. Find someone who will help you understand. Understanding will help you cope...will help you deal with what you're doing...in a positive way. But, what you're doing isn't wrong. What you're doing is still reacting, and it's not your fault. Bobby
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.