There is a fellow 'survivor' (I don't even know if he is one at this point) that I had been friends with. He broke my trust, severely betrayed me, and irreperably damaged the relationship. The 'friendship' has continued to 'limp along' for some months. Little contact. Occasional email. Because what can you expect in a friendship where one person has NO trust in the other? But I have honestly tried to forgive. And I can't do it. It's beyond me.
The last contact I have with this person, it is not pleasant. I accused him of doing the same thing that caused the problem in the friendship to begin with. I wasn't pleasant, I was quite rude. I admit that. And my suspicion is groundless. How do you confirm or deny a suspicion of someone through internet? It's impossible. But based on past history and behavior, I have my suspicion, and make my accusations.
He replies that I am pompous and arrogant to have such suspicion of him. Perhaps that is right. Perhaps it is pompous of me to suspect him of doing what he has admitted to doing before. Perhaps it is arrogant to suspect after previously dealing with months of deception with this person.
Then he say that because I no longer trust him, I have broken HIS trust. How the hell is that? HE is the one who ruined the friendship with HIS behavior. He is the one who betrayed MY trust, to a great extreme. Yes, somehow, I guess by allowing him to do that to me, I must have harmed him.
It sounds quite like an abusers way of thinking to me. Blame the victim. Blame the innocent person for 'making' you do this to them, and so causing YOU significant harm.
Perhaps I should go home, go to my old coach and apologize for making him hurt me to the point of putting a restraint order on him, and making police report. I am so VERY sorry that I didn't take his feelings into consideration, and how much of an interference it would be in his life to be looked at as a criminal. Yes, I am so very sorry.
A**holes. Both of them.