a month or so ago I had my 1st flashback during HC, it was so very shocking to me, now I've had a couple more centered around my abuse (sexual) around 1964-1966, in all of them I was like a 3rd party watching myself in them, powerless to do anything but watch, the 1st was watching myself walking into a classroom or dr. office couldn't tell, but the room was period in décor from that time, I could see a lot but not the perp's face he was standing there while I walked toward him, while watching I knew what was going to happen but couldn't do anything, thankfully it ended before the abuse started, I had such a feeling of dread my hands were shaking, heart beating like a trip hammer etc. really freaked me out....................2nd 1 I was naked outside kneeling down while 3 men stood over me clothed with their penises out peeing on me and in my open mouth making me swallow their pee, not sure if it was all together or 1 at a time ?...............3rd 1 was the worse I was watching what appeared to be a little girl dressed in shoes, stockings, dress, blouse blond hair (wig as I have dark hair) I knew though that I was watching myself at a gathering/party inside surrounded by adults male and female (I called it a perv party)I had a distinct feeling ? I was being passed around like a party favor for all to enjoy, again I saw no actual sex scenes but I knew what was going on as I watched myself in the room, I was about 6-8 years old in a foster home back then that's where I assume it occurred, all I know is how I was feeling in all 3 flashbacks. now I think I know why I have been doing certain things and couldn't figure out why (will get into them in future posts really cant just now) all 3 were very vivid so life like and real period décor, clothing etc. is this common ? for people like us ? thanks I hope I didn't cause anyone harm by posting this. btw im crying my eyes out now and its hard to type anymore so i'll end this.