I've take the first step to dealing with the abuse in order to have a better life by signing up for these forums.
Now I'm ready to tell my story. I grew up in a home and school environment where physical, emotional, and psychological abuse was common. I was not prepared to deal with what happened to me in high school. I was molested by my guidance counselor. Years of other abuse made me unable to resist it or tell anyone about it until recently.
The abuse had a terrible effect on me. I was just beginning to recognize that I was bisexual, but after the abuse I buried that part of myself. It made me even more withdrawn and afraid of any form of intimacy.
As I got older I turned to alcohol to drown the bad feelings. I started to act out my gay side destructively and engaged in risky behavior, including prostitution. I took a really bad risk, and I was raped by another man when I was an adult.
All these things made me a complete mess. I never faced them until I met a female friend who had a similar history. She made me comfortable enough to tell her about it. Once I did this I began to realize that I wasn't trapped in an endless cycle of silence, self-abuse, and self-hate.
I realized I couldn't change my past, but I could take action to make sure my past didn't control my future.
Thanks for reading my story.