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#48028 - 04/10/04 02:04 AM Re: NAO EXPOSED
theo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/28/03
Posts: 1122
heather,
you have no conception of what you did. you posed as a child who was being sexually abused and betrayed every man on this forum, every partner on the family forum, but more importantly, you betrayed every single child out there who is legitimately a victim of this heinious evil. i am a writer, and a researcher as well with many years of both under my belt, and i can tell you that no author would do what you did. getting into character? yes, that is valid part of the creative process. what is not valid is the emotional coercion you have wreaked across this forum and true victims currently suffering now. i know researching, and getting into the mindset of the characters, but this is done through legitimate research of real life accounts such as what you would read here. if you do not have the imagination to extrapolate the characters you are creating from the truth that you read here then you need to reconsider your chosen vocation. real authors and actors research and practice their characterizations where it is safe, and those with integrity and honor (which is most of them) would not under any circumstances subject an innocent to their act. what you did was morally inept. you took the truth of every male here on the site, turned it into a character, and solicited the compassion and empathy and tears of those who shared their life and journey with the character you portrayed. what will happen now that another child somewhere will reach out for help and be dismissed as a lie? that will not happen here because this is a safe place for true survivors. but what you did was betray the men here, our partners and families, but especially those children who are suffering from this right now. it is this kind of betrayal that keeps the lies alive about the extent of child sexual abuse. it is this kind of nonsense that allows those who harm children to keep doing it because no one would believe a child.

if nothing else, heather, think about this. how many children have suffered and were even killed because no one would believe them? how can legitimate victims be believed and protected when stupidity like your behavior here on the forum continues?

how many, heather? how many have died because no one would believe them? how many have suffered silently for years because no one would listen? remember their pain and their deaths next time you try to pull a stunt like this because it makes you just like the ones who did this evil to true survivors. how many voices were never heard while you played your stupid, stupid game, heather?

_________________________
journey well,
theo dewolfe

- It is gift, and gift will find its way
- I inherit through my choice. I build through my affirmation. It is through my freedom that I nurture, or fade into autonomy
- I was not given to serve life, but to embrace it

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#48029 - 04/10/04 02:19 AM Re: NAO EXPOSED
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
Okay. I have been lied to at this site before, by a person presenting themself as a fellow survivor with eery similarly past to me. That betrayal is still not 'gotten over' by me. That betrayal still affects some how I am with other people, here and in personal friedships sometime. I have just gone through what feels like worst week or more of my life, and I will not be polite.

Heather, if that is your name,

You lying, evil, fucking bitch. Your deception, and YOU yourself, astounds me. Your lack of remorse in your total bullshit 'apology' is so evident. You can not possibly be working at becoming a writer. Writers have intuition and common sense. Successful writers even have honest emotions. You are nothing but dishonest and false.

Unfortunately, at this point, I really have to come clean.

Yes, 'unfortunately' you were caught. You 'had to' come clean because a decent and intelligent man here who 'busted' you MADE you. Or you would have said nothing of this, just gone away.

(though I am still
a victim of SA).


That makes this even worse, IF it isn't also a fucking lie. You claim to still be a victim of sexual abuse, and can do this? That makes you no better than a victim of SA who then goes to become yet another baby raper.

So why pose? Why not simply come onto a message board and ask advice as an
author? That is a problem - most people when dealing with serious things
(such as SA, drug abuse, HIV and other issues that come up in the novel) do
not want to share with an author.


Did you even ask? Did you even bother to go through 'channels' to get information from people here without causing terrible pain and harm? NO. Of course not. Because that would have taken away from you the dirty thrill of acting out your character, and enjoying how others respond to him. Yob tvayu mat', khuynya.

The problem is, victims will seldom talk to authors, so our
only choice to gain information on sensitive issues is infiltration.


You are not working for the fucking New York Times, Heather, working on some Prize winning story exposing unfair labor practices. You are a failed novelist trying to justify a deception beyond imagination.

There was another reason - by posing as my character I was able to put the
feelings he has in the novel out there and see if they're genuine. Put him
to the test as a character - is he believable? I found out that he is and
that's important.


Yes. 'HE' was too fucking believable, wasn't 'he'? And what of the feelings of those you decieved to test your character? What of the emotions YOU have triggered, deliberately, to play your dam game?

I cried with you
guys, for you guys. I prayed for all of you. You men on the board are all
so strong and I do wish you all the very best in your recoveries and
healing.


I find this hard to believe. I find it difficult to believe you had any second thoughts about any of this, let alone to 'cry for you guys'. And pray all you want. My healing is not dependant upon your relationship with Satan.

I
know how it feels to be hurt and betrayed, it's not a good feeling and I'm
very sorry.


Oh, well, this makes it all better, doesn't it? I suppose next we should be forgiving YOU, for making you 'very sorry'. Wench.

I promise that no one's name will be used in the novel, I also will not
quote any specific person word for word and no one else's survivor stories
will be written in there either.


Heather, THIS should not even be a factor. How dare you use ANYTHING about ANYONE here in your dam novel? Why the hell would anyone here believe anything YOU promise? I am running out of the expletives I would use for you, because the one that is coming most to my mind I KNOW would not be allowed here.

I won't ever post here again but I can't promise that I'll never infiltrate
another message board. Unfortunately, it's just part of the research job.


And here is the final line of the joke. 'Oh, I'm sorry (yes, sorry I got caught) for all the hurt I caused. But, of course I'll do it again. It's all part of the 'job', so how could you possibly be angry with me?

My job is as a sport coach. I was abused by my sport coach. Physically, sexually, beaten, raped. But, I became a successful athlete. So I suppose that was all 'part of the job', part of his training regimen, you think? Maybe that is what I must do to be a successful coach. (No, I am not that stupid or evil, I am just making the point).

I ask that no one attempt to contact me.

Oh, dam, just when I think I have new pen pal.

If any of you one day pick up my novel I hope you will be able to
recognize the valuable information contained within it and that you will
feel even slightly happy that you may have helped someone begin to heal.


I help someone 'begin to heal' by being a part of this site, responding as much as I can and as best I can. I do not need you and your subterfuge to make me feel 'happy' for helping other survivors. How fucking condesending can you be?


Okay, it is time I think for me to exile myself again. Obviously I was not ready to be let loose yet.

Leosha

P.S. Andrei, is good to see you post, even if is only once at this.

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#48030 - 04/10/04 02:28 AM Re: NAO EXPOSED
yesac76 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/23/04
Posts: 508
Loc: Idaho
I am speechless. I was kept awake worrying for a young man who doesn't esist?!!? That is messed up! I am hurt and feel violated.
I hope that woman can feel good about what she did, and may God forgive her.
But, I will not let this affect how I respond to my brothers here. I have come to far to let some liar take me back to where I was before. My brothers, we are too strong to let her break us!

_________________________
"You live it or lie it" Metallica

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#48031 - 04/10/04 08:03 AM Re: NAO EXPOSED
Caetel Offline
Member

Registered: 11/05/03
Posts: 322
Loc: Paris, France
I can't believe it ! First I want to thank Ken for being so caring and careful.
I feel betrayed, abused and used ! A lot of horrible things have happened to me on the French website where I am a member and things got out of hands last week end. I really really did not need this.
I have shared intimate feelings about mutilations and stuff like that, also about my own experience as a survivor.
What the fuck did you think you were doing ? Making money out of people suffering, using them to make your life more comfortable ? Please go and deal with your own frustration on your own.
I am a woman trying to get training to be able to help male survivors. The issue of trust is very important. Today you created a confusion in the mind of a few members here that could in the future associate a woman with the idea of betrayal. You destroyed a little bit of my work too. It is hard enough for male survivors to come forward and say "I am a victim and I need help", if you had started your research with trying to understand their pain instead of using them you would have though about the best way to approach such a research. But know, you were selfish and just though about your own success ! And by the way I DON'T EVER want to have your book shown on this site. This is an insult to all of us here. You should show a bit more humility !
Guys, please don't mix that horrible woman with other women who are HONEST, CARING, RESPECTFUL and LOVING.
I am with you guys 10 000 %.
With love and blessings
Your brother, Caetel

_________________________
Mitakuye oyasin ! We are all related !

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#48032 - 04/10/04 10:48 AM Re: NAO EXPOSED
MikeNY Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/07/04
Posts: 927
Loc: NY
"Heather", if you are actually a survivor of any kind of abuse then I think that you are in dire need of real direct professional psychological help. It is obvious that you have major trust issues that need to be addressed since you cannot even have the decency to ask people to help you before you just automatically start to deceive people. It also appears that you are having major identity problems. That is obvious with your multiple personality disorder that you are acting out with.

Good luck with your recovery.
Leave us alone with ours.

_________________________
"Every child asks the questions which hold the answers to the secrets of the universe, WHAT?, and WHY?". --Me

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#48033 - 04/10/04 11:58 AM Re: NAO EXPOSED
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
Ken,

Thank you for posting this. However hurtful, this was necessary.

"Heather"

I don't even trust that this information is real. You LIED. You LIED to ME personally. How can you do this when you are a survivor yourself?

Your apology is NOT ACCEPTED BY ME!

You GODDAMNED LIED to me. You LIED to EVERYONE HERE and you PLAYED US FOR FOOLS!

I CAN'T ACCEPT YOUR REASONS! They aren't noble if they're built on lies!

I BELIEVED YOU! YOU BETRAYED ME!

Just another liar. Just like my abusers.

Scot AND THAT'S MY REAL NAME! I'M NOT HIDING LIKE YOU WERE!

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#48034 - 04/10/04 12:20 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
Andrew Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 1192
Heather, or whatever your name is, no one really cares. Your excuse is so much bullshit. You could have easily 'made' a believable character by just reading the postings and taken a little from several stories and made up a composite. Instead you chose to indulge yourself in a sick charade and therefore hurt several people at MS. What you did was shameful and I am very sad for you. You obviously crave attention. Please seek out some therapy for yourself. Peace, Andrew

_________________________
there is no courage without anxiety

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#48035 - 04/10/04 12:35 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Ken it is remarkable men like you that helps keep us all safe. THANK YOU111

Heather:

Do you know what a perpetrate means:

To do or perform; to carry through; to execute, commonly in a
bad sense; to commit (as a crime, an offense); to be guilty
of; as, to perpetrate a foul deed.


A perpetrator is someone who does something or causes it to be done that is harmful to another or a group of others. Sexual predators are perpetrators and you are certainly in that group.

Your very deception has caused many of the great guys here to suffer a bad bump in their recovery. But they are truly great men, young and old, and will continue on this road.

Now sexual predators accomplish their tasks in the same manner you have accomplished yours; by deception, misdirection, concern and making others feel wanted.

I really believe that from your actions you are not a survivor of a predator but in fact are a PREDATOR IN THE WORST SENSE.

MAY YOU ROT IN HELL. IF THEIR WERE LAWS AGAINST SUCH AS YOU I WOULD PREFER YOU SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE INCARCERATED. BUT YOU ARE TOO GODDAMNED SHALLOW TO UNDERSTAND THAT.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#48036 - 04/10/04 12:53 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
theo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/28/03
Posts: 1122
i was wanting to post something further on this thread.

ken,
i want to thank you personally for your work and dedication to us and other survivors out there by diligently pursuing this. the fraud she committed will have repercussions for a long time and will reinforce the sense of betrayal and lack of trust already suffered by many of us here. thankfully, though the pain is great and the violation even greater, we are still here as the brotherhood and the community of survivors and their loved ones who are able to share this difficult journey. this thread is going to continue to be very heated, but i want to thank you, ken, for posting this and allowing us to respond.

i am amazed at the response of compassion that still is so evident for those of us here who are still responding to each other elsewhere on the forum. this moronic behavior of a very sad and emotionally stunted person will not prevent me from continuing to reach out. andrei, i echo leosha when i thank you as well for not only responding to this thread, but also for still sharing the journey by comiing here. that is courage, my young friend, and i am proud to know you for the courageous man you are.

caro, i will not allow this sad person to distort the perception of the wonderful women who have shared their journey's with us and their survivors. i will not allow it to influence my response to lady theo. i will not allow this sad person to drive me away from the friends and fellow survivors who have shared their journey of truth.

_________________________
journey well,
theo dewolfe

- It is gift, and gift will find its way
- I inherit through my choice. I build through my affirmation. It is through my freedom that I nurture, or fade into autonomy
- I was not given to serve life, but to embrace it

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#48037 - 04/10/04 02:00 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
Wifey1 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 380
I could not believe what I was reading when I clicked on this post this morning.... feeling, sad , confused, betrayed and down right fucking pissed off and angry that anyone who CLAIMS to be a survivor of sexual abuse could not only THINK of fabricating such bullshit but to actually USE it to HARM those who have already been harmed in the WORST of ways! "Heather" I doubt that you are any kind of a survivor but I do believe that you need serious mental health help.... GO FUCKING GET IT!
I came here to support my HUSBAND!!!!! I CAME HERE FOR SUPPORT FOR MYSELF DURING THE TORRENTIAL WINS AND LOSSES OF BEING A SURVIVOR AND A PARTNER OF A SURVIVOR!
I shared the "poem" that was written with my Hubby --- you fucking bitch! YOU BITCH!! Your're NO BETTER THAN HIS BITCH C**T of a mother and his abusers who hurt him!
You're NO writer -- YOur just someone out to stir up trouble and make problems for very real PEOPLE AND FEELINGS -- nothing is safe and nothing has been safe for anyone who is a survivor to be able to tell the horrors of what our partners live with or survive with

GOD DAMN YOU!! WHAT IF SOME VERY REAL CARING PARENTS HAD COME HERE TO READ YOUR FUCKING LIES AND THINK YOU WERE SOMEONE THEY COULD IDENTIFY WITH? YOU WOULDNT HELP THEM --- YOU WOULD BE RAPING THEM AND THEIR KIDDOS ALL OVER AGAIN YOU FUCKING BITCH!
IF YOU TRULY ARE A WOMAN I AM EMBARRASSED THAT YOU ARE! ASHAMED THAT YOU ARE!
I have had a hard enough time dealing with the after effects of my hubbys abuse and you and your fucking lies have had the ability to not only set his healing progress backwards but our families too.....
YOU'RE NO SURVIVOR OF SEXUAL ABUSE IF YOU WERE NOT ONE OUNCE OF ANYTHING IN YOUR SELF WOULD HAVE ALLOWED YOU TO MAKE SUCH A BULLSHIT MOVE TO INJURE SO DEEPLY ANOTHER SURVIVOR.
I am sure your snickering to yourself that you were able to disrupt and create such attention to yourself with your fucking story....
PRINT OUT EVERYONE OF THESE RESPONSES AND PUT THEM IN YOUR POCKET WHERE YOU KEPT THE CHANGE TO MAKE THE PHONE CALL TO KEN TO "COME CLEAN"... READ THEM EVERY DAY AT LEAST A HUNDRED TIMES THEN GO AWAY AND READ THEM SOME MORE!

**its no wonder so many men have had problems with females posting on this site, this supposed female just proved yet again WHY**
If there is a way to take legal action against this supposed "heather" please find a way to do so -- "she" already states that she plans to INFILITRATE other sites such as this ---
yes this may be the freaking world wide web, but when a survivor is in a position of reaching out often for the very first time to expose long held secrets there surely must be some way of protecting the "innocent" during times of great stress.
"SHE" got found out -- please who ever is in or has the ability to find the info of where she was posting from please do so... contact what ever authorities it is needed to press what ever charges may apply --- I thought it was against the law to pose as someone else or steal someones identity? or to create a false identity?
**in any event if she is just plain mentally ill she needs serious serious help**
I'M SO FUCKINGMAD I AM SPITTING NAILS.... SO MUCH WORK, WORRY, TEARS **** REAL TEARS!!!***
ALL TO FIND OUT THIS BITCH IS A PERPETRATOR!!!
AND isnt there some freaking law that says the media or someone who represents media/ writer MUST DISCLOSE that fact ????
DAAAMMMMNNNNN IIITTTTTT!!
I cried for that "character" because that "character" is my HUSBAND YOU FUCKING BITCH!! HOW DARE YOU ABUSE HIM AGAIN! I HOPE YOU FUCKING ROT IN THE HELL YOU DESERVE!
I HATE LIARS!
Wifey1 - Sammy
WHO REALLY IS A SURVIVOR AND A PARTNER!!!


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