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#48017 - 04/09/04 09:36 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Ken is a great guy, and I am thankful that he is my therapist. Its worth every minute of the hour drive each way that it takes to see him.

_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#48018 - 04/09/04 09:50 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
I have not posted here in few months. I may not again after this post.

I do not come here so much. I finally started returning to chat room, after not even going there. I think there are enough bad things that happen to us, as people. I think we have been lied to and betrayed as people. To think of it, we all have had people in our real lives as 'characters' before. We all have had to face those who are not honest with us. But to be betrayed by someone in 'character' as fellow survivor, that is a very painful thing.

I know that you and I do not know each other so well as others here; well, that I did not know you at all, of course. But we have talked in chat room, and I have felt protective of 'you'. I am new with this, I am still very confused with this and having very hard times with this, but I never talked of that with you. I always felt need to protect you from how I truly am doing or feeling. I did not want to be burden to a child. So I beg your pardon, I suppose I was not honest with you also. Only, I was trying to help you. You had chosen to present yourself as a scared, pathetic, and sometimes stupid, young boy. I think the lies of one are worse than the other.

I was talking in chat room last night, not of forgiveness, but to be aware. To be aware of how better we are of the people who abused us. Of how we have choices, of how we are able to have good lives, because we are not trapped by our evil, we can know and appreciate love, and they never will know that. How we have the strength, and how they are to be pitied for the lives they make for themselves. I feel that for you now. I will heal from the abuses, including your abuse of trust. I will one day find peace and happiness in my life. You must carry your lies and behaviors with you. Even now, even with bad memories and losing sleep, even with not being able to eat, right now, I would rather be me than you.

Andrei


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#48019 - 04/09/04 09:55 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Guys.
A lot of this action took place on the Family & Friends Forum where support for "Nao's family" was everything we've come to expect from that extraordinary group of Partners and Friends, their feelings of betrayal must be as bad as ours.

So I've asked them to come here and read the 'explanation' - and although we usually discourage the ladies from posting here I hope that we can make an exception in this case, their voice deserves to be heard as well.

Thanks for your support.
Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#48021 - 04/09/04 10:25 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
Rod Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/04
Posts: 10
Loc: Salt Lake City
Ok... Now that I've calmed down a bit, too, I have something important to say.

I am probably unusual in this, but I WOULD HAVE SHARED EVERYTHING ABOUT WHO I AM WITH AN AUTHOR WHO REQUESTED SUCH SHARING HONESTLY.

You could have used my name and the actual details of my story.

But not now.


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#48022 - 04/09/04 10:37 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
Marc - I've only been here for around 4 months & it's the first time that anything like this has ever happened that I am aware of.

Please do not give up on us so soon.

It's been a life saver for me...1 numb bad apple v close to 1800 hundred good ones.

Life starts again here!

Best wishes ...Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

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#48023 - 04/09/04 10:41 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
ScottyTodd Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/12/03
Posts: 1561
Loc: Pennsylvania
Hey guys - I am beyond pissed at the crap she pulled. I too feel betrayed by her...used...wasted time, emotions...the whole nine yards. HOWEVER, I can't let her insanity affect my response to male survivors needing help. It's like being a lifeguard at the beach. Whenever someone cries for help, I'll jump into the water and give what help I can. If they are "just playing"...sure I'll get mad!!! But, the next time someone yells for help, I'll jump in again. Why? Can I believe I can judge who does and doesn't need help? Can I sit by and refuse to help a "brother" in need when I know how it feels to be drowning and feeling like you just can't make it for another second? Sometimes I may get "played" but for every chance like that, the call could be real - the need sincere - my words crucial for their hope to hang on and keep fighting...you are not alone! That's just how I feel and one jerky lady is not going to make me change my mind!

Howard

_________________________
If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd

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#48024 - 04/09/04 11:07 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Heather or whatever your real name is,

Your level of betrayal is as deep if not worse than the perpetrators that have sexually abuse and assaulted us. There is no excuse for it, especially the lame one you provided. To pry at peopleís emotional wounds as they are trying to heal matches those of the perps. Yours was so deliberate and planned, as them. You are a perpetrator, in the full sense of the word.

Your so-called apology, I will call it that for the lack of a better word because it was not an apology, is despicable. It lacks any remorse whatsoever. The only thing you are sorry for is the fact you were figured out. To go on to say that you will do this to another site shows how sick and demented you really are. Have you learned nothing? To be stupid once is, well, somewhat forgivable as a stupid unthought out act; but to do it again shows how manipulative you are and the lack of decency you have, even at the most basic level.

As far as your book goes. I will not wish you luck. If it does get published, I will not buy it. If you go on a publicity tour, I will be sure to call in and make it known how you are a manipulative scruppleless <>.

There are many people, that are emotionally ready, that are willing to talk about their sexual abuse, their drug usage, their HIV/AIDS, and their whatever. All you have to do is ask and be honest, I donít know if that is a word you even know the meaning of. These books that are in the library you refer to were written by people that have been up-front and honest. I hope someday you will learn the meaning of that and incorporate that into your life.

The abuse of child, no matter if it is sexual, physical, or emotional, is a despicable act. Just like the one you performed. Abuse of children raises my ire to levels you can only imagine. The abuse of the abused, like you did, does too.

The guys come here to help them along their journey healing. To get support where sometimes none exist. Many are in fragile states. Trust is one of the big issues. The inability makes some of us retreat into ourselves and life in general. Your display here has betrayed the trust of all the members and guests here, some of which were just learning to trust. I donít have the word to describe what you did in that regards. Just know that they would not be pleasant.

I do not believe you, or even if you are deserving of any belief, in that saying you are dealing with your abuse issues. As we have talked in the chat room, be honest with yourself. I hope someday you will find yourself and learn to be honest with yourself and others.

The guys here all deserve genuine support and caring, as I hope you have seen. Their pain is real, unlike your Naoís imagined and fictionized abuse. They deserve the utmost respect and compassion. I hope you live up to your word about how you will treat their stories and identities.

I hope someday you will learn,
Bill


To the guys here,

Keep up your strength and do not let this derail you desire to work through this. You are too valuable to let this or anything let you not to find the happiness, joy and love you deserve.

Take care,
Bill

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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#48025 - 04/09/04 11:49 PM Re: NAO EXPOSED
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
I'm with Rod on this one. You would have gotten the same story from me as an author; actually, you would have gotten the whole story rather than the one appropriate for minors.

Howard is also right, I too will help the next person that needs help.

Thank you Ken for all the hard work, I still have faith in the site especially with the new safeguards in place.


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#48026 - 04/10/04 12:24 AM Re: NAO EXPOSED
Little_E Offline
Member & Volunteer
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 11/14/02
Posts: 169
Loc: London UK
I am lost for words! I am hurt! Ur a Bitch!... I dont think i can comment further on this!! AARRR!!

_________________________
If your not livin on the edge your taking up to much space!

DISTUBED VISIONS OF AN UNDERWORLD!!

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#48027 - 04/10/04 01:25 AM Re: NAO EXPOSED
MikeNY Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/07/04
Posts: 927
Loc: NY
Ken, being a network engineer, I can tell you that if a crime was committed, it is possible to track her IP address directly back to the computer that she used for doing this. I do not know all of the applicable laws, but I'm willing to bet that this is a crime that she can be prosecuted for. Also, there has been a major push toward prosecuting internet crimes lately. Heather, if you would like me to, I'll WRITE to you when you are in jail if they are able to prosecute you. If not, there is always the option of the aplicable lawsuit concerning her wonderful book if and when it comes out. Whichever the case is, I believe that MS appears to have a valid legal reason for finding her through her IP address. Plus, the phone call is traceable most likely to a nearby location. When combined, the two should be sufficient for finding "Heather". It should also be possible to find out what IP address(es) "Heather" is using and block them from this message board.

_________________________
"Every child asks the questions which hold the answers to the secrets of the universe, WHAT?, and WHY?". --Me

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