Newest Members
DougieB, sethpeterson, R Ellis, SailingAway, Kitty6
12320 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
iwishicared (41), Scott Oliver (53), TutDaVinci (32)
Who's Online
5 registered (pattom, Obi, GT13568, randombreeze, 1 invisible), 13 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12320 Members
74 Forums
63370 Topics
443127 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#47996 - 06/30/03 07:11 AM Startle Reflex: How Do I Cope?
uncertain Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 22
Hello everyone,

If I am duplicating a thread that already exists, please let me know. This is an issue for me lately and it is getting disturbing, if anyone has any coping mechanisms I would appreciate hearing about them.

As I mentioned in my first post here, I do not have any memories of abuse, other than being bullied as a kid in school. But I know there has to be something else... recently I discovered that my brother was sexually assaulted as a child by a few relatives. Since I found out about this, I have been plagued with distracting thoughts, sadness, depression. And my startle reflex has gone out of control, particularly at night when I am sleeping.

I have a houseguest staying with me for a few weeks who has pointed out that I really need some help for this. It is embarrassing and more than anything, troubling. Any slightest noise while I am sleeping or on the verge of sleep - i.e., creaking floor, wind blowing a window open etc - makes me jump in my bed, and yell so loudly as well as gasp as if a murderer has just entered my room. It feels like someone is going to kill me. I don't remember ever being this bad, and now I am having trouble sleeping because I don't want to scare my friend. I must wake and yell at least once or twice an evening.

I can't pinpoint why this is happening, but it's been triggered by my brother's revelation of his abuse.

There are a few images I remember: One, of two older boys bothering me on a swing in a schoolyard; I remember being carried and being very frightened, maybe thrown on the ground, other than that, I can't remember. Another image I have is of being at a friend's house when I was 5 years old, playing with my friend and his father, then the next thing I knew I was crying, the father seemed angry at me, and I crawled home on the sidewalk because my leg was in pain; I spent the next two weeks in the hospital. During that stay, I remember being bathed abusively (not sexually that I can remember, but I was crying and struggling) by a very angry nurse.

Between ages 8 and 12 I suffered from constant constipation and bled profusely every time I went to the washroom. Is this normal?

My mother always just said I was a sensitive child. Could this be the source of my problems.. just a personality glitch? I don't think so but...

Anyway, just some of my thoughts. I have been doing more reading here than posting, and see so many of the same things that I am going through. I don't have anything else to say, just wanted to share.

Thanks for listening.


Top
#47997 - 06/30/03 10:54 AM Re: Startle Reflex: How Do I Cope?
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Quote:
Between ages 8 and 12 I suffered from constant constipation and bled profusely every time I went to the washroom. Is this normal?

My mother always just said I was a sensitive child. Could this be the source of my problems.. just a personality glitch? I don't think so but...
Hell no it's not normal! My mother & grandmother used to tell me stuff like "You have a nervous stomach," or "It's just growing pains," or
"You're too sensitive". What a load of BS!

Uncertain, those images came from somewhere and you're having them for a very good reason...

No doubt your severe startle responses relate to these images and the fuller picture behind them...

My startle response has not been as bad of late, and mine is more when I'm awake than asleep. Like seeing things suddenly out of the corner of my eye
or hearing any sudden noise, and jumping half out of my skin.

What has helped me is body relaxation & exercise techniques, being in water, massage, meditation, anything to help me relax & focus...

For some info that might be helpful see these:

http://www.gregswensonphd.com/anxiety.htm#10 (especially the last section of the page)

http://www.forests.com/lacope.html

Hope some of this helps...

victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

Top
#47998 - 06/30/03 12:33 PM Re: Startle Reflex: How Do I Cope?
blacken Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/13/01
Posts: 1217
Loc: Northern Ohio
uncertain,

"and I crawled home on the sidewalk because my leg was in pain; I spent the next two weeks in the hospital".
I would like to respond by saying...

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

un holy shit from Hell, man!!!

"Between ages 8 and 12 I suffered from constant constipation and bled profusely every time I went to the washroom".

Absolutely NOT normal!!

Aint no fricken doubt you have a startle responce. You have experience several truely Traumatic situations.

"My mother always just said I was a sensitive child". A cover for her own denile!

"Thanks for listening".
You have the RIGHT to explore your past and let free the trueth of your past. Don't worry about the "uncertainty" part of it. Just let it out. Part of the "process" is speeking our minds/thoughts/feelings & sorting it out later...

Blacken

_________________________
Everyone is a genius! If you were to judge a fish, by its ability to climb a tree,
it would think it was stupid all of it's life.
~Albert Einstein

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.