I wrote this when I had been here for a few months. I still think it defines what we are and here for.

He was born
He did not ask to be born, had no control over the genetic makeup which should govern him in life, had no say in who he would be borne to

He was born

And like all new borns he was clean and pure. And like all he reached out for the love, learning, joy, belonging and everything else that defines the human condition.

At some point, early or late, a terrible evil descended on him and shrouded him in a slimy stinking morass that was so inhuman that it attacked the very core of his essence; his humanity and sense of self worth.
The lens through which he viewed the human experience was cracked and soiled.
First his body reacted from the attack
And then his Mind.

His mind was totally rewired. All that was familiar and safe was gone.
Sometimes he retreated into madness to cope
Sometimes he became many
Sometimes he withdrew from humanity
Sometimes he attacked humanity
Sometimes he could not survive for long

These were coping skills
And in each and every instance these coping skills were self destructive
They continued to break down his human essence and his sense of self worth

He coped.
He existed in life if he survived
He did not live life

He sought healing
The road is tough
The road has many potholes
The sense of self worth is so badly damaged by now that it seems impossible to fix
But fix it he must
And fix it he will
For that is the human condition
He struggles, strives and perserveres
The IMPOSSIBLE JUST TAKES A LITTLE LONGER than he wants or wishes
He can heal and he will
Life is to be lived to its fullest in the human condition and he will become a full participant and will reach out for the love, learning, joy and belonging of that new baby of so long ago.

THE EVIL WILL BE DEFEATED

He will belong
He will have love
And most importantly
He will clear and fix the lens through which he views the human condition
His sense of self worth esteem will reassrt itself
He will be an example for the true stories of the babies yet to come

Why? I think that a boy who is left to deal with all of his crap that was never his.
He just gets to cement it into his life.
He looks into the mirror, what does he see?
Maybe he sees the boy he wants to be, but he dont know how to get there.
Life can be real hard, when an abused boy tries to make any sense of what he felt as a child, so the reflection in the mirror distorts the very image of himself. Sometimes the madness it too much for him to take, so he just goes back to hiding within himself,

so he cries,

ste

Mike - I can't believe that you were typing this, as I was typing a new post 'Strange Dream? Possible Trigger'.

You talk of newborns and what experiences they have suffered, but also of what an example each of us can be to babies yet to be born.

I speak of a dream in which it appears that my deceased Mother has handed the baby I was to the adult I am becoming - because I can now protect the younger version of myself.

What is even stranger, is that I believe you do work with both offenders and victims/survivors - your post is significant and strange at a time that I am actually taking my abuser to court.

Sometimes, I suppose some paths are just meant to cross.

Also I believe that you are religious and I am not.

Thanks Mike - I believe that there is some order within the madness of this universe.

Best wishes ..Rik

*I know that your values would prefer that I could forgive my abuser, but he still does not admit guilt. His denial means that I am not in a position to forgive.

Mike
I would hazard a guess that you wrote that when you were still in the earlier stages of your recovery?

But it's absolutely spot on, I can see so many truths in that post. It's still relevent.

Dave