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#47862 - 04/09/04 11:10 AM Re: Too much. Too fast.
MikeNY Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/07/04
Posts: 927
Loc: NY
No, you are not finally losing it. You are finally getting it back, by taking it back.

_________________________
"Every child asks the questions which hold the answers to the secrets of the universe, WHAT?, and WHY?". --Me

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#47863 - 04/09/04 11:21 AM Re: Too much. Too fast.
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Marc,

I wouldn't say that you are loosing in. You did overwhelm yourself.

One of the big things that we need to learn and respect is our boundaries. What are our boundaries? What are willing and able to accept? This varies with all and within us varies along our lives and stages of healing. Whatever and whereever the boundaries lie, we must learn to respect them.

There is no set schedule of healing and you cannot push yourself through it. Pushing as you have seen can be overwhelming. You have held in so many memories and feelings for many years, none of us can relive them all in one night. Nor should we try. Set your boundary of what you can handle and respect that boundary and step back, relax and breathe. Take a break when needed. Respect yourself, your wants and needs.

Take care,
Bill

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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#47864 - 04/09/04 11:41 AM Re: Too much. Too fast.
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
Marc,

When this first happens, when you first start addressing these things, it IS overwhelming! You always have a tendancy to get hings moving and get going NOW! This is normal!

Now, it's also normal to crash. It's expected and you have to accept that it will happen from time to time. I'm crashing with alarming regularity!...:-)

Be gentle with yourself, Marc. Be patient. It's every natural to want to be fixed NOW! But the truth is that it will take time. I'm still learning, really.

You're absolutely okay, Marc. Things will get better. It always hard. Since my Mom, God rest her soul, worked in medicine, I compare it to getting a bad burn. You need to have it debreeded, scoured out, and disinfected. This part hurts like Hell, but once it's over, and the new skin is in place and beginning to heal, it gets better. It FEELS better, and you wonder how it was to be in pain.

Consider this early part "soul debreeding."

Peace and love, Marc.

Scot

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#47865 - 04/09/04 01:22 PM Re: Too much. Too fast.
phoster Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/21/03
Posts: 758
Loc: ohio
i think it is very easy to get carried away, especially when you first dive in. it is worse the newer you are to recovery too. you are more easily triggered, and dont recognize those triggers even if you know what they are. it takes time to develop a way of coping with those times better. just go slow, slowing down lets you digest things before they go as far. if you can catch it early, you can bail before it goes as far.

sorry that happened. i tend not to chat for personal reasons. the boards allow me a slower pace and more control i guess.

_________________________
compassion is a light even to the darkest soul

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#47866 - 04/09/04 06:37 PM Re: Too much. Too fast.
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Marc
we're adults trying to deal with childhood emotions, and it's only natural to try and run before we can walk. I know I did it and crashed out a few times.

Your 'speed' will come to you, and it's part of the learning and healing.
Don't beat yourself up, just learn from your new experiences ( they're NOT mistakes ! )

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#47867 - 04/09/04 06:47 PM Re: Too much. Too fast.
LupinIII Offline
Member

Registered: 02/21/04
Posts: 156
You are losing it...you are losing some of this crap out of your system and that is a good thing. Dude, there is no need to be ashamed of how you are feeling. This is a painful experience and it can be very emotional.

My case was incest...my mother...memories came to life about a month and a half ago and it is still hard..yesterday I wept like there was no tomorrow..i thought i would have a heart attack and die..but guess what...there was a tomorrow (now today) and we do make it through.

Be strong and now we support you.


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#47868 - 04/09/04 07:09 PM Re: Too much. Too fast.
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
Marc - whatever you think you may need to apologise for, I don't know - nobody here that has taken offence at anything I have posted so far (I don't think - if anyone has please tell me).

What you will find here is one hell of a lot of support.

Take it at your own pace ( I know it's a total shock to the system when you find a site like this - you read the postings and realise that so many people have so much in common with you...and you thought you were the only one, I know I did).

This is an excellent place....it will help you very much. Help yourself first, then when you are stronger, think about helping others.

Best wishes & some strength for the journey...Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

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