Why? Why the fear? I'm not a perp. Why should I be afraid that people might find out something bad happened to me? Would I be afraid if I had lived through an earthquake? Would I be ashamed of surviving a gun shot wound?
Why indeed, my brother! We don't ask for knife wounds or hurricanes (both of which I've suffered damage from), nor do we have much power over them;
so they are nothing to be ashamed of. How much more so with abuse where the power, and thus the shame, lies with those who abused us?
The sexual abuse is not who I am. It is one of the things that happened to me during my life. Many other things, some good (meeting my wife, becoming a father), some bad (more car wrecks than I care to count, life threatening episodes on the seamier side of numbing behaviors). But I am not made of those things.
Dang, Joe, you sound like me on all counts here! Anyway right on! The SA is not who we are, it is not any part of the substance of our beings. It affects us yes, but it is not us.
The way this latest auto accident is doing me in, especially with the abuse flashbacks it brought out, I need to hear that I am not made of wrecks becuz sometimes I sure feel like one!
I still don't feel the boy's pain. I still haven't cried for him. I got angry at Ernsberger, and your perps, when I read the replies to Blacken's post of the news story. So I still need work, but dammit, I will not live my life in fear!
Yes, Joe, it hurts to feel that pain (duh!) http://www.nonstick.com/sounds/daffy_duck/ltdd_182.wav http://tultw.com/pics/daffy1170.JPG
yet it is also very cathartic & therapeutic to do so. Be sure to have support around you & use your T. And don't rush or force it. But probably that little boy needs someone to cry for him--especially you!
You are hurting for others and that's important. Hurt for yourself too my friend...
Joe thank you brother for being an inspiration, for being here, for being...