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#47761 - 06/30/03 06:30 PM Re: TOPICS
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Quote:
They are the sides of a coin. One cannot exist without the other; we cannot value one more than the other.
Right Danny.

For me the coin is "Recovery".

One side is "recovery from"...

...the other side is "recovery to".

Two sides of the same Recovery Coin.

Both parts of the coin, so when you use the coin you use both, you work both. Really they are inseparable.

You can't really & truly just work on the problems w/o working toward solutions; maybe you can work around them. Nor can you get to the solutions w/o first knowing what the problems are you need solutions to.

The answers are important. So are the right questions. The right answers to the wrong questions don't help any more than do the wrong answers to the right questions--except as part of the process of trial & error which we hope to keep to a healthy or at least not too dangerous minimum level.

Starting to ramble (real shocker huh?!)... \:D

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#47762 - 06/30/03 08:10 PM Re: TOPICS
martin Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/08/03
Posts: 229
Loc: The Good Earth
I like the idea of a topic on developing intamacy, or maybe just ideas on developing positive supportive relationships, if that is not to general.

I find a big struggle with me is withdrawing away from other people, a defensive posture probably learned from early on. I think a lot of us deal with that.

Victor's idea is a good one to recovery from & recovery to.

Great posts though, thanks
Aaron.

_________________________
Its times like these we learn to live again,
Its times like these we give & give again,
Its times like these we learn to love again,
Its times like these time & time again.
-The Foo Fighters

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#47763 - 06/30/03 10:11 PM Re: TOPICS
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Wow, and now here I come along to share something truly profound.

I do math in my head to avoid thinking about the guy standing at the urinal next to me, or waiting in line behind me (like at a concert). I read that trick somewhere a few years ago, and it worked. Until I got stuck and couldn't think of a new multiplication problem to work on. 'Cause if I had already figured it out, it wouldn't work.

So I started looking for things around me, and I converted the letters in its name to numbers, then multiplied those numbers. And once I get a good stream going, I stop calculating so I might be able to use that word again. So, urinal is

u=21
r=19
i=9
n=14
a sucks, no help at all
l=12

Start multplying them in your head. It worked for me, and now I hardly have to use it. Good thing, too, 'cause I was starting to pick the same words all the time.

I'll be back to post some more in a minute. \:D

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#47764 - 06/30/03 10:35 PM Re: TOPICS
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Quote:
BTW, do you have obsessive-compulsive disorder by any chance? I mean, counting things and all.
WhyMe,

I've never had a professional diagnosis, but it wouldn't surprise me. Well, it wouldn't surprise my wife \:\) and so I'd have to accept that she's been right all along.

I used to drive myself crazy counting my steps as I walked. I even counted in different languages. I could fall back into that in a heartbeat if I'm not careful.

Actually, I've been footing the bill for the psychologist myself and never asked for an official diagnosis. If it were an insurance claim, I'd have some label(s) by now, probably including OCD, or I wouldn't be seeing her.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#47765 - 07/01/03 12:14 AM Re: TOPICS
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
  • Flashbacks
  • Aloneness
  • Using public restrooms
  • Fear of sex being diseased
  • Things to be thankful for
  • Where we go for support
  • Coping methods/more appropriate survival techniques we use
  • Goals
  • Combatting startle reflex/response
  • Healthy sex & intimacy
  • Developing positive supportive relationships
  • Establishing healthy boundaries


OK guys lots of good ideas here lets start some threads on them!

Joe,

Thanks for the formula now I gotta pee!

Why Me (and Joe)

I'm diagnosed OCD. Counting steps. Balancing evens & odds. Balancing the number of words with consonants & vowels. Mostly just "between myself"
Don't do this much anymore but its like Joe says not hard to fall back into...

Seems like for me a key has been keeping variety in my life and not letting myself get into that OCD rut too much.

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#47766 - 07/01/03 01:12 AM Re: TOPICS
jwh Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/18/01
Posts: 98
Loc: dallas, tx
Mike, this is a great thread that hopefully will lead to many more great threads.

Wow, it's amazing to hear how many of you have the "shy bladder" thing. I have had that at least since I was sexually abused. One of my tricks is to simply go into the stall and sit on the toilet; that way, unless there is utter silence in the bathroom and only one other guy in there, I can usually piss without any problems. If there is just one other guy in there, I just wait.

Have to admit, though, I resent doing this. I have felt so much shame in my life over simply not being able to pee next to other guys! But what can I expect? One of the things my abuser did to me after getting me to "rub dicks" with him one time when he was angry at me for not wanting to do so was piss on me and then laugh at me as I cursed him on the ground.

My biggest thing that I would like to hear about how others cope is something BT mentioned above, feeling arousal about my perpetrator. I will post my own thread for this.

Jeff

_________________________
"I've been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand... Could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man?"--Ian Curtis, Joy Division

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