On my path of recover I have learned a lot about love. It's huge. It's all about what it means to live versus just survive. I've posted about it before but I look back on it and think that was a report in the "fog of war" from the battle field. Now that I've had time to really think about it and do some living with it things feel clearer. Here's a philosophical quote about love that makes A LOT of sense to me.
"The essence of love is that what is ours should belong to someone else. Feeling the joy of someone else as joy within ourselves - that is loving."
I couldn't really do this for most of my life. My life circumstances and then my abuse closed this off to me. In the last three years I have been able to do this more and more deeply. It started with my fellow brothers here at MS. For me you guys can be the most loving group of men on the planet. That led to me being able to make friends that I now love and finally it's starting to creep more and more into my marriage.
I hope all those who are suffering like I was and had this stuff closed off to me are able to make there way here too. It's worth the struggle.