It's been a couple of months since CloudyFalls last posted on the forum. And the last posts were not at all positive or encouraging.
I've been at the lowest of lows several times in life so I know a little about depression and hopelessness. I know it's been said many times and in other places on MS, but it can't be stressed enough. When you get to the point that there's no way out, there's just no reason to go on with this miserable life, NEVER GIVE UP. you're not alone, YOU'RE NOT ALONE. As long as you have breath there's still hope, as long as you can say "I just give up," there's no need to. As long as you can realize all the voices and thoughts that come at a time like this are lies - there is a way through.
I say this to me, and to anyone else who needs to hear it, if you need help, PLEASE ASK.
It doesn't get easier - you just get better.