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#46934 - 05/16/05 11:19 PM Numbing out
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I numb out feelings, I did this when I was a kid.
I numb out hurt and i numb the pain.
I suppose my life, I thought was not worth being in, like some prison.
Yeah, I numb out sometimes because I have to, it is a way of dealing with past issues, and living in the World today.
It is a world of hurt, if I let it be, but hurt just gets numbed, but it not go away, not by numbing it.
Numbing out cause me pain, because its not the way I want to be, it is not the real ste, he has love of life, even through hurt and pain.
I suppose I just got to a point in my life where I thought there was no way out, like he dont belong here, but he has been there so many times before.
I suppose the numbing of the past should not affect him now, like he should not have to be that way. He enjoys his life what he has, like he was meant to be that way.
It hurt me that this just take another job away, so he goes to his doc, and he tells her that he cant carry on with work.
But hey, my doc understand, and she is cool about it. I tell her I cant be at work no more.
I told her about my abuse as a kid, and that I just cant take the stress of working, but she is OK with that, so she put me off with severe stress.
I dont need that label.
I just need to be me,
and maybe I dont know the real me, cos, I never got to know me!

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#46935 - 05/17/05 08:19 AM Re: Numbing out
Whicker Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/03
Posts: 117
Loc: Pastures of Oregon
Reality,

I am the opposite of numbing.
Within me, the feelings build and build, till they become 'ALL' of me, and I cannot deal/cope with them.
I SI (Self-Injury), to bring credance to my feelings. To 'Justify' their worth and validity.
I am sorry that you are feeling the way you do.
Know that it is your Mind/Soul, trying to help you through a difficult Path...

Be Well, and keep Posting. There are many good people here, and you can find help from their insight.

Whicker

_________________________
Esse Quam Videri
(To be, rather than to seem)

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