Reenacting his abuse......that is what my husband's addiction was about. Anonymous encounters with men and prostitutes. The story line was always the same with him being "taken advantage" of as in his abuse but now it is with him saying who, when and where giving him the power. At least that is what the therapists has told us and I believe it. From what I have read, it is a pretty common thing.
The uncertainty is what kills me too. An addict, even with years of therapy and 12 step, can relapse at any moment. I can't live my life waiting for the other shoe to drop so I choose, just for today, to enjoy my life and not try to worry about the future.
I am not implying that your husband is an addict, but my situation is pretty similar to yours in the behaviours so I hope some of this is helpful.