Newest Members
TheGreatWhat, MyNameIsPaul, serenity38, vivo, Laurie
12485 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
era1 (31), GregoryP (50), GregoryParcell (50), junior (54), KDW78 (36), nansogre (48)
Who's Online
2 registered (2 invisible), 24 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12485 Members
74 Forums
64147 Topics
447574 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#468929 - 08/14/14 05:36 PM Maybe its just me...
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6596
Loc: Never Sugar Mountain
Okay...I need help with this. I'm not criticizing the media and social status-quo. This is a genuine question/inquiry, but it does seem like a social issue extended to the media, and spread in real life.

I have great difficulty understanding and being comfortable with the concept of "cute," or "beautiful," or "gorgeous" when it comes to describing a child of either gender.

e.g.: "She has two gorgeous daughters" or "They have a beautiful boy."

My knee-jerk reaction with any such comment is to feel disgusted that an adult see's and describes a child as such. I think I equate it all to the adult saying that they find the child sexually attractive.

When I think about it, I've never interpreted such descriptions of children as anything but sexual.

So IS there a dimension of attractiveness that does not link to a sexual impulse or judgement?

I also have a very hard time with people stepping into the child's private realm where they describe a child as "beautiful, cute, gorgeous, et. al." If I were the child, I'd feel rather icky about it. A child cannot control how they look, and now yer calling him beautiful, handsome, etc.

I came across an example of what I mean. I gotta be honest with you, this example blows my freakin mind!! So is it my messed-up sociology or is this "okay?" I genuinely don't get it.


Britain’s Got Talent 2013: Gorgeous Irish boys Jack and Cormac wow the judges!


May 10th, 2013 by Lisa McGarry.
Screen Shot 2013-05-10 at 11.55.37

We always like a bit of the cute factor on Britain’s Got Talent and tomorrow night we are all set for our weekly dose of gorgeous.

SOURCE LINK
_________________________
Objects In Mirror are Less Than They Appear.

Top
#468936 - 08/14/14 06:58 PM Re: Maybe its just me... [Re: Still]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3516
Loc: O Kanada
same here.
i have a huge negative recoil when i see adults encouraging precocious behaviour in children.

kids with sexy provocative clothing makeup dancing or talking 'dirty' is not 'cute' or entertaining to me,
although i do realize that it is normal and natural
for children to imitate and copy.
this instinct should not be exploited.

i am thinking "toddlers with tiaras" and "baby beauty pageants" as prime examples, but i see it all the time in my job in show biz.
kids are a commodity, and the parents can be just as guilty as the predators lurking behind the scenery.

_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

Top
#468937 - 08/14/14 07:39 PM Re: Maybe its just me... [Re: victor-victim]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6596
Loc: Never Sugar Mountain
Originally Posted By: victor-victim
same here.
i have a huge negative recoil when i see adults encouraging precocious behaviour in children.

kids with sexy provocative clothing makeup dancing or talking 'dirty' is not 'cute' or entertaining to me,
although i do realize that it is normal and natural
for children to imitate and copy.
this instinct should not be exploited.

i am thinking "toddlers with tiaras" and "baby beauty pageants" as prime examples, but i see it all the time in my job in show biz.
kids are a commodity, and the parents can be just as guilty as the predators lurking behind the scenery.



I get that Toddlers & Tiaras trash. That seems like whoring-out the kids, but this instance, which is not all that unusual, we're talking about two boys in tee-shirts and jeans.

To me, the description seems very pedophilic...like you might here NAMBLA freaks talking this way.

_________________________
Objects In Mirror are Less Than They Appear.

Top
#468938 - 08/14/14 09:04 PM Re: Maybe its just me... [Re: Still]
kcinohio Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/06/12
Posts: 367
Loc: Ohio
Though "cute" isn't my favorite word to describe something in general, my feeling is if something can be used to describe puppies or a plant without sounding weird, then anything I read into it is my issue, not the comment. So, in my opinion, both cute and beautiful can be appropriate given context. In contrast, "gorgeous" does sound odd in the other contexts, so feel that one crosses the line. Likewise, even in a future context, "going to be a heartbreaker" sounds off-putting as well.

But, it helps to keep in mind that what I see as synonyms for alluring, enticing, or seductive are not what others might see. Someone might view "gorgeous" as one way, others might just think of it as something describing sunsets without any sexualized connotation.

Again, my hyper-sensitivity in some areas does not always reflect others' motives. In my opinion, there is more than enough outright victimization that happens if I am fortunate enough to have the energy and wherewithal to help with child protection efforts.

Top
#468948 - 08/15/14 03:46 AM Re: Maybe its just me... [Re: Still]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3516
Loc: O Kanada
i dug this up.

gor·geous
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English gorgeouse "very showy, splendid," from early French gorgias "elegant," from gorgias "headdress, wimple," from gorge "part of the wimple covering the throat, throat"
: having an impressive beauty <a gorgeous sunset>
Word History In the late Middle Ages many women wore a type of headdress--called a wimple in English--that surrounded the neck and head, leaving only the face uncovered. The word gorgias, from gorge, meaning "throat," was then the French name for the part of the headdress that covered the throat and shoulders. In time it also came to be used as a name for the entire garment. A beautiful headdress was so much the mark of a fashionable lady that gorgias then became an adjective meaning "elegant" or "fond of dress." Borrowed into English as gorgayse and then gorgeous, the word gradually took on the meaning of "beautiful" which it has today.

Full Definition of GORGEOUS according to merriam webster.

: splendidly or showily brilliant or magnificent


so, technically it can be used to describe a beautiful child,
but i have always felt uncomfortable with that word when someone uses it in that context.
however, merriam-webster cites this as one of their examples:
Examples of GORGEOUS

Your baby is absolutely gorgeous!


which i would never say, because it sounds sexual somehow.
probably because i always associated it with the word GORGE (intransitive verb: eat greedily)

so it sounds like saying someone looks good enough to eat.
it makes me think of hunger and lust.


it feels inappropriate whenever some adult, male or female, tells one of my daughters that she is gorgeous. yet people say it, and i hold my tongue.
the negative reaction sticks in my GORGE. (Noun: throat)


it is probably just my own triggers, so i ignore these thoughts when they intrude during social transactions.

Maybe it's just me...
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

Top
#468976 - 08/15/14 03:43 PM Re: Maybe its just me... [Re: victor-victim]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6596
Loc: Never Sugar Mountain
Originally Posted By: victor-victim
which i would never say, because it sounds sexual somehow.


That's the mode I'm concerned with. I see and think any all comment of a child's beauty et al., is a sex qualifier to some degree.

With a comment of "he's stunningly gorgeous," I interpret it as "so you'd bed him? He's hot? You want to do him?" It seems like someone is drooling over the child's appearance.

I realize via the way and frequency that these terms are used that I'm wrong, but I'll likely never get over that interpretation. And I've never been able to describe a child as such...not even agree with someone that "she's just beautiful." I can't even make a "mmm hmm" sound of agreement.
_________________________
Objects In Mirror are Less Than They Appear.

Top
#468979 - 08/15/14 07:09 PM Re: Maybe its just me... [Re: Still]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3516
Loc: O Kanada
agreed.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

Top
#468991 - 08/15/14 11:17 PM Re: Maybe its just me... [Re: Still]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 815
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Billions of dollars are spent by Madison Avenue brainwashing the world that sexual appeal is the most important thing in the world. That primary manipulation is then translated to cars, watches, clothes, shoes, locations, vacations... Why would you think it wouldn't apply to children. Think of the market for children's goods. What do you expect? It's not about sexuality. It's about power and control over beliefs, and how that translates into spending habits.

For me, consciousness is the only answer. That and breaking from the herd. And, I do think it is hideous to sexualize children. Their self-images and developmental processes have to be seriously distorted. Ill omen of things to come.

Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

Top
#468993 - 08/15/14 11:33 PM Re: Maybe its just me... [Re: Still]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3516
Loc: O Kanada
sexual exploitation disguised as
sexual liberation.
escape
from the tyranny of puritanism
and plunge
into the anarchy of permissiveness,
promiscuity and perversion.

and the pendulum swings...
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

Top
#469002 - 08/16/14 02:51 AM Re: Maybe its just me... [Re: Still]
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 282
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
The disgusting paradox of the media, sexualizing children on one page and on the next headlining the latest celebrity abuser, quite frankly it makes me sick.

Over here in the UK we had the Leveson Inquiry aimed at investigating an out of control press, its closing statement states the following

“The press provides an essential check on all aspects of public life. That is why any failure within the media affects all of us. At the heart of this Inquiry, therefore, may be one simple question: who guards the guardians?”
_________________________
To look up and not down,
To look forward and not back,
To look out and not in

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.