Newest Members
cricket1007, Nickie98, jahfree, Daryl X., tryintothrive
12496 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
joeybird (54), ladyinwaiting (46), txpearl (46)
Who's Online
2 registered (Jacob S, 1 invisible), 17 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12496 Members
74 Forums
64165 Topics
447758 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2
Topic Options
#468704 - 08/08/14 10:39 PM Re: So what IS Love anyways? [Re: gaatt]
fhorns Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 695
I'm so #2--Quality Time. And my wife says she's #3--receiving gifts.

I read this with an open heart last time---since it really mattered to her.

Thank you Victor! I could get her some plastic flowers tomorrow---she's allergic to most real ones, and I was getting real ones for her weekly, until I listened to her.

I found what it says is true. It's the thought that counts to her.

Top
#468724 - 08/09/14 04:28 PM Re: So what IS Love anyways? [Re: fhorns]
gaatt Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 124
Originally Posted By: fhorns
Gaatt: this could be a very lively topic in F&F.


Hi Fhorns,

What is F&F?


Here are a few books on Love that I've explored:
Osho: Love, Freedom, Aloneness.
Osho: Being in Love
bell hooks: All about Love
Deepak Chopra: The Path to Love
Barbara Fredrickson: Love 2.0
Daniel Ladinsky: The Subject Tonight is Love (Poems by Hafiz).

I once set up a men's group that we eventually called "Men for Love". I ended up bailing out when I found that my strong need for some kind of healing touch had no place with the other members. We were inspired by a quote of Rumi's "Your task is not to seek for Love, but to seek and find all the barriers you've built against it within yourself".

I wish I could find a woman who I could be close to. I did pursue the woman of my dreams and the result was so disturbing that I broke up with her out of fear of what I would do to her and/or myself. My need for a healing approach to intimacy with a strong foundation in non-sexual touch is intense and very difficult to find in my experience.

I posted my story recently. Thanks Fhorns for inspiring me to do it.

Sincerely,

"GAATT"
_________________________
"Love yourself and watch...Today, Tomorrow, Always." Buddha.

My Story: http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=468661#Post468661

Top
#468725 - 08/09/14 04:38 PM Re: So what IS Love anyways? [Re: gaatt]
fhorns Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 695
F&F = Friends and Family, here in MS

Thanks for the compliment :-) Your motivation encourages me too.

Top
#468727 - 08/09/14 07:39 PM Re: So what IS Love anyways? [Re: victor-victim]
gaatt Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 124
Originally Posted By: victor-victim
check out the book "The Four Loves" by C.S.Lewis.


Hi Victor,

I think I might. I've heard of this book before yet never read it. "God" language is a bit of a stretch for me, but I'll do my best.

In my understanding, Osho spoke of three kinds of "Love".
1. Sex: rooted in biology and basically selfish, but a necessary foundation energetically.
2. Love: Needs a partner and a willingness to embrace Freedom. Has no connection necessarily to biological drives.
3. Compassion: Is a state of being. Totally selfless. It requires no partner.

Thanks for the book idea.

Cheers,

"GAATT"
_________________________
"Love yourself and watch...Today, Tomorrow, Always." Buddha.

My Story: http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=468661#Post468661

Top
#468728 - 08/09/14 07:47 PM Re: So what IS Love anyways? [Re: fhorns]
gaatt Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 124
Originally Posted By: fhorns
Gaatt: this could be a very lively topic in F&F.


Hi Fhorns,

Yes, I suppose it might. (Thanks for clarifying F&F for me:-) )

I'm not very keen on a conversation there though. I have no family or friends that might be interested in such a conversation in a way that includes my reality. I'm very much on my own. You guys are it as far as unpaid partners in healing goes and you are already here in this forum.

I did ask if there were any mothers with a history of perpetrating incest in that forum and so far, no-one has answered. I'm guessing that if there are any lurking, they aren't writing.

Feel free to start one if you like though. You might get more out of it than I would.

Sincerely,

"GAATT"
_________________________
"Love yourself and watch...Today, Tomorrow, Always." Buddha.

My Story: http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=468661#Post468661

Top
#468731 - 08/09/14 09:11 PM Re: So what IS Love anyways? [Re: gaatt]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3550
Loc: O Kanada
i read your story. gaatt.
hope you feel a bit better now that you got that out there.
i know it always helps me to write my thoughts.
your story just goes to show how csa comes in many disguises, and yet still is as deadly as any concealed weapon. abuse of authority power and position by anyone whose traditional and sacred duty is to serve and protect causes massive soul damage.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

Top
#468795 - 08/11/14 01:46 PM Re: So what IS Love anyways? [Re: victor-victim]
gaatt Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 124
Hi Victor,

Thanks. Yes uncovering the effects of CSA has been very tricky for me and very confusing. I had the feeling I had a gun to my head for many many years without knowing why. That feeling disappeared when I started talking about myself as having been abused sexually in my youth by my mother.

The writing is helping me feel stronger and more strongly connected to healthy men like you and the others guys on this forum. I've found a healthy sense of community to be very elusive and difficult to create.

Thanks again for your support.

Sincerely,

"GAATT"
_________________________
"Love yourself and watch...Today, Tomorrow, Always." Buddha.

My Story: http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=468661#Post468661

Top
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.