every so often i come across these threads which explore our mixed feelings about forgiveness.
the concept of forgiveness was one of my major obstacles in life.
it was foreign to me, and i despised it.
i lived in a paradigm of resentment and revenge.
it was not healthy or happy.
but forgiving anyone for anything was not within my skill set,
and i certainly was NOT going to forgive my abusers or my parents.
"turn the other cheek" and "forgive those who trespass against us" were impossible to contemplate, and revolting to consider.
if forgiveness was included in the price of love, then love was too expensive.
so i lived without love and i told christ to get lost.
i no longer feel that way anymore,
and i have never felt better before.
everything changed for me in one single night.
that story is here.
i urge you to read it,
but i must warn you that it is full of triggers. http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...2551#Post432551
so, for me, forgiveness is not crap.
it transformed my reality.
i can only wish the same for others.
this is my truth.