After 10+ years without it, my wife was able to trust me (after years of drinking, infidelity, and porn) enough to restart a sexual relationship with me. This was just a start. Two middle-aged naked people kissing, touching, stroking, etc. No penetration, no orgasms. Still it was wonderful. Every touch was like an electric shock through my body.
I did not dissociate. I was able to be present, relax, and not be demanding or aggressive. Really, the idea of getting fully aroused, then not following through to completion was totally alien to me. When she said thats enough, we just held each other. I wanted to show her I was there for love, not just using her for my own satisfaction, or to prove my manhood. I was able to pull it off (no pun intended).
We still have alot of work to do on our relationship, undoing the damage I have done, but this was a turning point. Yay!
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to screamJoe Cocker