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#467768 - 07/18/14 10:40 PM SWEET Justice!
Still Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6424
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
*******Possible Trigger - Violence Result*******

Florida Father Beats Accused Child Abuser



I call him "HaHa." Look at you now HaHa!

FULL STORY AND VIDEO LINK
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#467771 - 07/18/14 11:26 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
jj78 Offline
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Registered: 12/10/10
Posts: 110
Loc: Midwest
I just saw this and was going to post as well. You beat me to it. smile

As a father I think I would likely have a similar reaction, especially given I am over-protective of my kids given my csa.

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#467776 - 07/19/14 02:02 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 188
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
The Fathers a better man than me being able to stop when he did
_________________________
Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter

J.R.R.Tolkien, The Hobbit

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#467881 - 07/22/14 10:19 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
unhappycamper Offline


Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 611
Loc: VA
I'd like to see a similar pic of the guy who got me, but I thino he was much older than this teen perp. I find it hard to see even this kid so beaten up, but fortunately, it sounds like he got caught early in his career.

John

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#467928 - 07/23/14 11:03 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: unhappycamper]
Still Offline
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Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6424
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: unhappycamper
I'd like to see a similar pic of the guy who got me, but I thino he was much older than this teen perp. I find it hard to see even this kid so beaten up, but fortunately, it sounds like he got caught early in his career.


I'll tell you John; Looking at your pic, know what happened...that's too much for me. I look at that avatar-boy and wish we could all end the perps career before it begins.
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#467930 - 07/23/14 11:17 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
just wondering...
is this guy guilty?

i have seen some terrible beatings inflicted on mistaken identities and false accusations and inflated rumours.

vigilante violence is a poor substitute for justice.
i have been part of too many lynch mobs and i have seen some seriously stupid attempts to punish perpetrators that went way out of control. many innocent people were hurt during these chaotic crowd actions.

just thought i would put that out there.

but if he is truly guilty, i feel sorry for him and his victim.
this beating did nothing to help the victim/survivor.
it may actually re-traumatize the abused child,
if they feel that they were somehow responsible for the beating of their abuser,
especially if they are still confused about their feelings toward the abuser and they are not "hot for revenge".

how would a child feel about this picture if he felt that he was to blame for this beating?
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#467992 - 07/25/14 11:53 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
here are some of my own personal experiences with vigilante justice.
warning triggers warning triggers

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8910#Post456902

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...2979#Post442186

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=456896#Post456896

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...76022#Post76022

and these are only the ones i have written about.
there are many more incidents (unfortunately i grew up in a lawless suburban subculture of violence), and i can honestly say that justice was never served in the name of revenge.
i wish i could say that the judicial system worked, but the police and courts failed to deliver justice either.

there are no simple solutions to this soul sickness.
i wish it was as easy as punishing the perpetrator.

i found a older thread on this topic, with some interesting perspectives.
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=182023&page=1

nevertheless,
all that having been said,
as a man,
as a father,
as a human being,
i still feel anger and a desire to hurt (or worse) these soul assassins,
whenever i encounter the results of their selfish evil deeds.
it floods over me.
it comes, then goes, as quickly as it came.
i used to revel in it.
wallow in it.
escalate it.
ruminate it.
suppress it.
express it.
indulge, engage, a surge of rage,
but now i recoil from that part of my soul.
it is a bottomless black hole from which i am emerging,
groping my way out of the darkness.
i have no desire to fall back.
i refuse to surrender to hate.
i will be the master of my own fate.


‘It is useless to meet revenge with revenge: it will heal nothing.’
- J.R.R.Tolkien

‘The old law of an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind.’
- Martin Luther King
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#468024 - 07/27/14 01:19 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: victor-victim]
Still Offline
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Registered: 02/16/07
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Originally Posted By: victor-victim
just wondering...
is this guy guilty?


VV, I'm not being confrontational or shoving you here. This is just a clarification as called for in your posts.

Whereas I called this post "Sweet Justice," it was for the arrest and eventual punishment of the rapist turd. The justice comes from the guy being caught...the boy's agony ending...one more perp off the street.

I'm not equating revenge to justice, or justice to revenge. Sometimes, halting a demon requires human nature. Human nature, in this case, resulted in a violent arrest of the turd.

Quote:
how would a child feel about this picture if he felt that he was to blame for this beating?


The kid knows. The kid disclosed YEARS of such abuse by this turd.
The father caught him in the act of f****** his son.
Thusly, the beating commenced. It was a human reaction as base as breathing.

No charges filed.

Perp admitted to this. Three years and the boy is now just 11.

The father was fully situationally licensed to send this guy to hell without fear of a criminal charge.

I really could not give a flying farg about the turd. I just know, as most here do, what this kid is facing from the next 70 years.

I don't see ANY of this case as revenge...not one molecule. He stopped a threat. He ended a rape earlier that otherwise. He ended serial abuse.

I know for a fact that I would not have stopped when this father did. I would have arrested the crime and eliminated the threat to the best of my ability.

Just this week, I went ballistic on a Govt Official who was leaning on my doorbell for 15 minutes while my daughter was home alone. She called me, scared, wondering what to do. He left before I got there, but he had left his card and a note in the door. I dealt with him rather directly under the supervision of my local Police Chief. He will not be back. A father's reaction...not revenge. Human-nature protection of their young should never be confused with revenge.

But revenge? Hell no....its not revenge. Justice and revenge are not even in the same law books. This is as clean a case of arresting a baby-raper as I've ever seen. Caught in the act.

I can't imagine the horror experienced by the boy and the dad. I care less than one electron about Mr Puffy-Face.
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#468029 - 07/27/14 02:58 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
i went and got some of the details of this article.

A Daytona Beach father beat an 18-year-old man unconscious after finding him sexually abusing his 11-year-old son early Friday morning, police said.
The father called 911 around 1 a.m. after he walked in on the alleged abuse.
When police arrived, they found R F (alleged perp) motionless on the living room floor, bloody and unconscious.
The father told investigators he walked in as R F was abusing the boy.
When asked if any weapons were involved, the father replied "my foot and my fist."
"I did what I had a right to, except I didn't kill him," the father said. "You are damn lucky, boy, that I love my God."
The father has not been charged with any crime.
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#468030 - 07/27/14 03:07 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
i am only talking about my own feelings.
i did not enjoy watching my rapist being beaten.
it made me sick. it scared me.
i believe it made my spiritual/emotional/psychological condition worse.
all the years i wasted on hatred and revenge fantasy did me no good, either.
i think it hindered and postponed my recovery.
that is just my own personal experience, reaction and opinion.

my apologies for not knowing the details of this particular situation.

i was triggered by the photograph and did not check the link to the story before i started asking questions.

catching someone actually in the act of committing an assault on any child,
especially one's own, could easily provoke a momentary lapse of reason and a violent outburst in any human with emotional empathy.

if suddenly presented with such a scenario involving my own son or daughter, i can honestly say that i would probably snap, and do something vicious, before i had a chance to calm down enough to think about the proper response. there is no way to predict how much injury i would inflict during my justifiably homicidal rage. it frightens me to consider what i am capable of.

i do know that i have never felt good afterward about hurting anyone,...
not the ones i hurt on purpose because i felt they deserved it...
not the ones i hurt by accident because i was reckless...
not the ones i hurt in anger when i lashed out spontaneously...
the only time enjoyed it was while i was doing it.

i always eventually regretted causing harm, and i was horrified by my own capacity to hate and hit.
the things i did made perfect sense during the temporary insanity,
and then, as i calmed down, the folly of my illogic would become glaringly obvious.

usually, by then, the damage was already done, and it was too late to do the right thing.

this subject strikes close to home for me.
it provokes much self examination.

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#468045 - 07/27/14 11:15 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
Still Offline
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Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6424
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
VV and All,

This movie deals with this very topic of "caught-in-the-act" reaction. We never truly know if the perp was actually a perp. Not gonna ruin the movie for you, but it is excellent and worth the time to watch.



Edited by Still (07/27/14 11:16 AM)
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#468050 - 07/27/14 12:24 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
there was also John Coffey...



the innocent character in the movie GREEN MILE that was "caught in the act".
he was beaten, arrested, imprisoned, tried, convicted, sentenced to death, and executed.

and yet in real life, often the guilty can not even be accused or identified, for fear of legal backlash.

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#468068 - 07/27/14 03:58 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
Still Offline
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Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6424
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We just had a likely false-accusation at a local school. I know a bit of inside info...enough to know I will never be alone with any minor (other than my kids) ever. Avoiding that situation still would not have gotten this teacher out of trouble and life-devastation. There was a witness present and they were never alone. It was basically sarcasm gone wild. 50-yo teacher...done for life!
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#468071 - 07/27/14 04:24 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
in our industry, there is supervisor who is also a serial sexual predator.
he has assaulted and molested several young women through various methods both subtle and sinister.
using the power of his position of authority he gains access to interns and fresh graduates in the late teens and early twenties.
using the power of his old-boy network, he has managed to survive several attempts to stop him.
despite the fact that four victims have come forward publicly, and others privately, accusing him of crimes up to and including rape.
some have even made police reports.
and yet he dodges every bullet.
some scandal, minimal investigation, no arrest, not even a pause in his employment.
the victims, with no influence in the industry, lose their job, get shunned, and eventually move on to a different company or career.
what usually happens is their reputation and credibility is attacked,
or people claim it is "word against word" and remain neutral, refusing to discuss it.
it makes me sick.
(it reminds me of the dylan farrow/woody allen affair)


some guilty perps seem to be immune from consequences.
and yet, time and time again, i have seen innocent lives ruined by unfounded allegations,
destroyed with nothing more than a hint of innuendo and a whisper of a rumour.


there is not even the illusion of justice on this planet.
certainly not any justice that i can recognize as such.
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#468103 - 07/28/14 01:38 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 188
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
Could I have fought them off, could I have done more, could I have not protected myself - I've felt less of a man because of it for most of my life, but heck I was 11 years old, 9 stone, skinny, frightened, scared for my life - where was this guy or someone like him when I needed protecting?


Edited by tbkkfile (07/28/14 01:38 AM)
_________________________
Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter

J.R.R.Tolkien, The Hobbit

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#468104 - 07/28/14 01:55 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: victor-victim]
Still Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6424
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: victor-victim
in our industry, there is supervisor who is also a serial sexual predator.
he has assaulted and molested several young women through various methods both subtle and sinister.
using the power of his position of authority he gains access to interns and fresh graduates in the late teens and early twenties.
using the power of his old-boy network, he has managed to survive several attempts to stop him.
despite the fact that four victims have come forward publicly, and others privately, accusing him of crimes up to and including rape.
some have even made police reports.
and yet he dodges every bullet.
some scandal, minimal investigation, no arrest, not even a pause in his employment.
the victims, with no influence in the industry, lose their job, get shunned, and eventually move on to a different company or career.
what usually happens is their reputation and credibility is attacked,
or people claim it is "word against word" and remain neutral, refusing to discuss it.
it makes me sick.
(it reminds me of the dylan farrow/woody allen affair)


some guilty perps seem to be immune from consequences.
and yet, time and time again, i have seen innocent lives ruined by unfounded allegations,
destroyed with nothing more than a hint of innuendo and a whisper of a rumour.


there is not even the illusion of justice on this planet.
certainly not any justice that i can recognize as such.


For the life of a child and children...I have to justify "it." Who's to say my life is any more important than theirs. Its not.

During a session with my first T years ago, the conversation went to the consequences of my inaction for all those years. We eventually came to my question: "Am I responsible for the kids they raped since then???" Her answer: "Well....it certainly seems you would be...yes...if you could have stopped it."

You'd think that was the most devastating things a T could say or do. It wasn't...not for her! And it etched into my soul and mind so fully, I'll never get rid of it. Since then, I feel a total sacrifice is called for to make-up for my weakness and failing. I am determined to make that sacrifice some day

Choose your T wisely my friends.


Edited by Still (07/28/14 02:07 AM)
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#468156 - 07/28/14 11:51 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: Still
During a session with my first T years ago, the conversation went to the consequences of my inaction for all those years. We eventually came to my question: "Am I responsible for the kids they raped since then???" Her answer: "Well....it certainly seems you would be...yes...if you could have stopped it."


in my case... the guy went on to murder at least a dozen children after i failed to officially report his crime against me.

i don't know if you read my story, but a few of us victims went after the perp with clubs but he got away. after he disappeared, that was the end of it as far as i was concerned at the time. i was only 15, and had no clue about consequences or long term damage. i just put it all out of my mind.

when i saw his name and face in the news after he was arrested as a serial killer, i felt directly responsible for the deaths of those children.
i felt that way for years and years.

i have since forgiven myself.

i did not kill them. he did.

but to this day, whenever someone discloses their childhood sexual abuse history to me in private, i always ask them if they have confronted or exposed the pedophile, or if they have reported it to authorities.

i tell them my story of guilt.

i gently urge them to take it to the next level for the sake of future victims.

sometimes they follow my advice.
in those cases, there were nothing but positive results.
as in the case of the aforementioned supervisor.
i have helped four of his victims to come forward and i got them linked up so they could support each other, and now we are getting some official action.
the workers insurance (government) has become involved, and there is a hearing scheduled.

of course there is always the initial wildfire of controversy and emotional reactions that come with revealing these ugly truths, but that ends, and the people adjust to the new paradigm. we also find out who our real friends are.

i believe the CSA symptoms thrive in the dark of secrecy.
i believe they shrivel in the light of scrutiny.

there is such a thing as discretion and privacy, but i generally believe that honest disclosure is inevitably required to move forward.


Originally Posted By: tbkkfile
Could I have fought them off, could I have done more, could I have not protected myself - I've felt less of a man because of it for most of my life, but heck I was 11 years old, 9 stone, skinny, frightened, scared for my life - where was this guy or someone like him when I needed protecting?


so often i have felt exactly that same way!
i can hear your words screaming off the screen!


--------------------------------------
religion warning.
if you are triggered by religion,
then please do not read beyond this point.
thank you.
---------------------------------------

Click to reveal.. ( BIBLE SCRIPTURE )
RELIGION WARNING: here is some ancient advice on getting involved from old moses.

"If anyone sins in that he is sworn to testify and has knowledge of the matter,
either by seeing or hearing of it, but fails to report it,
then he shall bear his iniquity and willfulness.
"
Leviticus 5:1


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#468620 - 08/07/14 02:04 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
just read this today. posted here .
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=468619&#Post468619

WARNING * TRIGGERS * BAD NEWS STORY *
'My son saved his attacker's life': Father who brutally beat teen he caught with his son, 11, reveals it was only his boy's pleas that saved the suspect from death.
JB, 35, shockingly admits he would have killed RF, 18, if not for his son stopping him.
The father who beat a man he allegedly caught abusing his 11-year-old son has admitted that it was only his son's pleas which stopped him from killing the admitted pervert.
JB said he was going to stab RF, 18, to death after he beat him unconscious but that his son stood up and stopped him from killing the man.
'My son is the one who stepped in front of me and stopped me. My son saved his attackers life, so who's really the hero in this situation?' the father asked.


got this from the Daily Mail article.
By RYAN GORMAN and LOUISE BOYLE
PUBLISHED: 03:55 GMT, 22 July 2014

also from that article…



The father's outrage comes from being abused himself as a child at a foster home in California.

According to his arrest affidavit, suspect RF later admitted to Florida police that he has been abusing the boy for three years.


there are no winners in this situation.
the only positive i can see is that the child is safer now that the abuse has stopped.
hopefully, with proper support, the boy can start recovery.
let us hope that the media circus will not compound his damage.


Daytona Police Chief Mike Chitwood said

'The police, investigators and prosecutors go to great lengths to protect victims of sexual abuse. I'm sure his [the father's] intentions are in the right place but this is not good for the young man's recovery.'

Mr.Chitwood also said that he had hundreds of emails relating to the case, many from victims of sexual abuse and their families.
He said: 'Many of them said that they wished someone - a father, mother, big brother - had walked in when it was happening to them.'


we are not alone
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#468686 - 08/08/14 03:57 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
traveler Offline
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Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3396
Loc: somewhere in Africa
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#468688 - 08/08/14 04:47 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: traveler]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
oh no.
shocked

the boy is probably going through all kinds of hell.
i don't know if this kind of publicity is good for him.
while i wish that the media would pay more attention to CSA,
i don't usually like how it plays out when they do.
there is too much focus on the wrong aspects,
and i sense an unpleasant fascination with the lurid details.
the shock value sells more than the sensitive side.
then the fickle crowd moves on to the next fad.

sometimes i can be very cynical.

thanks for the update, traveler.
all i can do is pray for the boy.
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#468919 - 08/14/14 06:07 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
lostc Offline


Registered: 08/12/14
Posts: 22
To be honest I think it was a great thing. Today people are too often becoming pacified and letting increasingly incompetent and indifferent authorities babysit them and see that "justice is served", which often never truly happens or is just a token gesture which is more of an insult. Everyone here can agree that such a thing can easily and probably always totally change your life for the worse and can ruin your life. Years of future pain and torture for this boy even though the physical acts of abuse by that degenerate is over. That boy could have easily already committed suicide because of the years of abuse. A ruined life/possible suicide compared to a beating which the offender deserves plus sending a message to society, the boy, his family and community about what people think of this. Instead of quietly filing a police case, letting the offender take it easy and enjoy a sheltered life in prison where they are kept apart from other prisoners who would want to harm them. It seems pretty clear to me, even after reading the other opinions. I hate the mainstream media, but aside from all that, the merits of the actions of the father seems pretty clear to me.


Edited by lostc (08/14/14 06:50 AM)

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#468928 - 08/14/14 04:56 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: lostc]
Still Offline
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Registered: 02/16/07
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Originally Posted By: lostc
To be honest I think it was a great thing. Today people are too often becoming pacified and letting increasingly incompetent and indifferent authorities babysit them and see that "justice is served", which often never truly happens or is just a token gesture which is more of an insult. Everyone here can agree that such a thing can easily and probably always totally change your life for the worse and can ruin your life. Years of future pain and torture for this boy even though the physical acts of abuse by that degenerate is over. That boy could have easily already committed suicide because of the years of abuse. A ruined life/possible suicide compared to a beating which the offender deserves plus sending a message to society, the boy, his family and community about what people think of this. Instead of quietly filing a police case, letting the offender take it easy and enjoy a sheltered life in prison where they are kept apart from other prisoners who would want to harm them. It seems pretty clear to me, even after reading the other opinions. I hate the mainstream media, but aside from all that, the merits of the actions of the father seems pretty clear to me.


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#468953 - 08/15/14 04:44 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
traveler Offline
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Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3396
Loc: somewhere in Africa
AMEN!
Preach it, Brother!!!
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#469065 - 08/17/14 03:54 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
Nothing Man Offline


Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 46
Loc: Ohio
One of my perps was a 14 (or so) year old boy who raped me. A couple things are clear, however. I've had a really rough life as an alcoholic suffering from major depression. I've drunk myself out of every good job and schooling opportunity I've had. My life is basically a train wreck.

And I found my perp on LinkdIn. He is a well-respected audiologist (a doctor!) in San Francisco, living what is presumably a very comfortable life.

It does not seem fair.
_________________________
You want courage
I'll show you courage you can't understand
The pearl and silver
Resting on my night table
It's just me lord, pray I'm able
....
I am the nothing man.

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#469093 - 08/18/14 05:19 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
Sven Offline


Registered: 07/29/13
Posts: 277
There was no sweet justice for anyone here. It's just another sad case. And no.. life ain't fair. There's always someone better of or worse off. Doesn't help anyone to compare..
And all this rage and anger i see here isn't going to help anyone either, esp not yourself..
_________________________
In the howling wind
Comes a stinging rain
See it driving nails
Into souls on the tree of pain
From the firefly a red orange glow
See the face of fear
Running scared in the valley below
~ Bullet The Blue Sky - U2

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#469182 - 08/20/14 05:37 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
cosmos Offline


Registered: 11/12/12
Posts: 184
Loc: Puget Sound
I hesitated to post a reply but all I read and all I see is sadness, sad that another boy was allegedly raped and the fallout from the event of discovery. I remember what it was like to be that four-year old little boy and discovered, I remember my father’s reaction, I remember everyone’s reaction, nothing good, there are no winners here just losers. While I understand the need for revenge and justice, it’s a very primitive and base emotion; it’s also the root cause of a lot of the evil in the world today, an eye for an eye? I don’t get it, Jesus said turn the other cheek, what would Jesus have done? Sorry I just condone violence of any sort and am very weary of those that can condone the sufferings of others. Understand I have truly hurt people and know that the knowledge of the pain I have caused haunts me daily.

Chris
_________________________
"it has never yet been discovered how to make man unknow his knowledge, or unthink his thoughts"

T. Paine

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#469185 - 08/20/14 08:19 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: cosmos]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: cosmos
Understand I have truly hurt people and know that the knowledge of the pain I have caused haunts me daily.


I'm with you, cosmos.

please don't misunderstand me,
I am all in favour of intervention,
and I completely comprehend the instinctive impulse to attack an abuser actually caught in the act.
it is dangerous and unhealthy for me to indulge
or engage in such a surge of rage.
i have found it equally degrading to my dignity to dwell on thoughts of inflicting punishment or pain on people, even predators and perpetrators.
believe me...
I would love to have been rescued,
but there is a fine line between rescue and revenge that separates the two incompatible states of mind.


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#469196 - 08/20/14 11:34 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1529
Loc: New England
Perhaps its not the violence visited on the perp that attracts some of us. I think its the rescue. Its the fact that the abuse was stopped. The fact that someone (in this case the father) found out and did something about it.

For many of us thats one of the painful facts of our CSA experiences. That no one knew. That no one rescued us. And by inference, no one cared. No one valued us enough to notice and take us out of danger. We concluded that we were worthless objects.

For me the father's response shouts "Somebody cares! Somebody thinks the kid's worth saving!" Whatever damage was done to the boy, perhaps he won't have to carry that same deep sense of worthlessness that I, and many others, have carried.

I know its probably more complicated than that. But I can't help but feel some satisfaction when any kid gets rescued from a sexual predator.

Jude
_________________________
Well, I won't back down
No I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down.
Tom Petty

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#469197 - 08/21/14 12:58 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Jude]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
amen, Jude.

applaud the rescue.
avoid the revenge.

that is the most positive aspect of this otherwise negative event.

we can all agree that the boy's welfare should be top priority.
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#469253 - 08/22/14 06:43 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Sven]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6424
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: Sven
There was no sweet justice for anyone here. It's just another sad case. And no.. life ain't fair. There's always someone better of or worse off. Doesn't help anyone to compare..
And all this rage and anger i see here isn't going to help anyone either, esp not yourself..


I never knew what it was like to have any earthly defender for anything. A father whom would defend and rescue would have been amazing, but instead, mine was too caught-up in worldly rage and using me as the object of said rage. I eventually learned there would be no rescue provided by Batman, SuperMan or the neighbors after hearing my screams through open windows.

I look at this rescue as 'someone having actually rescuing a child.' The term "justice" is not limited to beating the perp. It includes, in its definition scope, the rescue of the child. I have little-to-no tolerance for coddling, understanding or accommodation for the perp whatsoever. They are murderers and ought to be neutralized with extreme prejudice. The "justice" here (IMO) is the rescue and the neutralization. Said "neutralizing" is now the perp's prison sentence.

Prison life will likely be an ultra-violent nightmare for the perp. Ought we not send him there?

Originally Posted By: Still
The justice comes from the guy being caught...the boy's agony ending...one more perp off the street.

Again:
I'm not equating revenge to justice, or justice to revenge. Sometimes, halting a demon requires human nature. Human nature, in this case, resulted in a violent arrest of the turd.


Originally Posted By: Nothing Man
One of my perps was a 14 (or so) year old boy who raped me. A couple things are clear, however. I've had a really rough life as an alcoholic suffering from major depression. I've drunk myself out of every good job and schooling opportunity I've had. My life is basically a train wreck.

And I found my perp on LinkdIn. He is a well-respected audiologist (a doctor!) in San Francisco, living what is presumably a very comfortable life.

It does not seem fair.


Someone takes a beating. Every time. Every act of evil...they all have their own perch upon which they sit and fester...and infect a life. The negative outcome will manifest and be held by someone.

NothingMan: In your case and mine, the abuse took us off the viable tracks of a good life...sent us careening into a wreck.

Others: I'm sorry some feel it wrong to think of this case as "justice." Maybe "Hooray for a fitting outcome for one perp and....." Eh...I can't even fabricate a rationale to a new definition. All I can do is admire the father and the son for their strength and determination to make their definition of justice happen.

I find that in practice, pacifism exist on a scale...a continuum of sorts. At one end is beating, murder, violence. And at the other end we find inaction. Complete and full inaction...acceptance and allowance for the wolf. The pain-burden is then placed fully and squarely upon the child if the wolf walks free.

***TRIGGER WARNING*** In invisible text. Highlight-over the lines below to read.

So what should the father's reaction have been? Where on the continuum would you land? Would you: 1) beat or kill the perp? 2) Ask him to kindly remove his dick from your son's ass and have him wait on that chair for the police? or 3) Allow him to "finish," offer him a towel and walk him to the door wishing him a good night?


Pacifism requires denial and willful ignorance of certain realities!!

In the middle-east, right now, there are evil creatures cutting the heads off of children. The only way to stop them is to pass hot bullets through them. There is no other way to stop them. I will not kneel on the sheet of plastic for such creatures. I'd rather stop them.
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#469254 - 08/22/14 06:51 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
lostc Offline


Registered: 08/12/14
Posts: 22
I agree entirely Still. The huge injustice is that nowadays sex offenders in prison are specifically placed Apart from other/non-sex offenders because of the very fact that they will get targeted for their crimes by the other offenders.


Edited by lostc (08/22/14 08:24 AM)

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#469258 - 08/22/14 09:47 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3396
Loc: somewhere in Africa
i have very mixed feelings on this. my mind tells me i ought to maintain a pacifist, idealistic, philosophical, legal neutrality.
BUT my gut feelings are with you, Still, and the dad!

lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#469267 - 08/22/14 02:04 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
I don't trust my own feelings.
I would have likely lost it and acted violently under the circumstances.
regardless of my ideals and ethics.
sometimes the animal takes over.
how I would feel later is another story.
the father will need counselling for sure.
I feel for this family.
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Victor|Victim

War
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#469942 - 09/12/14 10:10 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
cosmos Offline


Registered: 11/12/12
Posts: 184
Loc: Puget Sound
Jude never thought about it that way, rescue? My rescue led to nothing but 40+ years of denial so I just can’t see it that way. As to my own anger, 20 years ago had I been the father in the story I would have killed the SOB. Just know I try to get through things that trigger my vengeance response it’s not like I don’t understand it, just vengeance was a way of life for me growing up and caused me and most importantly others pain and something I try to respond differently to.

Still I understand your need for a defender , man I do, the only person who ever looked out for me is typing this post, so I get it, around the age of 2 I realized I was the only person on this planet that can help me, everyone else go eff yourselves! Still you post of role models growing up, of normal things, I can’t even imagine, we have both seen sides of this world that the other is immune from seeing I just so wish it wasn’t so that I could see this glimpse of “normal” society that you have.

Chris
_________________________
"it has never yet been discovered how to make man unknow his knowledge, or unthink his thoughts"

T. Paine

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#470049 - 09/15/14 07:55 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6424
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Oh the way the stories can twist!

To be really brief. My father called. "Come get me please."

I drove to his house 20 mins away. His wife was not there. He informs me he's been the victim of physical abuse by his wife. He's been hit and possibly pushed down the stairs. (He did fall down the stairs, but we don't know why).

I got him outta there and brought him to my place. I rescued him.

During the entire drive, I was flippin-out in my mind--crying right now: "where were YOU?" "Now you know what its like...how you terrorized me." "What its like to be too frightened to stay, but HAVE to stay...to remain up all night long, standing in the center of your bedroom so as not to be tempted by the bed. Remianing awake...so as not to wake up dead at 11-yo."
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This nation has lost its mind!

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#470052 - 09/15/14 10:44 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 188
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
I'm not sure why I do it Still, why I can't help myself.

I'm not trying to speak for you but for me I've an 87 year old Mother who 44 years ago didn't seem to care that one of her boyfriends took a liking to her 11 year son, a woman who felt it fine to tell me the intimate details of her sex life in graphic detail, who seemed to enjoy telling her son that his Father wasn't going to live long (he lived till he was 90 FU Mum), and all the while I was being abused by 4 men every week, where was she when I needed rescuing. So now she's an old woman can't get around, can't get out much - and now she needs me...

What can I do, yeah I go round there past the alley way were it used to happen, into the house and sit in the front room where her boyfriends used to sit, sit at the dinner table where she used to tell me the gory details of her sex life, and we talk, I get some shopping for her, we talk some more and then I leave, I'd love to puke up when I walk to the car but I manage to hold it in, I cry in the car on the way home, another few points in my favour for my conscience.



Edited by tbkkfile (09/15/14 10:47 AM)
_________________________
Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter

J.R.R.Tolkien, The Hobbit

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#470061 - 09/15/14 12:39 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6424
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
with permission only...(((tbkkfile)))
_________________________
This nation has lost its mind!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#470098 - 09/16/14 12:07 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 188
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
Thank you Still it's appreciated
_________________________
Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter

J.R.R.Tolkien, The Hobbit

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