During a session with my first T years ago, the conversation went to the consequences of my inaction for all those years. We eventually came to my question: "Am I responsible for the kids they raped since then???" Her answer: "Well....it certainly seems you would be...yes...if you could have stopped it."
in my case... the guy went on to murder at least a dozen children after i failed to officially report his crime against me.
i don't know if you read my story, but a few of us victims went after the perp with clubs but he got away. after he disappeared, that was the end of it as far as i was concerned at the time. i was only 15, and had no clue about consequences or long term damage. i just put it all out of my mind.
when i saw his name and face in the news after he was arrested as a serial killer, i felt directly responsible for the deaths of those children.
i felt that way for years and years.
i have since forgiven myself.
i did not kill them. he did.
but to this day, whenever someone discloses their childhood sexual abuse history to me in private, i always ask them if they have confronted or exposed the pedophile, or if they have reported it to authorities.
i tell them my story of guilt.
i gently urge them to take it to the next level for the sake of future victims.
sometimes they follow my advice.
in those cases, there were nothing but positive results.
as in the case of the aforementioned supervisor.
i have helped four of his victims to come forward and i got them linked up so they could support each other, and now we are getting some official action.
the workers insurance (government) has become involved, and there is a hearing scheduled.
of course there is always the initial wildfire of controversy and emotional reactions that come with revealing these ugly truths, but that ends, and the people adjust to the new paradigm. we also find out who our real friends are.
i believe the CSA symptoms thrive in the dark of secrecy.
i believe they shrivel in the light of scrutiny.
there is such a thing as discretion and privacy, but i generally believe that honest disclosure is inevitably required to move forward.
Could I have fought them off, could I have done more, could I have not protected myself - I've felt less of a man because of it for most of my life, but heck I was 11 years old, 9 stone, skinny, frightened, scared for my life - where was this guy or someone like him when I needed protecting?
so often i have felt exactly that same way!
i can hear your words screaming off the screen!
if you are triggered by religion,
then please do not read beyond this point.
RELIGION WARNING: here is some ancient advice on getting involved from old moses.
"If anyone sins in that he is sworn to testify and has knowledge of the matter,
either by seeing or hearing of it, but fails to report it,
then he shall bear his iniquity and willfulness."