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#468045 - 07/27/14 11:15 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
Still Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6915
Loc: FEMA Region 1
VV and All,

This movie deals with this very topic of "caught-in-the-act" reaction. We never truly know if the perp was actually a perp. Not gonna ruin the movie for you, but it is excellent and worth the time to watch.



Edited by Still (07/27/14 11:16 AM)
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#468050 - 07/27/14 12:24 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 5070
Loc: O Kanada
there was also John Coffey...



the innocent character in the movie GREEN MILE that was "caught in the act".
he was beaten, arrested, imprisoned, tried, convicted, sentenced to death, and executed.

and yet in real life, often the guilty can not even be accused or identified, for fear of legal backlash.

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#468068 - 07/27/14 03:58 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
Still Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6915
Loc: FEMA Region 1
We just had a likely false-accusation at a local school. I know a bit of inside info...enough to know I will never be alone with any minor (other than my kids) ever. Avoiding that situation still would not have gotten this teacher out of trouble and life-devastation. There was a witness present and they were never alone. It was basically sarcasm gone wild. 50-yo teacher...done for life!
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My fault? How's this my fault? [Dean Vernon Wormer, 1978]

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#468071 - 07/27/14 04:24 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 5070
Loc: O Kanada
in our industry, there is supervisor who is also a serial sexual predator.
he has assaulted and molested several young women through various methods both subtle and sinister.
using the power of his position of authority he gains access to interns and fresh graduates in the late teens and early twenties.
using the power of his old-boy network, he has managed to survive several attempts to stop him.
despite the fact that four victims have come forward publicly, and others privately, accusing him of crimes up to and including rape.
some have even made police reports.
and yet he dodges every bullet.
some scandal, minimal investigation, no arrest, not even a pause in his employment.
the victims, with no influence in the industry, lose their job, get shunned, and eventually move on to a different company or career.
what usually happens is their reputation and credibility is attacked,
or people claim it is "word against word" and remain neutral, refusing to discuss it.
it makes me sick.
(it reminds me of the dylan farrow/woody allen affair)


some guilty perps seem to be immune from consequences.
and yet, time and time again, i have seen innocent lives ruined by unfounded allegations,
destroyed with nothing more than a hint of innuendo and a whisper of a rumour.


there is not even the illusion of justice on this planet.
certainly not any justice that i can recognize as such.
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#468103 - 07/28/14 01:38 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 335
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
Could I have fought them off, could I have done more, could I have not protected myself - I've felt less of a man because of it for most of my life, but heck I was 11 years old, 9 stone, skinny, frightened, scared for my life - where was this guy or someone like him when I needed protecting?


Edited by tbkkfile (07/28/14 01:38 AM)
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#468104 - 07/28/14 01:55 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: victor-victim]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6915
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Originally Posted By: victor-victim
in our industry, there is supervisor who is also a serial sexual predator.
he has assaulted and molested several young women through various methods both subtle and sinister.
using the power of his position of authority he gains access to interns and fresh graduates in the late teens and early twenties.
using the power of his old-boy network, he has managed to survive several attempts to stop him.
despite the fact that four victims have come forward publicly, and others privately, accusing him of crimes up to and including rape.
some have even made police reports.
and yet he dodges every bullet.
some scandal, minimal investigation, no arrest, not even a pause in his employment.
the victims, with no influence in the industry, lose their job, get shunned, and eventually move on to a different company or career.
what usually happens is their reputation and credibility is attacked,
or people claim it is "word against word" and remain neutral, refusing to discuss it.
it makes me sick.
(it reminds me of the dylan farrow/woody allen affair)


some guilty perps seem to be immune from consequences.
and yet, time and time again, i have seen innocent lives ruined by unfounded allegations,
destroyed with nothing more than a hint of innuendo and a whisper of a rumour.


there is not even the illusion of justice on this planet.
certainly not any justice that i can recognize as such.


For the life of a child and children...I have to justify "it." Who's to say my life is any more important than theirs. Its not.

During a session with my first T years ago, the conversation went to the consequences of my inaction for all those years. We eventually came to my question: "Am I responsible for the kids they raped since then???" Her answer: "Well....it certainly seems you would be...yes...if you could have stopped it."

You'd think that was the most devastating things a T could say or do. It wasn't...not for her! And it etched into my soul and mind so fully, I'll never get rid of it. Since then, I feel a total sacrifice is called for to make-up for my weakness and failing. I am determined to make that sacrifice some day

Choose your T wisely my friends.


Edited by Still (07/28/14 02:07 AM)
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My fault? How's this my fault? [Dean Vernon Wormer, 1978]

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#468156 - 07/28/14 11:51 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 5070
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: Still
During a session with my first T years ago, the conversation went to the consequences of my inaction for all those years. We eventually came to my question: "Am I responsible for the kids they raped since then???" Her answer: "Well....it certainly seems you would be...yes...if you could have stopped it."


in my case... the guy went on to murder at least a dozen children after i failed to officially report his crime against me.

i don't know if you read my story, but a few of us victims went after the perp with clubs but he got away. after he disappeared, that was the end of it as far as i was concerned at the time. i was only 15, and had no clue about consequences or long term damage. i just put it all out of my mind.

when i saw his name and face in the news after he was arrested as a serial killer, i felt directly responsible for the deaths of those children.
i felt that way for years and years.

i have since forgiven myself.

i did not kill them. he did.

but to this day, whenever someone discloses their childhood sexual abuse history to me in private, i always ask them if they have confronted or exposed the pedophile, or if they have reported it to authorities.

i tell them my story of guilt.

i gently urge them to take it to the next level for the sake of future victims.

sometimes they follow my advice.
in those cases, there were nothing but positive results.
as in the case of the aforementioned supervisor.
i have helped four of his victims to come forward and i got them linked up so they could support each other, and now we are getting some official action.
the workers insurance (government) has become involved, and there is a hearing scheduled.

of course there is always the initial wildfire of controversy and emotional reactions that come with revealing these ugly truths, but that ends, and the people adjust to the new paradigm. we also find out who our real friends are.

i believe the CSA symptoms thrive in the dark of secrecy.
i believe they shrivel in the light of scrutiny.

there is such a thing as discretion and privacy, but i generally believe that honest disclosure is inevitably required to move forward.


Originally Posted By: tbkkfile
Could I have fought them off, could I have done more, could I have not protected myself - I've felt less of a man because of it for most of my life, but heck I was 11 years old, 9 stone, skinny, frightened, scared for my life - where was this guy or someone like him when I needed protecting?


so often i have felt exactly that same way!
i can hear your words screaming off the screen!


--------------------------------------
religion warning.
if you are triggered by religion,
then please do not read beyond this point.
thank you.
---------------------------------------

Click to reveal.. ( BIBLE SCRIPTURE )
RELIGION WARNING: here is some ancient advice on getting involved from old moses.

"If anyone sins in that he is sworn to testify and has knowledge of the matter,
either by seeing or hearing of it, but fails to report it,
then he shall bear his iniquity and willfulness.
"
Leviticus 5:1


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#468620 - 08/07/14 02:04 AM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 5070
Loc: O Kanada
just read this today. posted here .
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=468619&#Post468619

WARNING * TRIGGERS * BAD NEWS STORY *
'My son saved his attacker's life': Father who brutally beat teen he caught with his son, 11, reveals it was only his boy's pleas that saved the suspect from death.
JB, 35, shockingly admits he would have killed RF, 18, if not for his son stopping him.
The father who beat a man he allegedly caught abusing his 11-year-old son has admitted that it was only his son's pleas which stopped him from killing the admitted pervert.
JB said he was going to stab RF, 18, to death after he beat him unconscious but that his son stood up and stopped him from killing the man.
'My son is the one who stepped in front of me and stopped me. My son saved his attackers life, so who's really the hero in this situation?' the father asked.


got this from the Daily Mail article.
By RYAN GORMAN and LOUISE BOYLE
PUBLISHED: 03:55 GMT, 22 July 2014

also from that article…



The father's outrage comes from being abused himself as a child at a foster home in California.

According to his arrest affidavit, suspect RF later admitted to Florida police that he has been abusing the boy for three years.


there are no winners in this situation.
the only positive i can see is that the child is safer now that the abuse has stopped.
hopefully, with proper support, the boy can start recovery.
let us hope that the media circus will not compound his damage.


Daytona Police Chief Mike Chitwood said

'The police, investigators and prosecutors go to great lengths to protect victims of sexual abuse. I'm sure his [the father's] intentions are in the right place but this is not good for the young man's recovery.'

Mr.Chitwood also said that he had hundreds of emails relating to the case, many from victims of sexual abuse and their families.
He said: 'Many of them said that they wished someone - a father, mother, big brother - had walked in when it was happening to them.'


we are not alone
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#468686 - 08/08/14 03:57 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: Still]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3712
Loc: somewhere in Africa
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#468688 - 08/08/14 04:47 PM Re: SWEET Justice! [Re: traveler]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 5070
Loc: O Kanada
oh no.
shocked

the boy is probably going through all kinds of hell.
i don't know if this kind of publicity is good for him.
while i wish that the media would pay more attention to CSA,
i don't usually like how it plays out when they do.
there is too much focus on the wrong aspects,
and i sense an unpleasant fascination with the lurid details.
the shock value sells more than the sensitive side.
then the fickle crowd moves on to the next fad.

sometimes i can be very cynical.

thanks for the update, traveler.
all i can do is pray for the boy.
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