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#467695 - 07/17/14 12:51 AM Porn
Esposa Offline
F&F Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/19/11
Posts: 791
Loc: NJ

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#467702 - 07/17/14 09:14 AM Re: Porn [Re: Esposa]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 758
I happen to disagree.

This is a very right wing Christian blogger...and I was mostly out when he suggested we "man up" whatever that means.

Yes, if you sit all day and watch porn and choose that over real life interpersonal contact there are issues, like any addiction. Specifically With men who have sex addictions, but that's certainly not all survivors.
_________________________
.

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#467714 - 07/17/14 12:13 PM Re: Porn [Re: Esposa]
HD001 Offline


Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 275
Loc: us
Yeah this is a bit of a hot botton topic for me. Espoa thanks for the article not matter what this guys politcal or religious beliefs I agree with him.
Growing up I've had several female friends who have ended up getting involved in the sex industry either as strippers or in online pornography. Yes they were all over 18 when they decided to do so even though this isn't always the case. Some of them were married and had their husbands consent which is horrific to me but whatever. The thing I will tell you about these women is that they had all been molested or raped at some point in their lives. Or they came from homes with fathers who had substance abuse problems or looked at porn themselves. These women would admit that in order to perform they had to use alcohol and drugs to numb down a bit.
When you look at porn you are supporting an industry the exploits the pain and emotional dysfunction of your fellow humans period. I've heard a lot of men say that these woman are adults who choose to participate and why should they feel bad about giving the single mom at the strip club some diaper money. Here's why:
Because that woman is someones little girl, someones sister, someones mother even. if you wouldn't want to see your daughters or wife or sister up on a pole or posing naked to feed the sexual appetiteof strangers then why is it okay for you to give money to someone elses daughter while they do that. It isn't.
_________________________
Everything comes from within

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#467715 - 07/17/14 12:29 PM Re: Porn [Re: Esposa]
HD001 Offline


Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 275
Loc: us
Oh and another thing since I'm all fired up.
Porn makes men into crappy lovers. The films are written by men for the most part and it really shows. No thanks my body doesn't actually bend that way for and extended period and no you can't put that there. And no most girls don't actually like xy and z. And whatever happened to the thrill of just being with someone you love and being tender. Nope not anymore now as I woman I'm expected to compete with paid actresses who've had themselves surgically altered and pretend to enjoy all kinds of things because they are getting paid. It really grinds my gears ill tell ya that much.
_________________________
Everything comes from within

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#467826 - 07/21/14 12:55 AM Re: Porn [Re: Esposa]
Esposa Offline
F&F Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/19/11
Posts: 791
Loc: NJ
Christian or not, the point is the point. And I think the writer is addressing infidelity and certainly we can all agree that there are certain addictions that are gateways for other addictions. While addicts may have specificity, the numbing requirements make jumping addictions quite likely. The writer's point is that if we soften the edges on porn, we are not holding ourselves truly accountable.

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#468163 - 07/29/14 06:31 AM Re: Porn [Re: Esposa]
focusedbody Offline


Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 428
Loc: NY
"Numbing" is the worst part.

I had no idea what I was missing out on by thinking that part of being virile was being numb. I wonder if I "jumped" from being a boy to being a man without considering it.

Now I see circles of pain surrounding what is harder to get to. But there is peace there too.

FB
_________________________
Lose the drama; life is a poem.

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#468174 - 07/29/14 10:36 AM Re: Porn [Re: Esposa]
Jay1946 Offline


Registered: 08/08/13
Posts: 136
Loc: Miami, Florida, USA
I got addicted to internet porn. I am now convinced that the origin of my compulsion is rooted in childhood sexual abuse. It's numbing, and the more you do it, the more you want it. No doubt that undeterred, one crosses the line into physical infidelity.

For me, overcoming my porn addiction has been the most challenging and difficult issue I've had to face in my life. I am convinced, nevertheless, that if I want to achieve self actualization in my married and work life, it is not compatible with viewing porn.
_________________________
Jay

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#468177 - 07/29/14 11:46 AM Re: Porn [Re: Esposa]
Jim1961 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/10/09
Posts: 1179
Loc: Pa, but likely traveling...
I agree Jay
_________________________
Loneliness is a power that we possess to give or take away forever. -Yes, Starship Trooper

My Story

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#481604 - 05/02/15 01:20 PM Re: Porn [Re: Esposa]
Dolphinboy Offline


Registered: 10/30/11
Posts: 52
I am not married and never was. The writer is very specific about how wrong porn is for married men. There is a sentence that includes all men, but in general the post is directed at married men who are accused of adultery when viewing porn. Does it then make it okay for me to be a serious porn addict? After all, my porn of preference is gay, older men, not woman or young girls. I have tried to stop this habit so many times, but just today I was alone and closed the curtains for a virtual porn and masturbation binge. I can stop watching porn for weeks at the time, but I always go back. Why? I think one reason is because it is there, just a click away, so very easy to access. Maybe it won't be a bad idea to make it more difficult for us to just open a window and dive into our worst indulgences. I don't know how else I am going to be able to stop this.
_________________________
When there are dolphins in the waves,
the sharks wont get to us.
I believed my dad that day
and became Dolphinboy,
my own protector.

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#481832 - 05/06/15 10:42 AM Re: Porn [Re: Esposa]
GoodHope Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/05/11
Posts: 426
Dolhin Boy, there are therapists who specialize in porn addiction (look for CSAT certification) and there are also 12 step groups that deal with this Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) comes to mind (for the partners of porn addicts, some people have found great health and and growth in COSA--the partner group of SAA). The easy access is definitely problematic.

If you are Christian, there are some Christian groups that address this as well.

Best wishes.
_________________________
Wife of a survivor

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