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#46729 - 08/17/02 04:32 AM Re: Feeling very alone
Ross Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/02
Posts: 34
Loc: Vancouver, BC Canada
Dear Starman:

Sorry to hear of your difficult times with therapists. I was abused by Catholic Clergy as a boy. As a result the church had to pay for my therapy. I had almost weekly sessions for about four years.

My therapist was very thoughtful, considerate and focused on my emerging issues and was not agenda driven. Therapy can be a wonderful vehicle for recovery if you can find a counsellor you are comfortable with. I found the client driven model that my therapist followed allowed for me to feel comfortable dealing with issues at a pace that I basically controlled.

Shop around, they are not all guru types or self promoting of the newest trendy method. I found therapy to be hard work at times and the tried and true method of the counsellor listening and actually caring from a truly empathetic position as a real person and not a "talking head" was helpful.

Hope you find some comfort and help!

Sincerely
Ross


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#46730 - 08/17/02 05:01 AM Re: Feeling very alone
Roy Offline
Member

Registered: 08/02/02
Posts: 184
Loc: Los Angeles
Well no wonder you're in a state of depression over all this. I'm curious about how long ago the assault by the so-called therapist occurred. Also, when did you tell your wife? As if the rape trauma were not bad enough, the betrayal and abandonment you are experiencing almost sounds worse. I am worried about you! You have been very clear about how isolated you are and your feelings about the mental health world, and at the same time must know you really need to get help with this. You're only human you know. \:\) It sounds like your situation is really jammed up and I would like to explore possibilities with you. I will send you a private message so we can communicate at greater length. Thankfully you found this place and though you may be isolated you are most definitely not alone. Remember that there are real men behind these words on a screen, men with similar experiences and compassion for their brother. You will get through this.

Roy


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#46731 - 08/17/02 08:20 AM Re: Feeling very alone
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
dump the therapist, there must be someone better for you

thank you for opening up

I just acted out witha stranger thrusday, first time, usually it is with someone I know. last time is was a year and a half ago.

hurting n MI

MJ

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#46732 - 08/18/02 12:55 AM Re: Feeling very alone
Starman Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/11/02
Posts: 11
Loc: Tennessee
I'm feeling a great deal better today, in great part due to the encouragement and support of all you guys who have cared enough to take the time to read my post and offer your support, suggestions, or words of wisdom. As for the therapist, she's long gone and has been replaced by a far more competent one...ME. We all have the answers to our pain within ourselves. Regardless of our level of education, there is a part of the human spirit where answers to all our questions lie hidden. A good therapist (and there are some) helps us to tap into that part where the answers lie. They do not give advice or tell us what we "ought" to do. They listen, and they help us find the path that is already there, hidden under the pain and feelings of worthlessness. I've never met a man who did not carry within himself a great treasure, no matter how low an opinion of himself he may hold. I've seen much of that treasure in just the past few days. I am sure many of you regard yours treasures as little more than a lump of coal, but remember, coal under extreme pressure becomes a diamond!
Thank you all again for your responses. I'm not "healed", just better. I will never truly be whole, nor, I suspect, will most of you. There will always be a hole within my spirit where something else might have grown. It is my duty to fill that hole with the love and compassion that can often only come from having been where many have never gone. I appreciate your help in cultivating that inner garden.


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