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#467229 - 07/04/14 02:54 AM Abuser of my family member in the news
HRB Offline

Registered: 11/13/13
Posts: 6

I apologize if this has already been discussed on the forum (I have been away from the forum for a few months). We (the family) just found out about this. It turns out that my uncle's abuser was in the news recently for pulling off 40+ years of abuse at international schools on 4 continents. He was finally caught and commit suicide in March. There was a full FBI investigation and everything, and the FBI is asking victims to come forward. We did show my uncle the news stories and that his abuser is now dead, thinking it might help. Meanwhile, my uncle is on death's door because of the drinking. His liver is failing and we are not sure how long he will stay alive. (He refuses to go to a therapist and every time he agrees to go to rehab he leaves on the second day, so none of the normal routes of treatment are working.) This situation, and that horrible man who abused him, has destroyed our entire family, and the lives of countless more around the world.

My question for the group is this: do you think this might be something that could help turn my uncle towards the healing process? Is there anything we as the family can do to facilitate that? And how should we (his family) handle this? According to the FBI, it was one of the worst cases of serial sexual abuse they had ever encountered. Hundreds if not thousands of victims. On one hand, I had hoped news of the abusers death, and the fact that my uncle was not the only one, would help him head towards healing. But his initial reaction was still to blame himself, guilty for not coming forward sooner, etc. We don't know what to do. It is very dire at this point.

Any advice from the group? Should we encourage him to go to the FBI? How do we handle something like this where the case of his abuser is so high profile and public?

Here is an article and wiki about it:

I sincerely hope none of you were victims of this horrible man.

Thanks for any advice you have for me.


#467266 - 07/05/14 01:11 PM Re: Abuser of my family member in the news [Re: HRB]
sugarbaby Offline

Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 380
Probably the best thing you can do it let him know that you are all there for him and supportive of him.

His struggle is deep and (from the sounds of it) clouded by alcohol so he is in a pretty painful place. Often the release of (from prison) or death of a perp brings back a lot of horrible memories. He may need some time on this.


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