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#467180 - 07/03/14 12:09 AM The Mouse...
atari_kid86 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/23/10
Posts: 130
Loc: Michigan
So we had a mouse in our kitchen. My wife gave me the job of "taking care" of it while she was out of town. No big deal, so I thought. So I set a series of snap traps in the kitchen where the little bugger was leaving his "evidence."

10 minutes later...

I hear *SNAP* then a series of rapid scraping noises and then *SNAP* again. Then more rapid scraping noises The house was totally silent when the comotion started.

I froze. I froze and had a panic attack. I don't know why. Is this common with a PTSD diagnosis to have stupid little things just send you off the deep end? I literally had to repeat to myself "IT'S A MOUSE! HE'S 3 INCHES LONG! HE CAN'T HURT YOU!" It took me a good 15 minutes to calm down enough to even approach the damn thing to see if it was dead.

I wasn't triggered. I'm not afraid of mice. What gives? Why does the sound of a mouse dying in my kitchen have the same effect as a major trigger? Would a "normal" person reacted the same way?



Side note on the mouse. He got himself somehow in two traps. The noise I heard was him running frantically with the thing stuck to his paw. The second sound was him getting his neck stuck in another one. I assure you we do keep a clean home. It happens to the best of us.

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#467181 - 07/03/14 01:17 AM Re: The Mouse... [Re: atari_kid86]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 820
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Any sharp sound, sudden unexpected sound or movement can trigger me if my nerves are on edge. I'm getting better at moving into the feelings of the event, and usually find familiar territory. My sense is these big damaged pieces of me dissipate a tiny bit each time I do this. This is very long term work for me. I'm finding I have never truly known what healthy limits and boundaries are for me, and so most of my life has been spent with unrealistic expectations of what I am really able to do. I am getting more conscious about my abilities, but a large part of the learning has come about by me simply wearing out the ability to do the things I used to do that weren't reasonable for me to do in the first place. PTSD, for me, means the trauma hides so I get fooled into thinking I'm much more able than I am. I don't care what my limitations are, but I do care about knowing what my limitations are so I can take good care of myself.

Best of luck to you,

Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#467184 - 07/03/14 01:32 AM Re: The Mouse... [Re: atari_kid86]
sadclown Offline


Registered: 02/27/14
Posts: 58
PTSD is an insanely well-devised survival mechanism. Remember that evolution does not favor the strongest or the smartest, it favors the best survivors. You are the product of billions of years of evolution that had very different needs than those of society. Society has been around for roughly 9-10,000 years, homo sapiens for 200,000. We're wired to defend against predators and starvation. The mind doesn't realize we have nice houses, and police, and weapons, and all the other things that makes society a pretty safe place.

You, however, were the lucky lottery winner of exposure that is mostly not had in society. That engaged ancient wiring to keep your ass alive, by any means necessary. Thus, perpetual sense of danger- hyperawareness. The brain doesn't care its a mouse. It cares that it once saw something sorta/kinda/not really like this and its close enough to go into full on "Holy SHIT! We're gonna die!!" Protocol. Great in the jungle...not so much in civilized times.

Don't beat yourself up too bad. The only reason for that is because thousands and thousands of years ago, you had a grandparent who survived like a boss and that defense mechanism is his gift to you. It means your brain is working properly. Its really the natural response.

And as a country bumpkin myself, I didn't for a second think your home was not clean. Mice are a by-product of country living smile
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#467190 - 07/03/14 04:31 AM Re: The Mouse... [Re: atari_kid86]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 814
Loc: michigan
when I am home alone I am on high alert. im not surprised that the noise sent you to that place. not to mention the scraping etc. I always end up feeling bad for the creature even though I know it is necessary to remove them. ptsd causes the hypervigelance that drives that jumpiness and has ...well me at least feeling tense most of the time the mouse was just a temporary focus.
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Either I will find a way, or I will make one.
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#467196 - 07/03/14 07:39 AM Re: The Mouse... [Re: atari_kid86]
sorryson Offline


Registered: 05/31/14
Posts: 104
wow I am beginning to understand. Sudden noises no matter how loud put me in a panic, a school bell, the church bell, a siren a loud scream from outside. I thought I was in my own world but what has been said here is what my counselor and doctors have said but I did not want to believe. It is part of PTSD that many survivors experience. A threat that puts us into survival motion, we need to learn how to control. For me I remember the sound and fear but have blanks after that. The pros tell me I am surviving by going into flight. It scares me because I do not know what happened in those minutes and sometimes hours after which could be bad for me or someone else. My doctors want me to learn how to react differently. I do not know how because it happens so fast. Can anyone give me some ideas on what they do, thank you.

Reading I am not alone has helped me realize the abuse really hurt my mind.

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#467204 - 07/03/14 01:20 PM Re: The Mouse... [Re: atari_kid86]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 820
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Sorryson,

My experience is awareness all by itself is healing. The process is not quick however. Awareness implies a level of understanding, part of the healing process. IMO.

Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#467235 - 07/04/14 11:35 AM Re: The Mouse... [Re: atari_kid86]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1486


........Sorry, guys...

..............You lost me at SNAP.

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Eirik




Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#467245 - 07/04/14 06:30 PM Re: The Mouse... [Re: atari_kid86]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 820
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
A very enjoyable laugh for me, Eirik. Thanks. Don.
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#467246 - 07/04/14 06:48 PM Re: The Mouse... [Re: don64]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1486
Thanks, Don smile Your comment made me smile because, well...

I'm treading really carefully here. I mean I'm really tip-toeing because I know that the PTSD issues are very real and I don't want to minimize that. But I would have jumped, too - I startle so easily, and I'm not sure I suffer from PTSD (or maybe I just haven't identified it as such). And sometimes it takes me a long time to get my heart down out of my throat and find my mental composure again.

But in that story, gee, I sort of identify with the mouse. Enough perhaps to ask if maybe it's something else that's bothering you, AtariKid? Maybe not. No wrong answers.
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Eirik




Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#467259 - 07/05/14 10:44 AM Re: The Mouse... [Re: atari_kid86]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 734
Loc: NJ
Was it the sound? Or the fact that you killed the rodent?

I find, maybe, I'm sorta surprised/shocked when I've seen a mouse and freeze...more about something in my house...similarly if somebody did something to my car. Its a personal violation. Idk, just some thoughts.
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