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#467087 - 06/28/14 11:32 PM I'm Sick & Tired of.......
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1596
Loc: New England
Going to therapy...
Going to AA....
Talking about recovery...
Crying....
Being vigilant about what I do and say....
Being responsible for myself....
Feeling sad....
Working 60 hours a week....
Working with people who just don't give a shit...
Helping others...
Young virile men showing off...
Doing the right thing.....
Being faithfull in a sexless marraige...
Telling myself "it doesn't matter, I can't get an erection anyway".
Sleeping alone....
Feeling lonely....
Feeling angry...
Feeling, period.
Telling my daughters "You are NOT going out dressed like that!"
Telling my sons to "Respect girls".
Rap music where the rapper talks about his penis....
Trying to pay $2,000 of bills with $1,500....
Taking anti-depressants....
Feeling like a failure...
Watching my six-pack turn into a keg...
Watching my pubic hair turn grey...
Using anti-wrinkle cream on my face....
And most of all, I'm sick & tired of VENTING
_________________________
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to scream
Joe Cocker

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#467090 - 06/29/14 12:16 AM Re: I'm Sick & Tired of....... [Re: Jude]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 815
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Hi Jude,

I know there is a self inside me that naturally gravitates to harmony and balance. There is just so much imbalance I seem to have to walk through to get there.

Sending you love and support.

Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#467094 - 06/29/14 12:42 PM Re: I'm Sick & Tired of....... [Re: Jude]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 811
Loc: michigan
hi jude
I know life throws some hard things our way but I believe you are a good man and deserve good things. I appreciate your input in the lives of many of the survivors here as well as my own. so I hope I can send you some support as well
and BTW venting is ok among friends we have good reason to be frustrated
Jeff
_________________________
Either I will find a way, or I will make one.
Philip Sidney

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#467095 - 06/29/14 01:31 PM Re: I'm Sick & Tired of....... [Re: Jude]
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 300
hello Jude,

Sounds like another tough day. Very well said and painful to read becuase there were many times i could relate. I guess i wish we all had a different and better story. I wish sites like this were never needed. and i wish the suffering would end for so many. All i can say is I liked what you wrote and I hope things get better.

Stay strong.
_________________________
Thanks

rich

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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#467177 - 07/02/14 11:09 PM Revised: I'm Grateful For....... [Re: Jude]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1596
Loc: New England
The opportunity to get help in therapy...
The acceptance I sobriety I find in AA...
Recovery even being an option...
Being able to cry after so many years of holding it all in....
Knowing that my life is better when i am vigilant in what I do and say...
The chance late in life to take responsibility for myself....
The ability to feel sadness, anger, loneliness, and anger, as well as occasionally feel peace, love, and happiness...
I have a career that is meaningful, where I get to help people, even if they don't give a shit...
Young virile men who remind me of myself at that age...
Learning how to do the right thing....
Being faithfull in my marraige after years of not...
Having had a frequent and varied sex life from age 16-40....
All 10 of my sons and daughters....
Rap music NOT....
Always finding a way to get by even though money is tight........
Having medications that allow me to function....
Feeling like a success sometimes...
Knowing that my aging body is still in pretty good shape, considering....
Its all in how you look at things...
_________________________
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to scream
Joe Cocker

Top
#467178 - 07/02/14 11:16 PM Re: Revised: I'm Grateful For....... [Re: Jude]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1437
Loc: California
Given the selective memory that we're all inherently flawed with, it occurs to me that "the past" really is just a story we tell ourselves.
_________________________
If I'm acting despondent, Please ask me if I'm eating sugar. I keep forgetting sugar makes me crazy.

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#467182 - 07/03/14 01:22 AM Re: Revised: I'm Grateful For....... [Re: Jude]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 815
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Congratulations Jude on making some lemonade out of your lemons. Sending you love and support. Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#467207 - 07/03/14 02:13 PM Re: Revised: I'm Grateful For....... [Re: Jude]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 336
Loc: Iowa, USA
Jude,

I just want to let you know how much you are appreciated here on MS. Many times when I've been down, I've turned to you for advice and support. You have always been kind and helpful. I have appreciated it greatly. Please know that I, along with many others, think highly of you. You are simply a great guy. I'm cheering for you and if you need a shoulder to cry on, feel free to use one of mine.

Dave

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