sorry.. I didn't know if I had more time on the computer.
A person is allowed 90 minutes a day.
But.. it is close to the end of the day.. so
when I was on my last minute I didn't want to end up
losing all the material I typed up so I rushed .. sorry
about that.

Anyway,, when I listened to my mom`s voice..
I started crying.. and I feel aweful I don't know if ill
see her again. I love her sooo much!
My dad is so sick.. not only am I sick for eating the
entire pie..( I plan to go to an overeaters anonymous
meeting).... but .. my dad`s sister in law ( my aunt
and her husband).. they made me feel like I cant love
my mom.
Do you have any idea what it is like to be this bad boy
and I never was... I was.. never bad mom. I hate my
dad.. and I hate my self for chasing them out of this
city. And now they are gone.
And.. I am just so .. burned out!
I know that it is up to me to love my self. And I never
want to see my dad .. I don't.
This might happen. But , fuck for me not to have a relationship with my mom... my brother( he is a little nutty,
too).. and.. it breaks my heart that I could never spend
time with her... and I just hate it that I have to hold
my tears in .. and I am not going to have a dad.
And this is so hard to do all this.

Anyway, love it that I have your
support.
Thanks
hugs.
Goran