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#466948 - 06/24/14 02:56 PM ****MEGA Trigger Warning*****
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6453
Loc: Right Behind You!
For those of you who regret not disclosing earlier... For those who are still hesitant to disclose now or 5-years from now; This ONE case and ONE posting on Huffington proves one of the reasons we don't disclose sooner or ever.

For those of you who have come upon this site, look at the reasons we, as men, refuse to disclose the abuse we endured.

I write here more for the visitors and voyers than for my brothers in pain. But my brothers in pain should see that what we always suspected is still alive and well.

I wouldn't even bother with this post if it were not for the willful ignorance and moronic apathy that is so freely displayed in this nation. This is why I had to stop my activism for the past 7 months.





*********************TRIGGER PART**********************

TITLE: Janelle Foley, School Food Service Worker, Charged With Rape Of 15-Year-Old Boy
The Huffington Post


THESE ARE SOME ONLINE REPLIES:

Richard Riddick
Not buying it, i doubt he put up a struggle or begged her to stop.
10 JAN 4:13 PM

David C. (LEXngton)
Exactly!!! Lucky 15 year old, we all dreamed of having sex with someone as attractive as her when we were 15 didn't we? I sure did!
10 JAN 8:08 PM

Richard Riddick
We men always had hot teachers we wanted but couldnt have.

Dean L. (harolddundee)
He was willing or it wouldn`t have happened.
11 JAN 11:09 AM

Jon H. (Jon_Hilderbrand)
Can anybody explain how this 15 year old can be a "victim" in this case, a mere "child", incapable of consent because he is not mentally "mature" enough, and yet if HE raped HER, he would be prosecuted as an "adult", considered fully capable of understanding the gravity of his act? Is there not a very clear double standard?

Saul Goode (Saul_Goode)
Rape is too strong of a word, seduced is more appropriate. Unlike women, most boys (men) have fantasies that embrace the "Mrs Robinson Complex."


Larry D. (larrytheuglrep)
Now they're going to make him a "victim".
In my day, he would have been a hero.


David S. (Miley_Beiber)
what is wrong with you people? from a normal mans view. Any kid in high school who is in this situation, that a hot, or fairly hot woman, teacher, caf. worker, janitor whatever. If the female comes on to the boy, and they somehow end up engaging in sex.... that boy is going to be psyched! not damaged...The problem comes in when he decides to tell his friends. Then They tell other people, whether being jealous or otherwise. the next thing you know...... WE HAVE THIS.

Justin Law (Justin_Law)
WHERE WERE ALL THESE HORNY FEMALE SCHOOL OFFICIALS WHEN I WAS YOUNG. GOD. EVERYBODY ELSE GETS EVERYTHING BUT MEEEE

Andy Lighter (Andy_Lighter)
When I was 15 I would have been thrilled to be "raped" by a female teacher who looked like that. Don't believe this baloney that a 15 year old boy doesn't know what he wants or what he's "getting in to".

Joshua . (MrJM1210
According to the Merrian Webster Dictionary,
rape
transitive verb

: to force (someone) to have sex with you by using violence or the threat of violence....... The boy was not forced, he is 15 not 5. Federal age of sexual consent is 16 years old. Some states will have an age of consent of 18 years old and many states do not have an age gap provision. Bottom line is that, the "Statutory Rape Law" is man made and is not an accurate determining factor of maturity level. States allow teen sexuality which means that teens within a certain age group can legally have intercourse. Now that sounds much more dangerous than a 15 year old boy, carried out by mutual consent, having intercourse with a grown woman. From the age of 15 to (16), the legal age of consent in Massachusetts, a few months would not make the kid much more mature to have intercourse. Whether it would have been an underage girl and a adult male, no force against anyone's will was used. With that said people, this not rape at all, stop being so ignorant.


Billiam M. (Stormtrooper1970
This was not forced rape. It was not a violent crime. He was less than a year away from legal consent in Massachusetts (and 31 other states), which is 16.

Nick B. (nickb47)
has anyone thought that maybe this 15 year old may have some substance abuse issues himself? I am from weymouth, and I am witnessing the downfall of our youth... we have 15 and 16 year old girls getting shitfaced and taking caps of (molly?) which as we all know is cut with all sorts of unknown drugs...

John Ehrhart (ehrhartjohn)
It's obviously mutually consenting and they were both getting something out of it. Those statutory rape laws are too broad a legal brush. They need to approach these situations with a more in depth fact finding as to intent and what actually happened. If there is not a real strong adult taking advantage situation which is more likely with a man and underage girl, then criminalizing the relationship is overly harsh.
_________________________
Keep the others in your life happy - Comply Comply Comply

The Aftermath Video

My Absolute Hero!

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#466949 - 06/24/14 03:01 PM Re: ****MEGA Trigger Warning***** [Re: Still]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 587
God I want to burn the fucking world.
_________________________
Husky

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#466950 - 06/24/14 03:38 PM Re: ****MEGA Trigger Warning***** [Re: Still]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1338
Loc: kansas
yes, it completely sucks...

but i still have to stick with the belief that we are still at the beginning of getting the truth/facts out to society...

much like when aids first made national news. it scared society. a LOT of misinformation, lies were spread like wildfire. a resistance, by society, was in full affect to go against hearing any truths or facts... took a long time for society to change it's views to a more compassionate and understanding one with regards to the aids epidemic...

i honestly feel that we are in the same boat here... we are going to have to take the brunt of society's angst, lies and misinformation. we are the ones having to blaze a trail of truth, logic and factual information...

IT SUCKS!!!!

but i'm willing to take it on for my fellow survivor brothers and their recoveries as well as mine.
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#466951 - 06/24/14 03:53 PM Re: ****MEGA Trigger Warning***** [Re: Still]
Sven Offline


Registered: 07/29/13
Posts: 282
Damn... Such ignorance... Sad.. Poor boy...
_________________________
In the howling wind
Comes a stinging rain
See it driving nails
Into souls on the tree of pain
From the firefly a red orange glow
See the face of fear
Running scared in the valley below
~ Bullet The Blue Sky - U2

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#466953 - 06/24/14 05:42 PM Re: ****MEGA Trigger Warning***** [Re: Still]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1356
This is an unfortunate misconception that still exists even in popular media. Until society has the courage to look at the problem instead of pretending it doesn't exist, mindsets like these will flourish
_________________________



Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#466954 - 06/24/14 05:45 PM Re: ****MEGA Trigger Warning***** [Re: Still]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3420
Loc: somewhere in Africa
this is why i never read the comments. they are mostly written by IDIOTS!
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#466955 - 06/24/14 06:00 PM Re: ****MEGA Trigger Warning***** [Re: Still]
NoSimpleMachine Offline


Registered: 06/05/14
Posts: 114
Loc: SF Bay Area
There was an article on Facebook earlier this week that was basically a CSA survivor and advocate...he was taken advantage of by an older woman when he was in his teens...the comments had about a 50/50 mix of depressing "oh he should just be thankful he got some action" sorta crap and "we need to stop pretending that sexual violence doesn't impact men and women, young and old".

So...I hope the discussion in the culture is evolving. Look at how people are talking about systemic misogyny and rape culture these days. Granted it's mostly in the "adult men preying on adult women" paradigm but it's a discussion that wasn't happening ten years ago, and the traumas and violence being discussed is related to the experiences of child abuse victims, and is only going to help make the culture more empathetic. But there's a lot of inertia in how people think.
_________________________
I've known love, I've known pain, and I've called them by each other's names.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tazGZU4ufGM

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#466956 - 06/24/14 06:42 PM Re: ****MEGA Trigger Warning***** [Re: Still]
I Want 2 Thrive Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/04/14
Posts: 81
Loc: Florida, U.S.A
Wow, just wow! Just when I think my world view is getting too jaded, people open their mouths and prove my observations and opinions correct!

-Izzy

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#466960 - 06/24/14 09:50 PM Re: ****MEGA Trigger Warning***** [Re: Still]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 285
Loc: MO
Thank you still.

I hate it but I need the reminder.

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#466966 - 06/25/14 01:23 AM Re: ****MEGA Trigger Warning***** [Re: Still]
justplainme Offline


Registered: 09/01/09
Posts: 306
Nothing new, the world has always been riddled with evil men, we must be the opposing force. Nothing more to say.
_________________________

"Survivors need an opportunity to define their own sexuality in their own terms, rather than in reaction to the abuse, so that they stop allowing their offenders to have power over them sexually."

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