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#466556 - 06/13/14 08:42 AM Re: Meditation [Re: OCN]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 749
Loc: michigan
hi ocn
it is a little hard to describe the feeling. for me silence IS a feeling. or at least I feel silence. ya know in the scary movies when the spooky music starts to play, you know something bad is about to happen but you may not be sure what it is. that is what silence is to me. if the CD stops playing, or the movie has come to an end I might make 2-3 minutes MAYBE. and then it begins to become... thick. it's like something is wrong. I begin to get tense and then the scratching begins. T tells me that is a soothing behavior, I know I do it when I am uncomfortable(emotionally) and IF I notice myself doing it I can stop but will go back to it as long as I am uncomfortable so it becomes a huge distraction.I have thought to use chimes or perhaps one of the small flowing fountains to make a small amount of noise to help me stay focused. Im not sure if that would work or not. my mind tends to fill with all sorts of distraction. the specific void I referred to was the quiet that T used to use as a therapeutic technique. it is used to help draw out feelings and responses but it is NOT something that works well for me. the silence in that pause seems like an incredible threat.
Im not sure this is what you meant when you asked but i tried. Im more than willing to try Im just not sure how
Jeff
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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#467307 - 07/06/14 02:20 PM Re: Meditation [Re: OCN]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1390
Loc: California
I find this to be a very powerful meditation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

I started this again about a week ago. I notice really remarkable mood changes within a few days of doing it every morning. No idea why I rebelled against the idea when I found this 1.5 years ago. It kicked off my decision to let go of all the anger and rage I've carried all my life.




Edited by Magellan (07/06/14 07:00 PM)
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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#467318 - 07/06/14 09:12 PM Re: Meditation [Re: OCN]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 581
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Hi Magellan,

Thanks! I needed that. and was amazed when visualizing the exercise with someone I have difficulty with. The person I imaged suddenly morphed into someone else I had great difficulty with and then worked its way back to my abusers. WOW! I emailed your post to myself, and really get the freeing possibilities for myself at sending love and kindness to the most difficult people in my life. It's amazing to contemplate what happens to my rage that surfaces while I'm sending love and kindness. I hope I remember this, and don't have to wait 1.5 years to revisit it.

Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#467410 - 07/08/14 09:57 PM Re: Meditation [Re: OCN]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1390
Loc: California
You're welcome, Don.

After doing it very inconsistently for a week now, I have to say the difference in my thinking and feeling states is radically different. I no longer have negative thoughts rampaging through my consciousness. Once in a while, one comes flying by, but I just let it pass through. I would have to deliberately concentrate on a negative thought to start feeling bad.

I had this same experience when I first did this 1.5 years ago. I really wonder why I stopped. Sheesh.

I'm sold on this meditation. I hope I don't bail on it again.
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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